Alone

i hear a lawnmower in the distance
i see hot pink blossoms droop
i sense a neighborhood at peace
but me, sitting in the open, i am not.
we've reached our destination
i've organized the room i'll stay in
i throw a bone for the dog Sam
Everyone seems happy as can be
but, in this silence, what about me?
i feel alone, unwelcomed even
i feel like no one wants to care
about the young one sitting there
writing by herself near the pool
sometimes i think i try too hard
for i can't even get an ounce of love
outside my own family.
i wish to be in a loving embrace
with anyone i hold dear.
but no one gets what they want anyways
so why should i be any different?
even though all around me
birds sing,
people talk,
plants frow,
i feel like i am all alone
and on a very deserted island
in the middle of absolutely nowhere.
people say that all i do
is feel sorry for myself!
They say that all i think about is
me
me
me
but in truth, i love, care, and think
about everyone but myself.
i try to help others
try to fit in
try to do what i know is right
try to forget
forget all that i'm going through
as i stare into the eyes of a dog who wants to play
i feel like even she cannot see the
REAL me!
No one can
And no one ever will
becuase once i tried to open up
i tried to let them in
i tried to let them see my true self
and they shunned me
they tried to keep away
and, so the story's told, i close myself
to that world of strangers
and even those i know.
but you don't see me complaining
to the ones i love
that i'm always broken
inside and out.
but no one notices, no one cares
'cuz no one knows
that i'm all alone
in this battle of life
that i'm loosing mentally...
and emotionally.