Sadie

The first time I saw Sadie I fell in love with the beautiful girl. Her eyes darted back and forth, examining the fluorescent lit hallway as the police officers, emergency medical technicians, and social workers responsible for taking her from her home carried her into the children’s’ hospital where I had finished my residency, specializing in child psychiatry, just one year prior. She was silent then, still afraid to even open her mouth, but she radiated both elegance and fragility, and her soft but piercing grey eyes conveyed the message that I needed to help her. Sadie was the most extreme case of a feral child I had ever seen. My supervising physician Doctor Greening came to my office later that day.
“Well what do you think Doctor Roberts, your main interest is isolated children isn’t it?”
“She’s incredible, I mean I’ve never seen anything like her. No one has.”
“I’m glad you’re excited, because I’m recommending you to be part of a group of doctors who will be researching and rehabilitating the girl.”
“I don’t know what to say Doctor Greening. Thank you.”
“You are supposed to report to her examination room to give a preliminary, and to meet your new partners
“I guess I’ll be on my way then. Thank you again Doctor Greening.”
As I walked down the hall to visit Sadie, I poured through the files the police and social workers gave to me. I discovered Sadie’s world of isolation and abuse, inflicted upon her by her father until his death. I looked at photographs of the room in which her elderly father had kept her for the entire eleven years of her life. The pictures depicted a cold and bare room with no windows. In it was nothing but a bed and a potty chair.
Passing the nurses station I flipped through the pages of the police report. It stated that neighbors had informed them of a disconcerting inactivity within the house, and had noticed the newspaper and mail boxes full to capacity. When they came to investigate that morning an officer noticed a leg lying motionless on the floor when he peered through a missing slat in the blinds. Sadie’s father had fallen down the stairs and snapped his neck.
I turned to my right to head towards the examination rooms when I flipped to the last page. A Polaroid picture fell to the ground. It was old and dirty around its once white edges, and portions of the film were wrinkled and creased. As I bent down to pick it up I stopped, kneeling in the middle of the hallway. The girl was staring at the camera, as if she had never seen one before, and her head was tilted slightly forward. Her grey eyes looked up at the camera, standing out from the pale skin of her face. Written along the bottom portion in cursive was Sadie 7 years old August 14 1995. It was the most beautiful photograph I had ever seen.
As I stood back up an unfamiliar voice sounded close behind me, nearly whispering in my ear.
“Incredible isn’t she?” I spun around and gave her a puzzled look. “You must be Doctor Roberts. It’s nice to meet you. I’m Julia Marin, one of your group members.” The young woman smiled, revealing a row of straight, white teeth. She extended her thin arm, and I stood straight up and shook her hand. Her hand was bony, as was the rest of her. Her cheekbones were high and pointed, and her black hair came down in a mop nearly covering her eyes.
“I’m a linguistics and education expert. I just finished graduate school.”
“It’s nice to meet you too.”
Julia and I walked into Observation room 4c. Waiting inside was a short, fat Jewish man filling a Styrofoam cup with coffee. He smiled through his thick gray beard.
“Doctor Roberts, and Julia, hello. My name is Doctor Robert Varkonyi, I’m a psychologist.” Robert had a cheerful affect to him, in fact he seemed resiliently cheerful, and he extended his hand while beaming the same beard-masked smile at me.
“How do you do?” I said as I shook the man’s hand. He had a vigorous shake, one that could knock you over if you weren’t careful.
“I’m good, I’m good.” Doctor Varkonyi sighed. “And you my dear?” The psychologist pointed his direction at Julia. “How are you? It’s been years since I’ve seen you.”
“About five years as a matter of fact. I’m doing well.” The two hugged, awkwardly, because Julia stood almost half a foot over Varkonyi’s baldhead.
“Robert was one of my professors at my university. He’s the one who got me interested in linguistics.”
We looked on as a nurse tried to make Sadie feel more at ease by picking up the clunky, plastic toys scattered around the room. The plastic was shiny, all sorts of bright yellows and greens and reds, colors that Sadie had never seen before. She didn’t pay attention to the toys, instead her eyes darted around the room constantly. She fixed her gaze for a moment at the one way mirror the three of us were standing behind.
She stared at the mirror, and as she stood up from her chair I noticed she was somewhat bowlegged. She walked over to her reflection in a sort of bunny-hop – quickly rolling up and down on her tip-toes as she took her steps, her arms bent, and her elbows pressed to her sides with her palms forward.
She came within inches of the mirror, and waved her hand as she followed the reflection with her eyes.
“She is incredible.” Robert said, setting his cup down.
“She’s going to make us famous.” Julia said. Sadie put both of her hands above her head and planted them against the glass. She tilted her head slightly forward, and turned her eyes up.
“She’s beautiful.” I was again stunned by her gaze. “If none of you mind I’d like to perform the preliminary psych evaluation.” Robert looked at me somewhat sheepishly.
“I don’t mind,” he said, “but I’ve already evaluated her, you know, for my own research.”
I felt my heart beat harder and harder in my chest. My face flushed. I didn’t say anything to him, but he must’ve known I was furious. I turned and left the observation room and entered Sadie’s room.
“Sadie?” I asked as I smiled at her. She quickly turned from the mirror and directed her attention at me. “My name is Dr. Michael Roberts.” I pointed to my nametag as I sat down next to her. She followed my finger with her eyes as I extended my hand towards her to shake it. Sadie stood for a moment, expressionless except for her pleading grey eyes. She pointed a finger and quickly poked my palm before drawing her hand back to her side.
“Do you want anything to eat or drink?” I asked as I pantomimed each action, bringing the fake spoon up to my mouth and chewing my fake food, then washing it down with my fake glass of water and then rubbing my stomach and looking satiated.
Sadie wouldn’t open her mouth, and she used no facial expressions.
“Do you like dolls?” I asked as I walked over and picked up a small plastic doll. It was a baby, with molded plastic hair that was painted gold, and glassy blue eyes. Sadie hadn’t stood up from her chair since her examination of the mirror; she had only experienced the room with her darting eyes.
She
As Sadie grabbed the doll, I noticed her mouth began to open slightly. She looked at the doll first, then brought it to her face and held it against her cheek. She wasn’t coddling, it was her way of experiencing to objects around her. She felt the plastic against her face and when she was done examining the doll she dropped it on the floor. Sadie looked up at me, and I looked back at her and smiled. Sadie bounced up and down in a bunny-hop and the corners of her mouth lifted and her lips formed a gentle curve.
Julia opened the door and poked her head in to the room.
“Excuse me Dr. Roberts but I was wondering if I could work with Sadie right now. I have another case study in an hour.”
“I just started, but I suppose if it’s the only time you can see her it’s okay.”
As I touched Sadie’s bony shoulder she looked up at me. “She is pleading,” I thought, “pleading for me to stay with her. And Miss Marin is trying to take control.” I brushed past Julia Marin and gave a slight nod as I gritted my teeth.
I returned to my office and placed Sadie’s file on my desk, complete as I received it but for one item. I pulled out the old Polaroid and put it in my jacket pocket.
…………………………………………………………………………………
Early in the morning I headed for the children’s hospital to see Sadie before meeting with the other members of the group. At six thirty in the morning the hospital was quiet and peaceful. The nurses gave most of the patients their first doses of medication and fed them breakfast between six and seven.
I picked up Sadie’s folder from my office and started towards the eastern wing of the hospital. She was in a different room now, one with a bed and a bathroom, and it was considerably further from my office. As I arrived I stopped one of the nurses.
“Is Sadie awake?”
“Yes Doctor Roberts, she’s eating her breakfast.” I thanked the nurse with a smile and knocked on Sadie’s door. When I opened the door and walked in Sadie was eating scrambled eggs with her fingers, which she formed into a kind of spoon, shoveling the mushy yellow globs from the plate to her mouth. I started to take a seat in the chair behind me when I noticed someone snoring. I turned around to find Dr. Varkonyi hunched in the chair, holding his notebook to his chest and stomach.
“Varkonyi why are you here?” The psychologist was roused, but still confused.
“Doctor Roberts, good morning.” He rubbed his eyes.
“Good morning, but what are you doing sleeping in this room?” I was careful not to raise my voice, though I was angry with him. I didn’t want to frighten Sadie.
“I was still at the hospital working on some research when they moved her to this room. I wanted to make sure she went to bed okay, and I guess I must have fallen asleep.”
“I see. Well if you don’t mind I’d like some time with her before we meet.” He seemed reluctant, but quickly rose nonetheless.
“Certainly, certainly, I need some coffee anyways.” Varkonyi left the room.
Sadie was engrossed in her food, she was malnourished and deyhydrated when the police found her, and she didn’t look up from her eggs, toast and orange juice until she finished them. She seemed much more comfortable with opening her mouth now, and even let out a cry of glee when she was done.
I left Sadie’s room at seven and to meet with Robert Varkonyi and Julia Marin. I entered the room to the two of them arguing feverishly.
“Nothing gives you the right to do that Robert!” Julia’s teeth were glaring as she shouted. “I can’t believe that you of all people would even consider that to be a good idea!”
“She needs to be introduced into a normal family system, and my wife and I are volunteering to do that.” Dr. Varkonyi’s glared at Julia as he spoke, and I could see his grimace through his beard. “It has nothing to do with rights.”
I slammed the door so they would notice my presence.
“what the hell is going on?” I slammed Sadie’s folder onto the metal table in front of me. “Somebody tell me right now.”
“Robert and his wife have applied to become Sadie’s foster parents.” Julia was hysterically close to tears.
“Robert is that true?” I was on the brink of losing it after I heard this. “What could possibly make you think that would be a good idea?”
“We all know that she needs to be integrated into a family.” Robert was nervous explaining his reasoning.
I stopped him short. “First of all it is much too soon to even start thinking about foster caring Sadie. Second of all, it is certainly a conflict of interest and a violation of the patient – doctor relationship. I’m sorry Robert but this cannot happen, and what’s more, you know that.” Robert looked defeated, but accepting of my explanation.
“Thank you Dr. Roberts.” Julia was elated… vindicated. “That is what I’ve been trying to tell him for the last 20 minutes.”

…………………………………………………………………………………

The phone rang as I was walking out the door in the morning. “Dr. Roberts? This is Dr. Varkonyi.”
“Yes Robert, what’s going on?”
“I just got to the children’s hospital and Sadie was gone.”
“Excuse me?” My heart sank. “Where the hell could she have gone?”
“I called Julia, and she told me that during a trip to her home, Sadie caught measles from her, and has asked the hospital to allow her to quarantine her in her home.”
“That’s ridiculous!” I couldn’t believe I was hearing this. “Why were neither of us informed of this decision?”
“I have no idea Dr. Roberts.” Dr. Varkonyi’s voice was trembling.”
“Well I guess we had better go and talk to her.”
I met Robert at the hospital and we drove together to Julia’s home. She lived alone, within ten minutes of the hospital.
“Dr. Roberts, I wanted to apologize for my past actions, I was behaving irrationally. You see, my wife and I haven’t been able to have a child, and something about poor Sadie is just so…”
“Appealing, beautiful, perfect?” I looked into his eyes through my rearview mirror.
“All of those. She is so innocent you can’t help but want to do anything you can for her.” Varkonyi looked down at his lap.
“I know what you mean.” I understated.

Julia’s house was a small one story on the corner of the block. I parked in front and Robert and I got out of the car. Robert knocked on the old solid wood door. Julia answered and she was obviously surprised to see us. She opened her mouth to say something, but before she could Robert spoke up.
“We’ve come just to see Sadie, we just want to continue our treatment and research.” Robert was stern, he looked directly into her eyes and didn’t falter a bit.
“I’m sorry but I can’t allow that.” Julia’s eyes shifted as she spoke. “Sadie is sick, and she is certainly not up to any tests today.”
“I’m sorry Julia but we have to see Sadie right now, if you won’t let us, we’ll call the police.”
Varkonyi pushed past Julia and walked into her kitchen. Julia turned and tried to stop him and I followed her. Once I was in the kitchen I saw Sadie, looking as healthy and spry as ever, sitting at the counter and eating a slice of orange.
“Would you care to explain this to us Julia?” I said, thinking there was no way she could possibly explain it.
“Sadie doesn’t need three doctors around her all the time, in fact its hurting her progress. She is going to make me famous, and there is nothing either of you two can do about it.” Julia, confident in her rationalization held her chin up and spoke down to us. “I’ve already applied to be her foster parent.”
“We’ve already been over this.” I told her. “It isn’t possible
Months after we first began treating Sadie I returned to the children’s hospital from a conference. I had been gone for a week and was excited to see if Sadie’s progress had continued to exceed our expectations so astoundingly. Carrying her file, now four times as thick, I walked to the east wing and arrived at her room. I opened the door and walked in, to find the room empty. The glasses and bottles of water that Sadie hoarded over the previous months were all gone. Drawings that used to line the dull white walls were no longer there.
My stomach knotted. When I walked out of the room Dr. Varkonyi was waiting in the hallway.
“I just found out myself,