All she wants is the old him, the real him.... |
The Real Him Everything is falling, crumbling, down around him. His perfect life, now so miserable and cold. Everything is dark. Blackness fills his eyes, keeping everything that is right, out of view, out of sight. To her, he is gone, lost in the darkness. What started as a game, as a fun ride, has become a hellish never ending circle, a way of life. When looking at him, she is reminded of the boy she fell in love with, the one who loved her for her, not for what she was. But this boy was not him, this boy was a completely different person, same name or not. The real him could make all her troubles melt away with the simple act of saying her name. Anyone could say her name over and over, but when he said it, oh, when he said it, her heart stopped, she went weak in the knees. Just sitting here with him she is reminded of all the memories, all the laughs, all the tears, simply with one look, one glance. He looks at her, and for a split second the world stops. She is short of breath, and everything else disappears. All she can see is him, the one who makes everything better, the one who she fell in love with. But then, as eye contact is broken, he fades, runs back to the darkness, and is re-substituted with this new boy. She starts to say something, anything, to bring him back- but stops. She knows nothing is strong enough to withdraw him from that feeling of bliss where he dwells; not even love itself. He stiffens. He knows something is wrong, but does not say anything, does not mention one word, too afraid of facing what just might be the truth. She can’t take it any longer, she explodes, and everything goes blurry. Not able to stop herself, all her feelings and thoughts are spilled out of her, into the empty space separating the two. When all space is taken by her endless words of remorse, she stops and looks into his eyes, pleading with hers that she’ll find him again. He looks away, hurt, avoiding her eyes, and looks back with tears in his. Then he says two little words that make everything well again. “I’m sorry…” He is back, she can see in his eyes, and can feel it in her heart, the real him is finally back. And even though he has overused those two words, it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter that they were meaningless to him just one minute ago, because he wasn’t this new boy anymore, but the one she loved, the real him. |