A Cutter's Anthem

I’m lost in the crowd. I feel like a ghost. I’m forgotten. I’m alone. I try to hide my face, I’m so ugly. I try to hide the scars from everyone but me.

Why don’t you care? Why didn’t you ever care? Don’t you know that I care? That I’ve always cared? The least you could have done is pretend that you cared. Maybe then I could have lived. Maybe then I would have never cried and found comfort in a knife. Don’t believe the hype. It was never true. I never did it just for you. No never you, I did it for myself.

(chorus)I can’t take the pain. No I can’t. I can’t take the pain. The horrible pain that burns with passion inside of me. I CAN’T TAKE IT! So I’ll take my new best friend, my wonderful knife, I’ll run through my skin as long as it feels right. I’ll go so deep that it doesn’t even bleed. It doesn’t even bleed and I can’t help but feel happiness.

I did it to feel, to feel alive because I’ve become so numb. I needed to feel. It made me feel alive. I was dying inside. Although I know that these open wounds will never close and heal. I don’t care because I needed it. I needed it so I could actually feel good about myself. I needed it and I still do.

Don’t stare at me. Don’t stare at my broken heart. Don’t you stare at the scars. I don’t care. I hope the scars will always be there. So they’ll haunt you. So you’ll know what you’ve done. That I’m dying inside. Now that I can actually feel, feel real, feel alive. This feelings really surreal. No I don’t want to hide anymore. I’ve been hiding my whole life. Now I hide behind all the everlasting scars and the razorblade and the knife. I can hide while sitting in my room all alone crying my eyes out and holding the proof. The proof that yes I cut and I like it. In fact I love it. Don’t think I’m a freak. I’m no freak. If I’m a freak you are too.

(chorus)

Someday when you find me dead and in hell don’t blame yourself. It’s me who’s to blame. I’m the one who slowly killed myself. Who found comfort in a knife and finding pleasure in seeing myself bleed. Somehow my blood pouring out of a cut brings me happiness. I loved everything about cutting. I don’t care what you think of that. I never have. Your to judgmental and stupid. You’re the one who should go to hell!!!!

(chorus x2)