Dead Dog

Hey Dude, where's Alex?”

“Dead.”

“Really? Was he that old? “

“Neighbor shot him”

“What?”

“Yeh, didn't just shoot him but threw him in the dumpster. Guys from the dump called.”

“Man, that stinks. Oh, sorry, bad choice of words. You know who did it?”

“Yeh. Can't prove it.”

“You call the police?”

“Yeh, but the neighbor called the police a couple of times before ‘cause they said Alex barked all day while I'm workin’. I mean, like, what am I suppose to do with the dog? Leave him in the house?”

“So you think the same neighbor shot him?”

“Yeh, I'm guessin’.”

“Can't they do stuff like on CSI?”

“Naw. Neighbor says he don't even own a gun. Besides, shot went clean through. Cops say anyone in the forest could have shot him. Man, I’m hurtin’ without my dog.”

“Did the cops talk to you about the barking?”

“Twice. I mean, like, ‘Hey dude, it’s a dog; it barks!’”

“You couldn’t take him with you to work?”

“Heck, no. You know how Gunnerson is on the job site. I mean, he has HIS dog, but the rest of us can’t. Says it’s too distracting. I say he’s a jerk.”

“Well, I'm sorry about Alex”

“Thanks. I'm looking at getting another dog. The Davis' got a litter of labs. Cute little buggers. I think I’ll get three.”

“Three? Geez, Bobby, one was more than you could handle. What’re you gonna do with three?”

“I’m thinking of fencing in the yard instead of tying them up, like I did Alex.”

“Are you nuts? You can’t build a fence here; it’s against the covenants or restrictions or something.”

“Well, let ‘em try. And I’m gonna train those dogs to bark. Make noise all day. And while I’m at it, I’m gonna get some of those outdoor stereo speakers and put on some good rap. I'll show that old fart next door.”

“Bobby, listen to yourself. You may just get three dogs shot and the police will be back."

“Ya know, Dave, I just don’t care. They can’t boot me out of town, can they?”

“Well, no. But I think they can issue citations.”

“What’s that mean? Is that like a parking ticket?”

“I think so. I think you have to go to court if you don’t pay it.”

“Man, that stinks. You know that judge hates everyone under 30.”

“Yeh, well. Where you going now?”

“Home. Ya know, I just want Alex back. I mean, who am I gonna sleep with tonight?”

“Well, now, that IS a problem.”