Friday Night Fights

Jay looked at the clock and sighed. 2:30 am... Her mother should have been home already. Jay guessed she had gone back to some sleazy hotel with a man she met at work. It wasn't anything unusual. Jay had been dealing with it since she was old enough to cook for herself. Sometimes Jay didn't see her mother for days on end. Just as Jay was about to lock the door and go to bed, in burst her mom and a drunk, balding, middle-aged man. Jay could smell the alcohol on both of them. Her mom stumbled into the living room--if you could call it that--laughing and holding on to the strange man she'd brought home. Jay rolled her eyes and moved to go to her room. Her mom yelled, "Don't roll your fucking eyes at me, girl. I pay the goddamn bills around here. I can come home whenever the hell I want--and with whoever I want!"

The outburst was nothing new to Jay. Alcohol always made her mother mean. "Sorry, Brenda," Jay spat back, sarcastically and locker herself in her bedroom. She layed down on her bed and turned up her stereo to drown out her mother's voice in the other room. Soom, Jay heard a crash in the kitchen followed by her mother's footsteps coming down the hallway. "Jameson Anne Monroe! What the fuck did I tell you about keeping the goddamn house clean?" She began punding on Jay's door. "Turn that damn music down and open the door! I've got company here and the house looks like a fucking pig-stye!" Jameson finally went to the door.

"You're never here except when you need a place to fuck when you can't afford a hotel. Why do you care what the hous elooks like?!" Jay yelled as she opened the door wider and stepped out into the hall. Her mother replied by slapping her across the face.

"Don't talk to me like that, little girl!" Her mother growled, her fist hovering in the air. "I keep the bills paid so you have a roof over your head and food to eat. You'd better respect me or you'll be sleeping on the streets!" Jay went to slam the foor in her mother's face but Brenda blocked it and punched Jay in the chest, knocking the breath out of her. Jay fell to the floor and kicked her mother in the shins, then slammed the door shut and locked her mother out.

Jay crawled to her bed and reached under it for a small jewelry box her mom gave her on her 6th birthday. Inside were a straigh edged razor blade, an xacto knife, a box cutter, some gauze, betadine, and tape. She sat on her bed and layed each object out in front of her and pulled up the sleeve on her left arm. She studied the items for a few minuts before deciding on the box cutter. In the other room, her mother had finally grown quiet. All Jay could hear was her own heartbeat as she sliced though the skin on her left arm. A wave of relife washed over her as she sliced over and over in parallel lines. Bright red blood poured forth from her skin, and finally, tears filled her eyes and fell down her cheeks. She stopped cutting after she'd made 27 perfectly parallel incisions.

Jay finally started to come down from the temporary high and cleaned the cuts with betadine and carefully bandaged her arm. Her chest had begun to throb and the entire house was quiet at last. Jay layed down and drifted off to sleep, hoping maybe she'd wake up in a better place the next morning.