Pain

Hanna woke up suddenly and sat straight up in bed, breathing hard. Wow, she thought, what a horrible dream that was! She had just woken up from a nightmare in which her husband had been chasing her. As she slowly got her bearings, she realized that there was more reality to the nightmare than met the eye. For one thing, her husband, Doug, was nowhere to be found. She knew he hadn’t left for work yet, because it was only 4:30 AM and he didn’t leave until 7:30. But he wasn’t in the bedroom…
…As she got up to go look for him, she felt strange, almost as if she were still dreaming. As she headed toward the stairs, she passed a mirror in the hall and did a double-take. That couldn’t possibly be her reflection! The tearstained face, the tired eyes, the bruises on her neck…those weren’t hers! She quickly looked at her arms – there were bruises there, too! No, she thought to herself, it couldn’t be…Slowly she tried to piece together the puzzle of what had really gone on the night before…
…It was all coming back to her now. Last night she had invited her best friend Diane over for coffee while Doug was out of the house, working. The kids were already in bed or working on homework, so they had a quiet time to themselves. Since time like this was rare, Hanna had taken the opportunity to share with Diane the news she hadn’t even told her husband yet – she was pregnant again! Diane was ecstatic, and was even happier when Hanna shared that she was going to name the baby Diane if it was a girl.
When Doug came home twenty minutes later, Diane, assuming that he knew, congratulated him on the expected new arrival. Doug was confused, but played it down until Diane went home, around 8 PM. Then he let Hanna have it.
“Hanna…what was Diane talking about? What ‘new arrival’ are we expecting?”
“Oh, I’m sorry, sweetie, I didn’t have a chance to tell you – I’m pregnant again!”
“Y-you are? And you told Diane before you told me?” Doug was angry, and Hanna was starting to become afraid.
“Honey, you were at work…I didn’t want to bother you…”
“When did you find out?”
“Wh-what?” Hanna was taken aback.
“When did you find out?” Doug was getting louder now. Hanna chose her words carefully.
“I went to the doctor last week, and the test results came in Tuesday morning,” she replied quietly.
“Tuesday?!? Today is Thursday! Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Why did you tell Diane before you told me? How could you do that to me??” As he moved closer to her, Hanna slowly backed away. She could smell the alcohol on her husband’s breath, and realized that he hadn’t been working late – he had been out drinking with his friends instead.
“Y-you’ve been working late all week…And when you came home, you were...irritable…the time wasn’t right…Are you drunk?”
“Don’t you dare turn this around on me! You kept that from me! You lied to me!”
“Doug, c-c-calm down.” Hanna was really nervous by now.
“Don’t tell me to be calm when you’re the one who lied to me!!” Doug advanced toward Hanna and smacked her face, sending her flying into the table. She started to cry, and he kept hitting her. At first she tried to resist, but finally she gave in and stopped fighting him. He might have seriously injured her if they hadn’t heard a quiet sob from the doorway. Doug turned around with a start. It was 6-year-old Carissa. She was watching her daddy hit her mommy and was in tears. In a drunken stupor, Doug lunged for his daughter, and Hanna reacted instinctively.
“Nooo!” She leaped in front of her daughter, taking the worst of the blow. Doug was even more enraged now, and began to shake Hanna. She fought him off, grabbed Carissa, and raced upstairs to her bedroom, locking the door. Doug went after her and tried to get in, but she held fast. Eventually, he went downstairs, and she unlocked the door and went to sleep, blocking out the painful memories of the night, ready to start afresh in the morning…