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Rated: 18+ · Short Story · Comedy · #1168109
Work email at Intrasystemic Logic, Inc.
INTRASYSTEMIC LOGIC, INC.

Work Email

7:59am
To: Becky
From: Missy
Subject: Your Review

Hi, Becky. Just wanted to drop you a note and make sure you're ready for today's review! There's nothing to worry about. Everyone in there has been through a first review and felt a little nervous! Once you get through it, you'll see it's not so bad.

Good luck and see you there! :)

Missy Schaffer
Consultant
Intrasystemic Logic, Inc.
___________________________________________________________________________________________

8:07am
To: Missy
From: Becky
Subject: re: Your Review

Hi Missy! Thanks for the note of encouragement. I admit I'm a little nervous. How many people will be in there?? :)

I think I'm ready, though. I have my notes typed up and I'll make copies for everybody, as you suggested.

Becky Thompson
Consultant
Instrasystemic Logic, Inc.
___________________________________________________________________________________________

8:09am
To: Becky
From: Missy
Subject: re: Your Review

Thanks, Becky. Sounds good...are you aware the copier is broken?? Did you get the email that was sent out to the whole company yesterday about the copier being worked on today? And to make sure you had any copies you needed done copied by the end of the day yesterday? Maybe you forgot you had already copied them?? ;)

What time did you get in this morning, by the way?

Missy Schaffer
Consultant
Intrasystemic Logic, Inc.
___________________________________________________________________________________________

8:11am
To: Missy
From: Becky
Subject: re: Your Review

I didn't get that email! What should I do?? Maybe everybody printed out their own copies, since I sent the file in the email and suggested they do this?

I hope so! I admit I'm more nervous now! Haha!

I was in just after 8am. One of my kids was puking this morning.... it happens sometimes, unfortunately! :(

Becky Thompson
Consultant
Intrasystemic Logic, Inc.
___________________________________________________________________________________________

8:15am
To: Becky
From: Terry
Subject: FWD: re: Your Review

Hi Becky! Missy says you don't have copies for your review this morning? And that you were a few minutes late?

It happens to everybody, don't worry. But it's a little strange given this is only your second week! :(

What I would suggest is that you run across the street and make copies at Mory's Law Firm. We know Mory and they're usually pretty nice to us when our copier breaks down. Which usually happens every other week, it seems...

And it would be good to have you here by 8am! I've attached the company policies for your review, in case they got lost in the shuffle!

Thanks,

Terry Belmont
Supervisor, Consulting
Intrasystemic Logic, Inc.
___________________________________________________________________________________________

8:30am
To: Terry
From: Becky
Subject: FWD: re: Your Review

Terry, thanks. I dropped by Mory's and they were really nice. I was able to make the copies I needed.

I called earlier to tell you my child was sick. I left a voicemail. I was here by 8:03 anyway.

Thanks.

Becky Thompson
Consultant
Intrasystemic Logic, Inc.
___________________________________________________________________________________________

8:35am
To: Becky
From: Terry
CC: Mark
Subject: FWD: re: Your Review

Becky, glad you got the copies. They're so nice over there. Funny, I didn't get the voicemail! And I've never had trouble with my phone! :(

We're like a big family here so we understand when emails are sometimes missed and we all forget things. But we have to admit we're not used to lies! :) I've CC'd Mark on this email so we have a document trail here for Human Resources.

Don't panic! As far as our records show, you've only been late once, this morning, without notifying us ahead of time. I think I speak on behalf of Mark when I say we always give employees one more chance after a first offense!

Our hours are 8-5.

Thanks,

Terry Belmont
Supervisor, Consulting
Intrasystemic Logic, Inc.
___________________________________________________________________________________________

8:45am
To: Becky
From: Mark
CC: Brock
Subject: FWD: re: Your Review

Hi Becky! Let me welcome you again to Intrasystemic Logic. You have been through orientation and I understand your first review is today? Good luck!

I've CC'd our CEO, Brock Hunt, on this message, because I think he would appreciate having our company policies reiterated to a new employee who is already breaking the rules! :)

Our hours are from 8-5 and we expect every employee to read closely all the company-wide emails. Terry tells me this is your first offense, so you have no reason to feel concern. We just feel it is important to respond right away and let you know you are well qualified and nowhere on your application, nor in your interview, did it seem as though you were a liar.

Again, good luck in your review. Break a leg! :)

Mark Warrant
Manager, Consulting
Intrasystemic Logic, Inc.
___________________________________________________________________________________________

8:55am
To: Mark
From: Becky
Subject: FWD: re: Your Review

Dear Mark,

Thank you for the message and for your concern and advice. I want to let you know I understand the company policies. My child was sick this morning and I did make a point to leave a voicemail with Terry saying I would be in no later than 8:05am. In two emails now, I have been sort of...accused of being a liar? I know it may sound like I'm not in a place to say this, being a new employee, but that charge is ungrounded because I really did call and leave a voicemail. If Terry never received this voicemail, then somewhere there must have been a glitch.

I suppose if you want proof you could do a *69 on Terry's phone and have the number retrieved? Does that work on work phones?

I would really like to clear my name here, if possible. I do not want to make the wrong impression and I am doing my best.

Respectfully,

Becky Thompson
Consultant
Intrasystemic Logic, Inc.
___________________________________________________________________________________________

8:56am
From: IT, Human Resources
To: Becky
CC: Brock
Subject: Security Breach
HIGH IMPORTANCE

The message you sent at 8:55am with the subject line "FWD: re: Your Review" contained a word or phrase which Intrasystemic Logic, Inc., has identified as inappropriate for our work environment and subject for grave concern. The word identified was "69," an expression used to indicate the reverse positioning of two human bodies for the purposes of simultaneous oral sex.

Our system is configured such that any lewd, lurid, sexual, violent, or other highly inappropriate and potentially offensive language is flagged and immediately registered with IT and Human Resources.

After carefully examining your email, the system has determined that under no circumstances would the word "69" be considered appropriate at Intrasystemic Logic, Inc.

Please await an email from Intrasystemic Logic, Inc., CEO, Brock Hunt.

Thank You.

IT, Human Resources
Intrasystemic Logic, Inc.
___________________________________________________________________________________________

9:15am
To: Becky
From: Brock
CC: Human Resources
Subject: re: Security Breach

Dear Becky,

I regret to inform you that we have to terminate your employment with us at this time. Human Resources and IT determined that you have created a major security concern with your use of inappropriate language on work email. The flagging process we have programmed into our system is infallible and we simply cannot imagine a scenario in which your use of this inappropriate language could be condoned.

Your termination is effective immediately. Thank you for your time with Intrasystemic Logic, Inc. We wish you all the best in your future endeavors.

Sincerely,

Brock Hunt
CEO
Intrasystemic Logic, Inc.
___________________________________________________________________________________________


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