It came to me.

It came to me. Not I to it. Do not blame me for my disturbing thoughts. I did not have them until today as far as I’m aware. I am disturbed. Do not blame me. It is not my fault that I am disturbed. I have lost hope; I have lost what is real. All that was pure is gone now and shall never come back.
I am corrupt. I yearn for my poison, my blood. I yearn for destruction. I yearn for punishment. I yearn for pain.
Pain comes so easily. A simple scratch of a knife, a simple ripping of the hair, a simple word is all it takes. I see it. I create it. I feel it. Yet I am numb.
Numbness is of all evil. This makes no sense and yet I feel it is true. There is something of it, the loss of feeling that makes one wonder. Why? Why oh why?!? You can’t cry when you’re numb and you can neither smile. It is an impossible feeling. I have come to this point. Even if I sound insane I am not, and I truly mean it. I am merely disturbed. I have felt nothing in 1,000 years. I am the thing you fear. I am the vampire. I am a sultry beast. I drink your blood.
It happened long ago. How could I control what was to become? I was always feeling it in my veins. It was as if my heart wanted something other than what it had. It had so little. There was no love and there was no life. There was in a way, but I was numb the moment I was born. The corruptness came later, the moment it took a drink. It promised life. I was naïve.
Life is not given to you. You have to take it. Even as a mortal you must cease it with every chance you get, take advantage of everything. This sounds cruel but others do it and if you do not choose your path you will end up exactly like me. The life I was promised was full love and happiness. I wanted that. The moment my human life was taken away was the moment I lost hope. I convulsed. I shivered. I was thirsty and I was in pain. I was deceived. It left. I never saw it again. I figured everything out on my own.
I can indeed go into the sun but it is a dreadful idea. My skin is so pale that even incognito could never work. I am transparent. It’s not natural. I am like wax paper
I must drink such as an obese human. A few each night, no mercy will be shown. I have a slight feeling of happiness as if I were drunk. I miss that feeling. The few moments where I feel bring me alive and add a most lovely flush to my face. At that point there is no hope for the few around me. I am wretched. I am wicked. I wish I weren’t but the moment provides such a feeling of lust it’s hard to resist.
You may wonder why this information is being provided. I am merely explaining why I no longer talk. I barely move with thought. I have thought as much as I can. Nothing is new. Nothing is original. I will die soon. They have found out.
Who are They? Even I do not know. I was never mentored I figured out what I could do and did it. I have learned that They are the best. They are the ones who everyone fears.
They will come for me during my slumber; my slumber like ecstasy. They shall stake me. It will be painful but the feeling will be better than the nothing I’ve had. It will be over. Yet you must wonder why they plan to stake me.
I revealed our secret. I went into the sunlight. I thought I would die but instead I revealed our existence. Now they will kill me, not realizing that I will be “eternally” grateful for this ending. It will be over.