Impossible Sanity

I live my life through a shroud of insanity.
I try to sleep, but it's impossible.
Visions of sex and violence fill my head.
I look in a mirror and see an unfamiliar person.
Others see me as brilliant, while I disagree.
I see people and imagine them dead.

I do not wish for others to be dead.
How can I cope with the insanity?
I disagree with the thoughts I have.
Is life without insanity impossible?
How can I stop living like this person?
I believe there’s something wrong with my head.

My hands are covered in emotional blood.
Blood from my worst enemies and best friends.
I can't think straight and my mind's in disarray.
My tears are sharp, yet my blade is dull.
On the outside, I am the geeky student who sits quietly.
And when i'm alone, I beat myself up.

My life at school is one of despair
The jocks and preps are all my foes,
And I am but one weak nerd, a loner.
Even by myself I cannot escape pain,
For my mind bends me all the times,
Driving me closer to the edge of insanity…

When the 'inner me' breaks loose, I'm scared
I am afraid that sometime I’ll shed real blood,
That I will sneak up behind some one.
Possibly one of my own friends,
And my thoughts will scream, "Kill!"...but I won't.
I guess sanity isn’t impossible….
…for now.