Reasonable Doubt

Reasonable Doubt

I knew it. I just fucking knew it. There they are, plain as day. And now I have proof. These are the people closest to me? What a life. I always knew she’d burn me eventually. They all burn you eventually. But Joe? I always thought better of him. He was my best man for Christ sake. No good son of a bitch. All the things I’ve done for him, for his family. I guess fifteen years of friendship just don’t hold the kind of moxie it once did, eh?

Just look at them. Him, rubbing her back…her head against his chest. At least she’s facing away so I don’t have to see the contentment on her face. I mean they’re not even trying to hide it. Right there in public, there are people everywhere. Granted, they couldn’t have possibly expected me to be here, now, at this very moment, behind this small pane of glass in a door no more than twenty feet away from their cozy little rendezvous. Couldn’t risk getting any closer of course, wouldn’t wanna give myself away.

Wait…is she looking this way? Get down. Whew, that was close. I don’t think she saw me. Probably not, I’m cat-like in the reflex department. A lot of people don’t know that about me. Come to think of it, there’s quite a bit that a lot of people don’t know about me. Let’s see…I was in a rock band as a teenager. Lead singer. That’s something, right? What else, let’s see… oh that’s right, I fucking hate liars…and cheaters. Take my ex-best friend Joe and my lovely wife for instance.

Ok, I’m going back up to the window. More like a portal really. You know, like you’d see on a boat. Yeah, that’s it. The Rip Your Heart Out Boat. C’mon everyone, you know the words…blah, blah, blah, promises anguish for everyone. A course for adventure my ass. Focus. Ok, slowly now, like a gazelle. No, wait. Gazelle’s are fast aren’t they, that’s no good. Umm, like a…oh, man what’re those things called...with the three toes, and they hang and…sloth! Yeah, that’s it. Slowly…like a sloth. Ah, there we are. And there they are, seated across the room. Getting comfy. I’m guessing they didn’t see me. At least I’d assume not since her hand is now in his and he’s still rubbing her fucking back. And the whispering again, what in the hell is he whispering to her? I wonder. I wonder what a false friend, a backstabbing bastard of a buddy would be whispering to his best friend’s wife. Hand in hand.

Wait, who’s that guy? He’s talking to them now. Seems familiar….who is he? I can’t quite place the face. I do know him though, I’m sure of it. Why can’t I place him? And what in the hell is he doing here. Maybe he knows about them, someone they’ve confided in…. but…who? Why? And why can’t I fucking place him!? Whoa, gotta relax. Keep it cool. One thing’s for sure, he seems to be orchestrating whatever’s going on out there now….I know, maybe he’s the son of a bitchin’ Captain of the ol’ Rip Your Heart Out Boat!

Oh shit. They’re all looking right at me. All three of them. The whole crew. The Captain, First Mate Joe, and of course the magnificently beautiful yet insidiously vicious love of my life. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen the Breaker o’ Hearts hersel-

Oh no. They’re coming this way. I’ve definitely been compromised this time. She’s staring right at- hey, is she crying? Why is she crying? Oh I know, she knows she’s busted… looking for a little sympathy. No…no, that’s a much…deeper sadness. Why is she crying? And…why is Joe crying? He has that same sick sadness. That horrible, pathetic sadness. What in the fuck is going on here….they’re walking right up to my portal-slash-window. Why are they looking at me like that? Why the fuck is everyone crying?

Uh oh, now what? Keys? The door…it’s opening. They’re coming in…coming to confront me. No, wait! They’re the ones cheating. Lying. Sneaking around behind my back doing who knows what for who knows how long. What do I have to be confronted about? But then why all the sadness, I mean, all of them…even the…Captain. Ok, here goes…try to keep it together big guy. Let them do the talking first, just act cool….be cool. She’s so beautiful, so…man, I love her. How could she do this to us? How? Why? And Joe, that no good rotte- look, he can’t even look me in the eye, just keeps staring down at his feet. Man he does look rough though. Really, they both do. They look like they’ve been up for days. Ya know that life just gave me a serious beatdown look. Dark circles-no wait, is that a bruise under her eye? Did he hurt her? I swear to God if he hurt her-

Wha- is this one talking to me? The Captain, oh man…what’s he saying? So hard to focus. Feel…so…detached. Gotta concentrate…He’s saying my name… I should respond. What the- why can’t I speak? What the hell is going on here? I know, I must be in shock. I’ll just nod, play it cool. Uh oh, he’s talking again. Gotta pay attention. He’s the one. The one with all the answers. He’s the one who can explain why my wife and best friend are here together, I’m sure of it. Do I know who? Did he just ask me if I knew my friggin’ wife and the best man at our wedding? What-the-fuck-ever. I’ll play his game. Though, nodding is becoming more difficult.

Uh-oh, more talking. Focus. Wife…friend…..here to help…..love you very much. Help who? Why is it so damn hard to concentra-Did he just say breakdown? He did, he said breakdown. Who had a breakdown? Why can’t I fucking communicate!? Who the fuck had a breakd-…my God that sadness, her face has so much…so much pain. Her eye. Who fucking hurt my wife!? Why am I the damn focal point here!? Someone tell me what the fuck is going-...

Oh no....Oh God no. I did know him. He is here for me. He’s no Captain, he’s a doctor…he’s…he’s my doctor. We’re at ‘the place’ again. They’re not cheating. It’s me. I had the breakdown. I’m…I’m the reason we’re all here. They’re crying for me. She’s crying for me. She’s crying because of me. Again.

Dear God, what have I done?

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Word Count:1085