drowned secrets

She took a step closer; pebbles fell and splashed warningly as they hit the icy water below. The splash seemed deafening, a dangerous blow that pierced the crisp air and shattered her reflection in the river. It turned the water, once smooth like a sheet of polished glass, into a rippling current, and disturbed the secrets it so cunningly protected.
She did not notice and took another step forward, edging cautiously towards her final chapter. More pebbles tumbled over the edge, splitting the ghostly silence. She stood alone, yet was surrounded by people. Tears streamed down her strained cheeks as she fought the voices in her head.
“You’re too quiet….boring!”
“Ugly!”
“We don’t like you…”
“Go away!”
She was so close to ending it all, to freedom, to escaping the unforgiving taunts, yet she was still so far away from being happy.
“Hey!” a voice, riddled with panic, called out to her, but it was drowned out and lost among the others.
“Hey!” it shouted again, more urgently this time. It was a male voice. Still she did not turn. Her head was swimming; she ignored the stumbling footsteps, the frantic screams, too focused on the water below. She took a deep breath and held her arms out wide. This was the end.
“Stop!” that same voice cried out in obvious fear and she was brought clattering back down to earth as a strong hand gripped her scarred wrist and hauled her backwards
In a whirlwind of tears and distraught breathing they sat together. For hours it seemed he held her, comforted her, wiped away her tears, and not once did she wonder why he might have been there.
*
She was vulnerable and he knew it. Without question she got into his car and sat quietly, pressed against the window, her sobs the only thing to break the monotonous rattle of the old engine as they traveled a deserted road. Only the cold night air was witness to the small smile that crept across his lips.
*
For the weeks that followed she gratefully shared his small apartment in the city. She didn’t think twice of the countless photos of women that graced his dark walls, friends, girlfriends, family members maybe? She didn’t complain about the ever growing stiffness in her back from sleeping restlessly on the small couch, nor did she object to him drawing portraits of her. An art student he said. She believed every word he spoke; fell for the compliments, the endless admiration. She was falling for him and he knew it.
*
She heard the distinct noise of plastic and soft footsteps on creaking stairs. Too scared to look…she rolled over gently and maintained her heavy breathing. The footsteps faltered and her heart beat faster as they began to approach the couch. She heard the click of a shutter, followed by a blinding white light, the kind that penetrated her eyelids and left a harsh memory. He was taking photos. It was at this point that the questions began to trickle through her mind, gnawing at it like the teasing currents of the river.
‘Why was he taking photos?” she thought, fear causing a lump to build in her throat. She swallowed hard.
“Why is he creeping around at night like this? What is he hiding, why did he so willingly let me into his home?” Her heart raced at the possibilities. She contemplated the photos on the wall, whether she was to join them, the plastic bags, black and forbidding, his unfailing generosity, his compliments. Had it all been a lie? She trembled with genuine fear as the last thought crossed her mind before she fell into a nightmare ridden slumber. If he lived in the city, what was he doing at the river that day? So isolated, so far away from anywhere…
*
As the suns rays struggled through the heavily curtained window she woke with a start. The room around her had been stripped bare, furniture, photos, all gone. Alone and empty. She had to get out. Rushing for the door she tripped on the corner of the couch and landed heavily on the wooden floor. Footsteps approached quickly. Consumed by mounting fear she leapt to her feet and struggled with the heavy door. It had been locked. She could no longer control herself and frightened sobs echoed around the room. She fought against him as he tackled her from behind, thrashing and biting, hitting and kicking, but his masculine strength overcame her as she fell victim to his advances.
*
Bruised, swollen and restricted to the boot of his rusty car she used her last energy to kick out the tail lights, hoping to attract a last chance of survival, although her efforts were dismal. The only hope she had, the four men that had traveled for hours behind them, had turned off the main road moments earlier to seek their awaited camping site.
*
Standing on the same rocky ledge as she had merely a month ago she watched as the pebbles plummeted to the watery depths beneath her. Only this time, she was well aware of the shattering sound that washed past her ears. He yelled at her, cruel words, harsh insults, his voice filled with hatred and violence. He took pleasure in watching her cry, having desperately a strong will to live, but suffering with the truth that she would not. She was angry, ashamed at her vulnerability, her naivety. She wanted to defy him, to prove she was stronger, so she refused to jump. His expression wavered, but within moments his dark face returned. Twisted with rage he lunged at her, they struggled, bound together in a battle between life and death. Stones continued to fall violently around them, she was more aware of their ominous splashes than ever.
*
He stood up and dusted his knees of the blackened dust, brushing away his costly footprints and all evidence of the sorrowing crime. He paused momentarily, staring blankly at the raging currents of the darkened river, before turning back to his waiting vehicle. Harrowing winds pushed the water faster; it swept away the dust and scattered its burdened particles far and wide. Only the river carried his secrets, it perilous waters washed her life away as it had so done to many others.