I Promise

Prologue

“Push! Push!” Paul Matthews urged his wife, Anne.

She let out a groan and gave one final push and soon a shrill cry was heard throughout the room. But then the cry became subdued. Anne’s eyes opened wide. “Something’s wrong,” she said instantly.

“It’s a girl,” a nurse told Anne.

Paul and Anne watched as another nurse rushed in and surrounded the baby. “Is she okay?” Anne asked the nurse frantically.

“She’s fine,” the nurse told the woman on the bed calmly. “Just let the doctors attend to her.

“There’s something wrong,” Anne said. “This isn’t how it went last time!”

“Mrs. Matthews, please remember that you came in here early. Your baby is a month premature. It is normal to have to do a few things differently,” the nurse explained.

“She isn’t crying,” Anne cried out. “Why isn’t she crying?”

“Please calm down,” the nurse said. “Everything is fine.”

“Paul, tell me our baby is okay!” Anne said sadly.

“She’s fine, honey, she’s perfect,” Paul told his wife, unsure of the words himself. “She is beautiful, and she’s waiting for a name.”

Anne took his words as the truth and nodded. “I…I...We never talked about names!” she wailed. Paul winced. “What does she look like?” Anne asked desperately. “What name would fit her?”

Desperately, Paul searched for a name. “Cady,” he said the first name that came to mind. “She looks like a Cady.”

“Okay,” Anne breathed. “And a middle name?”

“Um…” Paul thought. “How about Marie?”

“Marie?” Anne questioned. She though it over for a moment. “Yeah…Marie. Cady Marie.”

The minutes that passed seemed like an eternity to Anne and Paul, but finally their baby girl was being put into their arms. “You’re right,” Anne smiled. “She does look like a Cady.”

“I do believe that I should inform you of her conditions,” the doctor began. “She is fully healthy, except that her lungs are still weak from lack of development. If you restrict her from strenuous physical activity, she should live to see age eighteen.”


Eighteen Years Later
One week into college, and things were already going downhill. Her alarm, which was originally set for eight AM, went off at nine thirty. She had half an hour to get ready and get to her first class of the day, which just so happened to be across campus. She rushed around her tiny single dorm, roughly brushing her hair up into a ponytail, scraping some makeup on, and throwing on the first outfit she found. She reached into her refrigerator and pulled out a Nutty Bar. She shoved her books into her backpack, sending loose papers flying, and slipped on her shoes as she rushed out the door.

She raced across the almost completely deserted campus, hoping that she’d make it to class on time. Stepping inside the building, she heard the bell ring. She hoped to god that it was the release bell. Sure enough, she was instantly flooded with students leaving classes left and right. She walked down the hallway to the back of the school, where her first class was. Without looking, she walked through the doorway, and ran straight into someone considerably taller than herself. Cady herself was quite tall; five feet eleven inches to be exact. She looked up at the person she had ran into, who was at least six feet two inches tall with gorgeously curly blonde hair, and began apologizing profusely. “Hey, it’s okay,” he laughed, his dimples showing and instantly catching her attention.

She let out a nervous laugh as he walked around her and walked out of the room, still watching her and smiling. It took her a moment to get over her humiliation before she shook her head and sat down in her seat, ready for class.

The rest of her classes went smoothly, and after her final class, she walked slowly and happily back to her dorm. She dropped off her things and made her way down to one of the four dining halls on campus. Once she had gotten her dinner, a large plate of pasta, she made her way to one of the few empty tables left. She sighed as she wished she had the ability to make friends easily. Then again, she thought. Maybe my aunt was right. I should have signed up for a shared dorm. I would have met somebody. Seating herself at the table, she began eating, trying to ignore the few glances she was getting from upperclassmen.

She was half done with her dinner when she noticed somebody sit down beside her. She looked over to see who it was, and was quite surprised to see that it was the guy she had run into earlier. “Hi,” he said, smiling.

“Hi,” Cady replied, half embarrassed, half surprised.

“I’m Luke,” he said.

“I’m Cady,” she replied.

They were silent for a moment until Luke spoke up, “So, you were in kind of a hurry this morning, huh?” he asked.

She nodded. “My alarm didn’t go off,” she informed him.

He let out a laugh. “I figured that.” He paused before asking, “What year are you?”

“I’m a freshman,” she replied, embarrassed.

He raised his eyebrow as he looked her over. “You look older than that,” he observed. “How old are you?”

“Eighteen,” she told him. But before he could ask any more questions, she asked, “How old are you?”

“Twenty,” he replied.

“So you’re a sophomore?”

“Nope. I’m a junior. I’ll be twenty one in a few months,” he told her. “When do you turn nineteen?”

“Next month,” she replied.

They were silent again. She finished eating her food self-consciously, aware that he would sporadically turn and watch her. She drank down the rest of her milk and turned to him again. “So, have you gotten to see around town yet?” he asked.

She shook her head. “No, I haven’t actually had a chance to leave campus yet,” she admitted.

“That’s horrible,” he teased. “Come on.”

He stood up and waited for her to follow. She stood up nervously and followed him out of the dining hall. “Where are we going?” she asked.

“Just follow me,” he instructed.

He was walking straight towards the woods at the edge of campus. They wandered along the edge of the woods until they found a path leading inside of it. “We’re going in there?” she asked nervously.

“Yeah,” he replied. “Is that a problem?”

“Uh,” she said slowly, looking inside. “No. It’s fine.”

“Don’t worry,” he said, taking her hand and leading her into the trees. “We’ll be out of the woods before dark.”

She felt a little better as they ventured deeper and deeper into the woods. The leaves on the trees were beginning to turn colors, and many were already beginning to fall. The trees seemed to move on forever in front of them, but just as she was beginning to worry, they reached the other side. Stepping out into the clearing, she saw that they were on a hill. She looked out at the scenery and saw nothing but trees. Trees and the clear blue Mississippi River flowing in front of them. The sun was beginning to set behind the trees, and the colors that she was immersed within took her breath away. “It’s beautiful,” she said quietly.

“The best part of Winona,” he shrugged.

“How did you found out about this?” she asked, turning to him.

“What do you mean?” he questioned.

“Well, you don’t exactly look like the kind of guy that goes out looking for things like this.”

“I don’t look like it, no,” he said, walking nearer to the edge of the hill. “But I do. Sort of.”

“Sort of?”

“Well, I was looking for things to take pictures of. For my photography class, I mean,” he explained. “I was wandering around campus all day. I went through the woods, and I came across this. I took a picture, and a week later I had an A.”

Cady smiled. “Wow. Quite the story.”

He nodded. “So you like photography?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he replied, nodding. “I’m majoring in photojournalism.”

“How interesting,” she smiled, pulling her sleeves over her hands to keep warm.

They stood in silence for a few minutes until he turned around and began heading towards the woods. “Where are you going?” she asked.

“It’s getting dark,” he said. “I promised you we’d be out of the woods by dark.”

She nodded. “Besides,” he smiled. “There’s still more to see.”

Smiling, she followed him through the woods, a comfortable silence around them. When they reached the edge of the forest, it was already dark. They walked back towards the dorms. “Do you want to go inside and get a jacket?” he asked.

She nodded. “I’ll wait here,” he replied as she went into her building and up to her dormitory.

She picked up her jacket and purse and made her way back downstairs to Luke. “Ready to go?” he asked.

She nodded as she pulled her cell phone out of her purse and checked for messages. She had a voice mail. She listened to it as they climbed into Luke’s Impala. It was her friend Hannah from high school. One of their friends, Brandon, had died of a drug overdose and they were having a memorial service that night in Rochester, where he was going to school. She hung up the phone and turned to Luke. “What’s up?” he asked, seeing the saddened look on Cady’s face.

“A friend of mine from school died,” she said sadly, putting her phone back in her purse. “They’re having a memorial thing from like eight until midnight tonight. For his friends, you know? It’s in Rochester.”

“That’s not too far from here,” he said, starting the car. “And it’s just eight o’clock right now.”

She nodded. “Do you want to go to it?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she said softly, fighting back tears. “Yeah, I do.”

“Then why don’t you go do that,” he said softly. “I can show you around another night.”

“I can’t go,” she said, looking out the window.

“Why not?”

“I don’t have a car. My dad brought me here,” she explained.

“I’ll take you.”

“What?” she asked, her head snapping to face him.

“I’ll take you to his memorial service,” Luke repeated.

“Are you sure?” she asked. “I mean, we just met and…”

“I want to,” he said firmly. “I promise.”

She sighed. “Thanks,” she said quietly.

And with that, he pulled out of the parking lot and began the thirty minute trip to Rochester. They mainly rode in silence, the background radio the only source of sound until they got into town. “Where is it? At the school?” he asked.

“Yeah,” she said, seeing a brightly lit building in the distance.

They pulled into the parking lot, and Cady saw Hannah with her boyfriend Rick standing by the doorway. “You can come in with me, you know,” she said after getting out of the car and noticing Luke still sitting inside.

“Are you sure?” he asked. “This is your thing.”

“I…I want you to,” she said softly. “Please?”

He nodded and got out of the car. They walked up to the building where a group of six or seven people, including Hannah and Rick, were standing around and talking. A few of the people were smoking cigarettes. Cady desperately searched for another entrance, but couldn’t find one. As they got up to the door, she attempted to slip into the building quickly without breathing any of the smoke. “Hi, Cady,” Hannah said, walking up to her and giving her a hug.

“Hey,” Cady said, hugging her back.

Luke caught Hannah’s eye and she asked with a mischievous smile, “Who’s this?”

“Um, this is Luke,” Cady said quickly. “He goes to school with me.”

The guy to Cady’s left let out a puff of smoke right in front of her face. She started coughing violently. “Are you okay?” Hannah asked Cady.

Cady nodded and pointed to the door. “I’ll get something to drink,” she said between coughs.

They walked inside and when she got to the drinking fountain, she could hardly stand. She found moments between coughs to take sips of water. “Are you okay?” Luke asked.

Cady nodded and stood up, leaning against the wall. She was wheezing and trying to take in deep breaths. Luke watched her closely; unsure of what was going on. “Does this happen often?” he asked.

She looked at him and replied, “Only when I breathe in smoke.”

She let out a long, dry cough. He watched her every move. “What do you do when this happens?”

Cady looked at him. She didn’t want to tell him what usually happened. She didn’t want to scare him. But the look in her eyes must have given something away because in that instant, he took her hand and led her outside and back to the car. “What are you doing?” she asked between shallow breaths.

“Something isn’t right,” he said. “I’m taking you to the hospital.”

“I’m fine,” she pleaded. She didn’t want to go through this again.

“I don’t care what you say,” he replied. “This isn’t right and I can’t sit and watch you put up with this.”

So with that, he pulled out of the parking lot of the school and made his way to the hospital. He parked outside the emergency room and led her inside. Her breathing hadn’t improved much, and her coughing sounded more hoarse and painful. Walking up to the desk, he told the receptionist exactly what was happening. They sat Cady in a wheelchair and led her through a set of doors, a breathing mask on her face. Sighing, Luke sat on a chair in the waiting room. “Excuse me, sir,” a nurse said, approaching him. “Could you please fill out these forms for her?”

Nervously, Luke took the clipboard from her. “I’m only her friend from school. I hardly know any of this,” he said, looking over the questions they asked.

“Just fill it out to the best of your ability,” she said with a smile. “We can do the rest.”

Luke nodded and looked down at the paper. Name? Cady. That’s all he knew. Age? Eighteen, that was easy. Birthdate? Next month, he remembered. So he scribbled down October. Looking across the rest of the page, he realized that this would be much more difficult than he had expected. But then a thought struck him. She didn’t have her purse with her when they walked in. He stood up and rushed out to his car, and there, sure enough, was her purse, on the floor in front of the passenger seat. He picked it up and brought it inside. Hesitantly, he unzipped it and pulled out her wallet. Looking down at the form, he felt much more confident. Name? Cady Matthews. Birthdate? October 13th, 1989. He filled out a few more blanks before returning the clipboard to the nurse. “Are there any family members or friends we should call?” she asked.

“Uh…” Luke thought this question over carefully. “Why don’t we wait and leave that up to her.”

“Okay,” the nurse smiled. “When she’s taken care of we’ll let you know so you can visit.”

“Thank you,” he replied, and returned to his chair in the waiting room.

Time seemed to drag on forever until finally the nurse approached him. “She’s doing much better now,” she informed him. “I’ll show you where her room is.”

Luke nodded and followed her through a series of corridors to her room. He walked inside to see Cady lying on the bed, looking harassed. “Hey,” he said, sitting in the chair next to her.

“Hi,” she said quietly.

“What happened?” he asked. “Did they tell you why it happened?”

She bit her lip and looked down at her lap. “It’s…it’s happened to me for as long as I can remember,” she admitted quietly.

“What do you mean?” he questioned.

Biting back tears, she swallowed and began to explain. “Well, when I was born, things went wrong. I was premature, by a month or so. I’ve had lung problems ever since then. Smoke irritates them, if I breathe in dust or dirt or anything like that I have the same problem. I guess I’ve just learned how to live with it. It’s been years since this has happened,” she sighed. “I thought I had finally gotten away from these problems. Grown out of them, you know? But I guess not.”

“Hey,” he said softly, reaching out and turning her to face him. “There is nothing to be ashamed of. You can’t help this, and I understand that.”

“It gets worse,” she said, interrupting him and turning away yet again.

“How so?” he asked.

“Each time it happens, my lungs get weaker and weaker. They said that I would probably need constant air by age thirty. Or that I’ll die.” She let out a sarcastic laugh. “Then again, they told me I wouldn’t reach eighteen.”

“You have, though,” he said firmly. “You have, and you’re almost nineteen. You’re strong, Cady. Don’t let this get you down.”

“How can I not?” she asked. “I’ve had to act differently my whole life because of this! I couldn’t be in sports, I couldn’t be in band, I couldn’t dance, I couldn’t do anything! I’ve been sheltered my entire life because of this! And now, I won’t even get a full life. It’s not fair.” Her voice softened as she continued, “And the worst part is, it has ruined every relationship I’ve ever been in. I get up the nerve to tell him, and as soon as I do, he leaves me.” After realizing what she had said, she said quickly, “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean to put you through this.” She sighed. “I…”

She turned to look at him, and was surprised by his expression. It wasn’t that of anger or sadness, it was almost…happy. “No, no, I’m glad you told me,” he said softly. He reached over and held her hand in his. “And…I’m sorry about what you’ve had to go through. I can’t imagine that feeling. And those guys…well, they don’t know what they’re missing.”

Cady watched Luke carefully. “We just met today,” she whispered.

“I…well, don’t laugh, okay? But, it feels like I’ve known you forever,” he said, just as softly.

She looked at him incredulously. “Really?” she asked.

He nodded, nervously awaiting her reaction. “I’m glad,” she said softly, a small smile spreading across her face. “Because I feel the exact same way.”

He smiled and leant over to kiss her forehead. “I promise I won’t leave you,” he said, looking her in the eyes.

Cady’s mind began reeling. She hated those words. She hated hearing people make her promises. They never kept their promises. Nobody ever did. But somehow, deep down, she knew she didn’t have to worry. Deep down she knew that Luke would keep his promise. And the things she didn’t know yet were the things that would help her live longer. But they weren’t important at the moment. All that mattered to either of them was the space closing between their faces, and the rush of emotions that both were feeling. Cady’s eyes fluttered closed as their lips met, and for once, Cady was happy. No worries, no precautions, just pure bliss.

Luke pulled out of the kiss and smoothed her hair. “You should get some rest,” he whispered. “You’ll need it. Tomorrow is a full day out on the town.”

They smiled as they remembered the plans they had made, and then later broken. She rested back on her bed and looked at the clock. “Visiting hours have been over for three hours,” she laughed.

He shrugged and replied, “I guess I’ll just have to stay here, won’t I?”

She nodded as he looked around the room. Nothing but the chair he was sitting in. “What kind of hospital is this?” he questioned sarcastically. “Nowhere for me to sleep?”

Cady scooted over on her bed. “Yes there is,” she said, smiling. She patted the bed next to her. “You can sleep right here.”

He raised his eyebrow. “Are you sure?”

“Positive,” she replied.

Luke lay down on her bed, and Cady cuddled up to him instantly. Her head on his shoulder, she was asleep within minutes. With one last final look at her, Luke was taken by sleep as well.


Epilogue
Four years later, Cady and I got married, right there in that park overlooking the trees and the Mississippi River, the beautiful sunset and trees the background of all of our pictures. She looked beautiful, and was happier than I’ve ever seen her. She had problems on and off that year, and we were told she wouldn’t make it. But she made it through, and the next year, we had our baby girl. Lauren was born completely healthy, no complications, lung or otherwise. She looks like her mother in every way, and we couldn’t have been happier.

The next spring, when Cady was twenty-six, she had complications again. This time, they got worse than they ever had, but she pushed through. She was carrying our second child at the time. That spring, Cady went into labor and gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, Carter. But this time, she couldn’t hold on. She passed away shortly after having him. Now Carter is two, and I know that Cady would be proud of both of her children. They are beautiful and intelligent, and have grown up knowing who their mother is and what she was like.

I don’t even know if I have fully registered the loss of Cady. I think about her all the time, and I always talk about her to the kids and to my friends. She is the reason for everything I do, and I live each and every day for her. She was such a strong woman, and when I am alone at night, lying in bed, I can almost feel her lying with me, the way we did that night in the hospital. And when I feel that, I know that it’s real. Our love was the kind of love that you only have once in a lifetime. The kind you only read about in novels. And although she isn’t with me in body, she will be with me in mind. And that will always be enough for me.