"The Devil's Delight" excerpt

The following is a selection from my screenplay “The Devil’s Delight,” which features a pair of ironic tales, each with a twist ending. Episode One, “A Coward's Way Out,” is about a rakish British cavalryman whose misadventures begin when he abandons his duty on the battlefield rather than face an almost certain death. But the price he is asked to pay is very high, with chilling results for all of the parties involved.

EXT. BATTLEFIELD (SHMECKHEIM) – DAY

A squadron of British cavalry hastily form ranks and check their guns as a military band plays. The cavalrymen wait tensely until the music ends, then spur their horses prancing ahead.

At the base of a fortified hill TORN by enemy fire, the horsemen halt behind a nervous company of British infantry.

In the last rank of the cavalry, CORPORAL NATE MACMURDO, a rakish but common-sensical Scot, turns to the camera and grimaces as if to say “this is pure INSANITY.”

JUMP CUT:

The company of infantry bravely CHARGE at the hilltop French position, where a battery of artillery waits behind a rampart.

Suddenly, the French guns FIRE, sending dozens of foot soldiers SCREAMING to the ground.

NATE in voice over (V.O.): To those who have never fought in battle or seen at first hand the unfathomable horror of senseless slaughter, the waging of war must seem like a glorious thing. But to those who have served, war is unrivaled for its brutality and cruelty by any other of mankind’s pursuits.

MONTAGE of the burnt and blackened battlefield, of the dead and dying on both sides.

NATE (V.O.) (with gallows irony): In the history books, the Battle of Shmeckheim is recorded as a great and glorious victory of the Duke of Hardwicke, but, oh, at what a cost in brave men dead!

Nate roughly pulls his gelding about, causing the horse to WHINNEY and REAR.

His spurs draw blood and the gelding springs to the gallop, headed for the rear.

NATE (V.O.): Many others were glad to lay down their lives for Queen and country, but I saw no purpose to it, neither being vainglorious nor an Englishman, but a soldier of fortune.

Nate and horse leap a hedgerow into a field with no enemy in sight. Staying close to the tree line they rapidly gallop away.

NATE (V.O.): I freely own that I deserted to save my life, but I leave it to you to judge whether I am not as much deserving of your pity as your scorn.

LIEUTENANT EDWARD DOUGLAS sees Nate flee and curses him for a coward. A blood and thunder martinet, he thinks of chasing after his subordinate, but, hearing the enemy guns FIRE again, instead he rallies his men with a fierce yell and a flourish of the saber.

DOUGLAS: Dismount!

The cavalrymen dismount, armed with muskets.

JUMP CUT:

Leaving their horses behind, the squadron CHARGES up the hill on foot, the French guns FIRE and many men are cut down.

CLOSE UP: Douglas lies wounded beneath a dead comrade, with a hole torn in his shoulder. His lips form a silent oath.

INT. CHATEAU HALL – DAY

Beneath the grand staircase, MADAME MACMURDO, a vulgarly beautiful Frenchwoman, and her three small children cling to Nate miserably, weeping and pleading with him while a pair of guards coldly look on.

Nate KISSES his wife long and affectionately pets his three children.

NATE (whispering to his wife): The banknotes are in a sack under the floorboards beneath the bed. Afterwards, take the children and move far away from here.

Mme. MacMurdo suddenly BURSTS into tears and so do the children. Mme. MacMurdo EMBRACES Nate tightly and KISSES him again.

The guards force Nate away from his wife and march him to a doorway, where BARON BELLWETHER, diplomat and decadent man of pleasure, has been watching with much interest. He steps out of the way as the guards escort Nate through the door.

The Baron continues to watch the Madame and she returns his gaze with a forlorn hope tinged by despair. He smiles reassuringly and exits through the door.

INT. CHATEAU BALLROOM – DAY

The Baron closes the door behind him.

A summary court martial has convened amid the splendor where once Louis XIV visited and held court.

The commission of officers, including Lieutenant Douglas in bandages and with a crutch, sit at a large gilded secretary to judge and sentence MacMurdo (to death).

A few spectators – aristocrats by their dress – somberly watch the proceedings from the back of the room.

Nate stands at attention staring straight ahead while answering the commission’s questions. Douglas dissects him with his acid eyes and tongue.

DOUGLAS: Did I give any bloody order to retreat?

NATE: No, Lieutenant.

DOUGLAS: Then you must explain to my fellow officers why you shamed me by abandoning your bloody duty!

NATE: How many British soldiers had already fallen before the French guns?

DOUGLAS (hotly): I will ask the questions. Answer straightforwardly.

NATE: I did not wish to sacrifice my life.

DOUGLAS: Better to sacrifice yourself than to show yourself a bloody coward in the face of the enemy! Was the blood of your comrades shed in vain?

Douglas waits for an answer but Nate hasn’t got one.

DOUGLAS: Is there nothing you can say to mitigate the offense? You stand in peril for your life. We usually hang cowards and traitors!

NATE: I throw myself upon the mercy of this court, Lieutenant Douglas. I have a wife and three children and am their only support.

DOUGLAS: My Lord, the Duke of Hardwicke, has a family, as does every one of my fellow officers here. But none of us has failed so miserably in his duty to the Queen!

Douglas waves to Baron Bellwether in the back of the room. The Baron steps forward.

BARON BELLWETHER: May I address the court?

OFFICER NO. 1: Of course, Baron Bellwether, please come join us.

Bellwether joins the officers, and they all turn away from the accused to parlay in whispers. There is some confusion and some consternation, but then nodding of heads and agreement. Douglas unhappily turns to Nate.

DOUGLAS: I deeply regret to say that the Baron has persuaded the court to be lenient with you, Corporal MacMurdo. (choking) You are to treat him as your benefactor.

Nate breathes an immense sigh of relief.

EXT. CHATEAU – DAY

With Douglas and another officer at his side, Nate sadly embraces his tearful wife and children good-bye.

MME. MACMURDO: Oh, Nate!

Nate gives his wife one last kiss, then stands rigidly at attention as she and the children quickly join Baron Bellwether by his coach.

The impatient Baron helps Mme. MacMurdo and her children into the coach.

NATE (V.O.): At first blush, it seemed like an incredible stroke of luck!

Still in tears, Mme. MacMurdo and her children wave to Nate from the coach windows.

MME. MACMURDO: Good-bye, Nate!

LITTLE GIRL: Come and see us soon, Daddy!

His eyes brimming with lust, Bellwether turns back to look at Nate, then quickly withdraws from his pocket a purse, which he throws to him.

Lieutenant Douglas snatches the bag from Nate, opens it and sees that it is filled with gold guineas. He hands it back reluctantly, then whispers in Nate’s ear.

Nate calls out as the Baron boards his coach.

NATE (reluctantly): God bless Baron Bellwether!

The coach quickly circles an ornamental garden, then exits up a long colonnade of trees.

NATE (V.O.): The reason of my escape from the gallows was that Baron Bellwether had suddenly conceived a deep admiration for Mme. MacMurdo, my wife, and he had agreed to pay a ransom for my life in exchange for taking her as his mistress.

Lieutenant Douglas takes a tight grip on Nate’s arm and spits angrily.

NATE (V.O.): I have much reason to suspect that Lieutenant Douglas may have suggested the idea to the Baron and that he also profited personally from the arrangement.

DOUGLAS: You are a very lucky man to have so attractive a wife! She has saved your bloody arse, she has! But you’re not out of the bloody fire yet! No, I’m not bloody done with you yet, MacMurdo!

INT. BARON’S COACH – DAY

Mme. MacMurdo affects a coy smile as the florid faced Baron edges closer to her, laughing lecherously.

She puts up a hand and lightly tries to ward him away.

MME. MACMURDO: You must know how grateful I am to you for saving my husband’s life, Baron Bellwether, yet as a married woman there are limits to what gratitude I may show you.

BARON BELLWETHER: Come come, my dear, what loyalty do you owe to a man whose cowardice very nearly exposed you and your children to the misery and uncertainty of a life without a protector?

In spite of herself, Mme. MacMurdo blushes; she can’t help but feel the justice of such a question.

MME. MACMURDO: You put me in a very difficult position.

The Baron takes her hand and places it upon his chest.

BARON BELLWETHER: Do you feel it? My heart is pounding!

The two little girls seem wide-eyed with wonder, while their brother, TIM, is on the verge of tears.

TIM: Mummy, stop him!

Mme. MacMurdo leans forward, and wipes Tim’s face with a hanky.

MME. MACMURDO: There.

The Baron cups her breast and forces her back upon the bench.

BARON BELLWETHER: Hah! This is mete revenge for your cowardly husband’s thoughtlessness!

He continues to fondle her, causing the Madame to MOAN, while little Tim BURSTS into tears.

EXT. COUNTRY ROAD – DAY

The coach bounces heavily as the driver whips the team into a canter.

NATE (V.O.): Grateful to have found so beautiful a mistress, the Baron was to show me his generosity again and again, making me wealthy in spite of my misfortune — still, I soon became miserable thinking of my wife in the arms of another man. I desperately wanted to take her back.

EXT. BATTLEFIELD (RAMBOVILLE) – DAY

The British are preparing a cavalry charge at the French guns.

NATE (V.O.): But first, I had to come to terms with the arrogant Lieutenant Douglas. The opportunity soon presented itself, at the famous Battle of Ramboville.

Douglas, one arm still in a bandage, and Nate are in front of the other riders.

DOUGLAS: You will prove yourself today, MacMurdo, or I will have your guts for garters!

Douglas slaps the flat of his saber on the rump of MacMurdo’s horse and the gelding leaps ahead.

DOUGLAS (to all the men): Charge!

With Nate in the lead, the entire squadron recklessly RACES forward.

The French guns FIRE, and cannon shells EXPLODE everywhere around the British cavalrymen.

Douglas sees it is hopeless and HALTS the advance with a YELL.

DOUGLAS (to all the men): Retreat!

All the men save one obey: Nate GALLOPS straight at a French gun, FIRING his musket.

A French artilleryman is HIT and falls.

Nate drops his musket on its sling, and DRAWS his saber.

The French gun FIRES again, too late to stop Nate as his horse LEAPS the barricade into the artillery pit.

Nate’s saber CUTS right and left; a FRENCH SERGEANT holds up his sword and Nate SLICES his arm right off. The sergeant tries to grab Nate with his good hand, and Nate SLICES the other arm off too.

The horrified sergeant falls to the ground.

Fleeing with the rest of his squadron, Lieutenant Douglas for an instant turns and regards Nate with envy verging on outrage.

NATE (V.O.): Lieutenant Douglas had meant to sacrifice my life to the honor of the regiment. He was shocked to find instead that I had singlehandedly dealt the French artillery their first deadly blow of the day!

Emboldened by Nate’s bravery, Lieutenant Douglas HALTS the squadron’s retreat.

Meanwhile, a squad of French foot soldiers CHASE after Nate.

Nate’s horse LEAPS the French barricade again, and he RACES away with the bewildered Frenchmen uselessly FIRING their weapons after him.

Nate rejoins his squadron just ahead of a deadly SALVO of French cannon fire.

He prances his horse over to Lieutenant Douglas and leers at him vindictively.

DOUGLAS: Damn your eyes!

JUMP CUT:

Nate’s squadron has regrouped with the other squadrons of cavalry in the regiment, all of them GALLOPING toward the French guns together.

The gallant leader on a tall white charger, is the DUKE OF HARDWICKE, with his flashing saber blazing the way.

Lieutenant Douglas rides next to Nate, a hand on one of the reins to Nate’s horse.

DOUGLAS: Try to restrain yourself this time! Make damned well sure that you stay behind both me and the Duke.

Suddenly the French guns FIRE and the Duke RACES ahead.

Excited, Douglas drops the rein to Nate’s horse.

Nate draws his saber and digs in his spurs, making his horse FLY forward.

He RACES past Lieutenant Douglas, then RACES past the Duke.

Far ahead of all the others, Nate LEAPS the French barricades again; he nearly FALLS as he CUTS DOWN a pair of French Guards.

Nate’s comrades, including the Duke, LEAP the barricades after him.

The British fight SAVAGELY, putting most of the enemy to rout.

For an instant, Lieutenant Douglas regards Nate with grudging admiration, then he YELLS with rage.

DOUGLAS: MacMurdo!

DISSOLVE TO:

EXT. CHATEAU – DAY

Lieutenant Douglas and two other officers wait irritably.

DOUGLAS: Damn that bugger, MacMurdo, isn’t he a great hero to make me wait for him like a fool? Bloody hell, I’ll be lucky if the Duke doesn’t punish me for what I do to him now!

Nate arrives on foot in civilian dress carrying a military portmanteau, which he drops at the feet of the officers.

NATE: My uniforms, decorations and personal arms.

DOUGLAS: Surely you had no thought that I would change my mind and let you remain with the Regiment?

NATE: Yes, I had every hope that my valorous actions upon the battlefield might restore your good opinion of me.

The Lieutenant appeals to his fellow officers with a sardonic grin.

DOUGLAS: Think you’re a gallant daredevil now don’t you? And think I should forget how you shamed me before?

NATE (V.O.): In spite of my ferocity, for which some have credited the victory of that day, my standing with the Lieutenant was irreparably damaged. Perhaps it was jealousy on his part, but he could no more forgive me my present courage than he could excuse my former cowardice.

DOUGLAS: It would take more than a single stroke of compelled valor to erase the black stain upon your name! Do you care to know how much more?

NATE (exasperated): What more can I do than I have already done?

DOUGLAS (enraged): Impudent –

NATE (interrupting): I am content to leave the service since that is obviously the only thing that will satisfy you.

DOUGLAS (satisfied): You bloody hypocrite! You are still a coward!

* * * *

Poor Nate can’t be right for being wrong. Both he and his wife have further harrowing misadventures before they are finally reunited, with just a little bit of help from the Devil himself. Even Satan likes a happy ending!

If you enjoyed this excerpt and are a motion picture industry professional who would like to read a full-length screenplay written by me, please write to [e-mail].