Mental Care

A person can be taught many things by instructors on how to physically care for someone. But the mental care some patients need can only be learned by hands on experience.

When someone is caring for a person that is having mental difficulties, their first response would be to argue about it. But one must remember the person with the problem believes the situation they are in.

For example:
I once took care of a man in my Adult Foster care home. In the middle of the night one night I could hear his wife yelling at him to get back into bed. When her pleadings’ didn’t work I got up and went to their room. I knocked and open their door to find the husband lying on his back on the floor beside the bed with his arms up in the air, and his hands where working away at something.
When, I asked him, “What he was doing?”
He replied, “His car wouldn’t start and he had to get it fixed. Because he had to get the papers deliver.”
You see George had delivered the Oregonian most of his life. I could have argued with him and told him, George you have no Car get back in bed. But doing that would not have solved his problem. As George believed his problem was really happening. So instead I took a deep breath, thought for a moment and then stepped in to his world. I knelt down beside him and looked at his hardworking hands.
Then looked at him and told him, “George its three in the morning there is no way you’re going to get this car fixed tonight.”
He just looked at me and said, “I have to, the papers will be late.”
So I stayed calm and I told him, “I would call people and tell them you’re having car problems. And that you will get them their papers as soon as possible.”
He said, “I guess that will work.” And just got up, Climbed back in bed and that ordeal was over.
There was no recollection about the situation on his part at the breakfast table and I seen no reason to bring it up. I just handled the situation as it came, Rolled with the flow Sort of Speak. And then let it go, No sense in dwelling on something that was long forgotten By George.

Then there was the time when I was taking one of my residence to the doctor, everything was going fine. Elva and I where heading home. and I drove past the street her house used to be on and she just went off.
Screaming, “You’re kidnapping Me, Your kidnapping me. I live up that road.” She was swinging her arms and hitting me while I was trying to drive. I could see the fright in her eyes. I just stayed calm, and put my hand on her arm and explain to her that she no longer lived there. Of course she did not believe me, but I kept my voice calm and told her,
“We were going home and that when we pulled into the driveway she would remember she lived with me now in a care home.”
She was crying and asking, “Why, Why are you kidnapping me”? I continued driving and calmly explained the people at the care home were waiting for us to get home. She calmed down and held my hand the rest of the way home.
When I pulled into the driveway Elva said, “Oh I do live here, I remember.” and apologized for the way she acted.
I told her, “that it was OK She just got confused.”
Once we got into the house of course it was all forgotten.

I think the hardiest situation I ever dealt with, was when I was an assistant manager and at small locked up psychiatry unit. It was a nice day and the residents were outside in the fenced yard. Sue walked upon Fred and Kathy kissing. Sue automatically started hitting on them calling them names.
You see sue thought that Fred was her husband and that she had just caught him cheating on her. She was furious. It took five caregivers and me to get her off him. But once we did I got her convinced to go to her room with me, so we could talk about it. Once in her room she sat on her bed and just cried. I just held her and let her cry, and agreed with her that some man where just that way. I went into her world at that moment and became her friend. Then I started trying to change the subject to redirect Sue, but nothing would work.
So I told her, “I was going to go get us something to drink.” But instead I brought us back some ice cream. She started eating and began to talk about her Kids. So I took the opportunity to ask questions about her children. By the time the ice cream was gone she had totally forgotten what brought us to her room in the first place.

Sue’s problem took me over an hour to get under control. I just remained calm, and stayed with her in her world until the problem was over.

So you see anyone can learn how to take care of the elderly and disabled physically. But emotional and mental care one can only teach themselves through hands on experience.