Zucchini Mania

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It was an an itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny
silver striped green zucchini.
While we slumbered, what went wrong?
Overnight it's two feet long!

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Zucchini in Perpetuity

In hiding, obscured by the jungle-y green,
Carefully guarded by prickly stalks,
Lurks the giantic zucchini machine,
The curse and the bane of the gardner who balks.

Years of experience helped him to know
Soon as the blossom catches his eye
There’ll be no “patiently watching them grow.”
You have to act fast or they’ll spit in your eye.

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A Hot Day in the Garden
(Sing to the tune of "Laredo")

As I walked out through the plot of zucchini,
I stopped in the garden to "set me a spell."
I saw a young squashy down in the green leafry,
I reached out and touched it: it was hotter than hell.

So while I was settin' out there in the garden
Surrounded by zukes big around as my head,
I thought,They'll be too tough for steamin' or fryin'
but I could feed China with zucchini bread.

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What? A day without a zucchini poem?
Nope. This'll have to do:

Taking a look at the local scores today, we see that the Zukes have beat the Cukes 20 to 0. A complete shutout! Well, Cukes, it looks like this year you just don't have it in you. Better luck next year.
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You wanna hear a ghost story?

S Q U A S H


Well, one dark night, in the middle of the garden,
I can hardly bear to say it but, a - gasp! Squash
Got together with a gourd.
Now...I’m not saying if it was a crookneck or not,
But all’s I know is...
The progeny...
Of this miscegeny...
Was pimply.
And it rattled.
And you could hang in on your arm.

Bet you’ll think of... that
some dark night...
when you go out to the garden
to pick vegetables!

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Play me the "Jaws" intro please...
...just when you thought it was safe to go back in the garden again...

The giant, flesh-eating zucchini,
or so my children say,
is on the loose in the garden.
They're not going back today.

What's more, they swear they'll never,
eat it ever again any more.
You never can tell the trouble you're in
when you let it in the door.