where is peace?

If silence is golden then what is noise? If silence is golden then why do you get lonely and wish for noise? Noise, what is noise? In times of confusion noise can be the pin pulled from the grenade. Silence, it can kill some of us. I'm one of them. Silence makes you think unwillingly. Silence takes your mind against your will and makes you feel like shit. My stomach has hurt for two days now and i feel like i'm going to throw up. Indegestion it seems like but it won't go away. My nerves are damn near shot and i scream all day but nothing ever comes out. But what is supposed to come out? If something comes out everyone will either look at me crazy or start crying. YEE HAW, crying, are we tired of crying or what? I am.
Do we baby ourselves into a shell of pussyness afraid of life? To an extent we all are, but when you cannot take a step without a group of supporters to push you how can you call that living?
Shall we have a smoke? What do you prefer? An exotic blend? Money, power, fame? The antichrist in the flesh. Christ, who's that? I do wonder myself. Am i a bad person if i don't pray? Am i going to hell for not believing? Hell, you telling me it gets worse than this. Does it hurt as much and then leave you feeling empty? What exactly is jesus christ? A lucky rabbits foot for the poor? i don't know if i can subscribe to that belief. I don't think that i can be judged by my life when it didn't come with a manual. Are we taught what to believe or told what to believe? Have you ever said that you don't believe and then watched for a lightning bolt? i'd like to go to sleep but i can't, you see my mind won't quit hurting, i close my eyes and open them without feeling any better. What does it take to feel better? Can we spiritually feel better without god? Can we feel better without silence? Can we just feel better?