Humble Pie through a hospital straw

Here follows a review of 'From the Maracana to Battersea Park' the latest film release from the maverick 'sound theory films' stable. The film can be seen at www.youtube.com - search 'maracana battersea'. Please let me know your thoughts on both the content and my style......

Humble Pie through a straw.

Question - what do the following have in common with Sound Theory Films? The set list of a Meat Loaf concert. A night out at London's legendary 'The Norbury' night spot. Dominoes pizza.
Answer - The punters are always served up exactly what they came for - hits, thrills and sated appettites. "From Maracana to Battersea Park" delivers on all these fronts, and then some. Punters will definitely go home satisfied.

Questions have hung over Director Ian Clark. After blazing the brightest of trails with his early films Clark's star waned like a North Korean missile splashing into the pacific wih his last release 'Let's Roll'. Fans of Clark, who include this particuar author, considered Lets Roll destined for cult status but some obersevers dismissed it as little more than a self indulgent 'in joke.' Like the music genius of John Squire, the comic vim of Steve Martin or the Jamie Oliver Sainsburys adverts, whispers in the film industry wondered if Clark's creative well had run dry. The young director has given the doubters a slap round the face with this sports classic - no make that a kick in the balls.

'Maracana' certainly has Clark's trademarks stamped all over it. An artists eye for a picture - tick. The wit and wisdom worthy of an ageing sexploring lothario - tick. A cricket umpires attention to detail - tick. This film delivers, but it is a movie that contains so much more. Clark has added extra strings to his bow. This is a film that dances to a tune played not on his old battered 6 string but on a brand spanking new 12 stringer Richenbacker. The most inspired aspect of Clark's film-making is however his brave and bold casting.

Dispensing with the use of meticulously trained actors, or indeed gifted footballers, Clark has astudiously avoided the pitfalls of forerunners to 'Maracana' - Escape to Victry and Jossie's Giants. Armed only with a handful of Worthers Originals and contracts offering nothing more than a shot at glory and immortality Clark wandered the streets of Londn and Hampshire determined to unearth new stars. It was a move that pays dividends. Not since Little Ze and friends starred in City of God has a film been so illuminated by a cast of newcomers. It must have taken many agonising nights of cheap beers and patats bravas in sun dappled Spanish squares for Clark to narrow down the field - and how grateful we are for that.

Most noteworthy is the character of 'Hayes' played by a tramp of Greek extraction - dismissed by the likes Cowell, Walsh and Tord Grip it is inconcievable that this method actor could have slipped through so many talent spotting nets. How Clark persuaded a renouned South London gigalo, and sex pest, to take on the role of 'La Gato' is never likely to be revealed. Rumours persist that such was the danger to his reputation it was insurers who insisted that La Gato's livelihood should be protected by a cricket box.

Director Cark recently featured in the tabloid gossip pages after a spat in the Ivy with Heat magazine's TV critic Boyd Hilton. Eye witnesses, who included TVs Ali McCoist, reported that Clark lunged at the balding Hilton with a fork screaming 'how dare you question my originality!'. On this showing there is no doubt Hilton will now be sucking up liquidized Humble Pie through a hospital straw. Having said that one can't escape the suspicion that Clark finds it difficult not to mine the rich seam of his DVD collection. In particular it is the personality of 'The Gaffer' for whom Clark surely owes a debt of gratitude to such characters as Ridley Scott's Gladiator, Happy Days' Fonzy and the always sage and wise Wilson from the hilarious Tim Allen comedy 'Home Improvement.'

Niggles persist that a combination of a girlfriend with 'come hither' eyes eager for afternoons of siestas, sweet loving and cream cakes in tandem with Clark's jet set lifestyle have curtailed the length of this feature. In his defence Clark has claimed that he did not want to confuse the narrative of this tale. This does engender a slightly 'cheated' feeling on the part of those present at Battersea who were familiar with the moments of high drama (think Steve Rigny's bone breaking tackles) of studied tranquility (think the measured composure of Libero 'Joe') and tragedy (think the ongoing struggle to regain Logie's waistline). Clark shouldn't be castigated for this, under pressure as he was from cinema owners fans will be placated to know that the ever generous Clark will be adding these cutting room floor extracts to the 'extras' section of the DVD release of 'Maracana.'

Reports claim that preview audiences for 'Maracana' left the cinema imbued with a sense of the anti-climatic after this golden generation of players fell short of their destinies by crashing out at the semi final stages. The years of commitment by these heroes warranted something greater but as with war, in sport there can only be one winner. Nevertheless this is not a story of despair. On the contrary 'Maracana' proves itself to be so much deeper than a 'falling short' lament. In a film that glitters with gems the diamond that shines brightest and longest in the memory is that known as 'Steve'. Steve provides the pounding heartbeat of this emotional film. Just as viewers have always wished that Robin, not Batman, could administer the knock out blow or that the younger Chuckle Brother Barry could deliver the episode closing punchlines, Steve is emasculated by the straight-jacket he longs to be freed from. Despite unseen forces and voices compelling him to play a disciplined supporting role Steve heroically defies his oppressors to snatch a timeless moment of triumph that will inspire 'sidekicks' for generations to come.

Forget the SeaHorses, the remake of Pink Panther and the Naked Chef's rocket and lobster ciabattas, 'From Maracana to Battersea' proves that Sound Theory films are here to stay. The creative well is brimming over. Let's just hope that the still recovering Steve Rigby isn't in the next hospital bed to Boyd Hilton - that is of course unless Maverick film-maker Clark is at hand with a camera. A boxing film is surely the next step for this genius.

Recommended. Currently showing on Utube.

SJH 'The Gaffer' Muxloe.