diary of todd grutten

The year is 1794 and we have been on this blasted ship for 6 weeks. The foods bad, the waters salty and all the other convicts smell. Except Jamos, he’s been a great friend to me throughout this voyage. I think I’ll go and hit him on the back, he he he, got him. Ow, he got me back, he’s going down, I just bit him, then he stopped getting me back. We’re about to spike the guards’ drinks with 2-week-old rat droppings, this is the 3rd time we’ve done it, they’re getting suspicious. Oh my god, Jamos just pulled up a floorboard and found Ned Kellys secret drug stash! We’re
gettin’ high.
Whoa, that was some night last night, except the drugs, they were bogus when Jamos and me found out, we were so mad. We busted out of the ship and flew to Tasmania where we released all of the prisoners. Then we flew back to the boat but found that it had sunk, Jamos and I knew that something had to be done, we swam down through the water, picked up the ship and swam to surface. Then we got back in the ship and repaired the hole. But I still can’t get over how bogus those drugs were. Oh no, those guards we poisoned died. At least 6 of them did, the rest had seizures. How weird, we slept in, its bedtime, well I’m not trying those drugs again, I might die. We’ll sell them on the island instead, but to whom? We released all the convicts. I know, the guards won’t be able to resist this much crack. I’ll tell Jamos in the morning
Oh my god, when I said we slept in I was severely underestimating the power of drugs gone off. We’re already there! We eagerly jumped off the ship and swam to land. The sunrise had the beauty of a thousand women and a thousand choc chip biscuits all put together. Jamos always tells me I have a way with words. And then it was all wiped away by the rumbling of the huge thunderclouds, which made the sun, look meek in comparison. I will never forget this storm, it was loud and scary and since the jailhouse was half way across the island we got rained on!!! And 6 of us got struck by lightning!!! Then they handcuffed me and sent me to… Hobart Town!!! But guess what, Jamos and I were cellmates; we were going to be sharing a tiny cramped room together for the next 60 or so years. This blows.
Dear journal, sorry I haven’t been writing you recently
I have been busy settling in to my new home. Really it’s not as bad as people make it sound, the food is pretty good for a jail, but we only get fed once a day. The farmers are coming to look for healthy strong men to work for them, me and Jamos have been working at the jail for quite some time now and we have developed powerful muscles, I hope they pick us, farmers aught to treat us a lot better than the jail warden does. He’s evil he is.
Well, it’s time for my plank-whittling shift. Goodbye.
The farmers are here, it’s our turn to be examined in 10 minutes, we’re so exited. They’re here!!! Wow that was an experience to remember, but all I know is that we’ve been picked, both of us! We leave tonight; I’ve got to pack so I’ll be going now.
Sorry, over the excitement I haven’t been writing you as much, but that’s going to change now. It’s been a few weeks now and we’ve finally settled in, but that must also change. We were going to do the unthinkable, the unspeakable and the undoable, we were going to murder the farmers and steal their money. Then we would escape through the bush to the eastern shores of the unknown. I’ll get back to you after the plan is carried out.
I will have to be frank with you as the guards are right behind me now, but I will do the best I can. Jamos and I were on our way to the house to ‘get refreshments’ and one of the farmers walked out from behind the barn and said, “and where’d you two be of to. To get refreshmen… I started, but Jamos had gotten scared, he started to blindly swing his sickle around and hit the farmer right in the eye, “who turned out the lights,” screamed the poor man. I decided to put him out of his misery, and then his partner came out from the bushes baring two shotguns and a pistol. He was about to shoot when suddenly Jamos had a burst of courage, he thrust himself at our opposer and started wildly slashing his chest, the rest is self-explanatory really. But in case you are a very stupid journal I will list what happened here

1. The farmer died.
2. We dragged him and his lost friend into the bushes.
3. We covered them with dirt.
4. We find out that Mr. Jud, the second farmer, had called the
Police.
5. We run.
6. We end up here, under a large rock.

Oh no, the Guards have found our hiding place, we’re doomed.
Wow that was some pitchfork use of mine; I got four of ‘em.
We have evaded the police long enough to get them off our scent so we can start escaping; it is now time for me to wake Jamos and tell him to get ready for a long hike across the island.
I just woke him. We have left for the beach and should be arriving soon, the bush is dense and thick, it will be almost unnavigable so I hope Jamos wasn’t lying when he said he had had lots of experience with bushwalking. This is just great, it turns out the only experience he’s had with hiking was in Egypt and not through bush. We are doomed.