The Green T-Shirt

The Green T-Shit
by Anna Clay

"I got you something.” he said, tossing a t-shirt in Maria’s lap. It was green and soft, and extra large. “I thought I was getting an extra, extra large.” He explained, setting down a large plastic bag, marked with the familiar red bull’s-eye.

“Oh, thanks.” Maria said. “I guess I can wear it around the house.” She laid the t-shirt beside her on the couch and went back to her crossword puzzle. It worried her a little that Eddie had been out shopping again. Maria kept herself on a strict budget, and she wished Eddie would too.

But she knew deep in her heart it was completely unreasonable to expect him to follow a budget like she did. Maria could go all week on a five dollar bill. She could make an entire meal from the simplest of ingredients. She only went shopping when her clothes were completely threadbare, and then only bought what was absolutely necessary. Maria had simply never learned to buy anything for herself.

Eddie, on the other hand, had no qualms about it. If he needed something, he bought it. So he was completely baffled by Maria’s austerity, and could not understand why she cared so little for her own needs. What was the point of them both working so hard, if they didn’t enjoy themselves?

Neither Eddie nor Maria, though, had any idea how deeply the resentment was burning. Like peat moss in the swamp, the heat from the embers beneath began creeping its way up. And though no flames were visible, it began to spread across the surface, until both Eddie and Maria were hot-stepping around the occasional outbursts. So when Eddie tossed that green t-shirt in Maria’s lap, he may as well have used gasoline to put out a campfire.

The next morning dawned gray and still, the air pregnant with rain and Maria’s mood was as dark as the sky. She got up and did what she always did when she was upset. She started cleaning. Furiously. Slamming and banging and throwing away anything that didn’t look important.

After a while, Eddie realized that all that clanging and banging was not the sound of Sunday morning breakfast, and he got up and poked his head into the kitchen. Maria was scrubbing a stain on the linoleum, muttering under her breath. And the harder she scrubbed that spot, the madder she seemed to get. Eddie, being practiced in the art of marriage, decided now would be a good time to catch up on the yard work and he headed out to mow the front lawn.

By now, Maria, still cleaning furiously, had made her way into the living room. She picked up three pair of shoes that belonged to Eddie and threw them in the closet. “Geez Louise,” she thought, “how many shoes can that man wear in one day?” That was when she saw the t-shirt, still lying on the couch. She looked at those brand new tennis shoes in the closet, and she looked at the brand new t-shirt on the couch. And suddenly she was as mad as all get out. She was so mad, she didn’t even care that she didn’t know why she was mad. She picked up that t-shirt, and at that moment, it represented everything wrong with the world.

She took that t-shirt, grabbed the lighter from the kitchen drawer and marched outside. She stood in the middle of the back yard, and holding the shirt high, lit the lighter underneath it. The shirt began to smoke and smolder and then caught fire. Maria dropped it on the ground and stirred it around with a stick, watching it burn. As she watched, all her anger burned away, curling into the gray sky.

A light breeze ruffled her hair, but Maria, intent on watching that t-shirt burn, paid it no mind. Suddenly a pile of pine straw at the edge of the grass began to smolder, and flared into a small flame. Maria ran over and tried to stomp it out, but she only scattered the sparks further. Soon, the entire pile of pine straw was ablaze with flames that were knee high, and spreading fast toward Eddie’s garage.

“Shoot, shoot,” Maria screamed over and over as she ran around in circles, waving her hands over her head, stomping on the flames. In a panic, she peeled off her shirt and tried to beat the flames back, but the breeze just fed the fire. Her brain shouted at her, ‘you idiot, you idiot,” making it impossible to think. The fire continued to spread across the pine straw, getting closer and closer to the garage.

Maria, now clad in nothing but a pair of shorts and a bra, ran back and forth across the yard in a frenzy. Suddenly, she went flying through the air, her feet kicking up behind her, and landed face down in the grass.

“What the heck?” She said, as she pulled herself up to a sitting position. That’s when she saw the water hose that she had just tripped over.

“Oh, good lord, I am such an idiot.” She thought, as she snatched up the hose and began to spray the flames. It took a few minutes, but finally she put the fire out.

Maria, weak and shaky, sank down in the wet grass. That’s when she realized she was almost naked, and suddenly the whole scene was just too bizarre. She started giggling and that seemed even funnier. She began to laugh hard now, and she couldn’t stop. She laughed until her guffaws turned into sobs. After a while, she got up and calmly walked into the house.

Eddie never did ask her about the shirt, nor did he ask her about the black spot in the back yard, and Maria never mentioned it to him. And though it gave her a sense of satisfaction, she also felt a little sad when she thought about burning that shirt. Truth be told, she really had liked that soft, green t-shirt.