Lesson #1 - Professional Writing

Every writer needs a kit full of tools and these tools often differ from writer to writer. My toolkit includes:

CALIBRATED EYEBALLS

Good writers are very observant. They see things others fail to detect such as humorous situations. For instance, have you had a tough time at work? If so, don't cry, wail, and pity yourself. Find a way to twist it into a story that will make people laugh. This exercise will not only give others a chuckle, but it will also make you feel better. Why cry about spilt milk when you can turn it into an essay before it turns sour.

STENO NOTEBOOKS

I always carry around a dozen or so steno notebooks. One of the greatest tragedies in the life of a writer is to come up with a good idea -- and forget it before you have written it down. At my age, timing is critical. I have a memory depository that I can store a mere thirteen seconds worth of stuff. Whatever doesn't get written down during that time-span gets lost and it never returns.

By the way, the reason I rely on steno notebooks is that they work well in a car. My computer won't function once I'm more than ten feet from my desk.

My den is full of steno notebooks. I've filled most of them while going for drives. When my wife takes over the wheel, I start to observe and record. Then, whenever I run out of ideas, or get writer's block, I refer to one of the notebooks.

If you get caught in no-man's land without a notebook, make do. As an example, I got the idea for "Holding Planet #1" while sitting in church. I didn't have a notebook, but I did have the church bulletin and a handful of pencils. By the time the sermon was over, I had a rough outline. By the following Tuesday, I had an award winning story. It placed first in a contest sponsored by the Denver Chapter of the National Writer's Association. Since then, I've sold three books and over fifty articles, stories, and/or essays.

ETC

By the way, "Holding Planet #1 explains my vision of the afterlife. The basic assumption is that one has to earn his or her way to their final resting place located on holding planet #9. I borrowed the basic concept from Buddhism although I'm sure no Buddhist would accept the gross modifications I made.

Always carry at least fifty-nine pens and/or pencils.

It's pretty obvious why I've established this rule. When I don't have a pencil or pen, I'm unable to record my thoughts. Pencils and pens are even more important than paper since you can write on a church bulletin or grocery sack. If you lack something to write with, however, you are stuck. I believe that it is illegal to write prose in blood.

My word count detector just went bananas. I promised myself that I'd try to limit my lessons to less than 500 words. Failure to do so would get me impeached. Therefore, I'll have to delay exposing the next batch of my "secrets" until next week. Lesson 2 will expose more suggestions and will come out next week. Same time and same place. Those who just can't wait that long might want to scan my writing.com web-site or look up Henry L. Lefevre on Google.

Hank14, alias mark_twain, alias Henry L. Lefevre
Author of "Quality Service Pays"