The Man Who Saved My Heart

The classic love story always begins with the couple meeting, falling in love, and then the rest is history. Well, my tale is not a classic, I guess, because when the love of my life finally found his way to me, I was already a single mother, working hard to raise two children, alone.

My first child was a present I recieved from God after having to endure being raped by a complete stranger. The second was the result of a relationship I entered foolishly thinking the guy really cared for me. When I ended up pregnant, he threw five hundred dollars in my face and told me to get rid of it. As far as he knows, I did. I put the money to good use and prepared myself to raise a second child on my own. Needless to say, my track record with men has never been very good.

When John and I met, we were both Nursing Assistants. I was in a relationship with someone else. That was fine, because he was married. He worked on the regular Nursing side, while I was an aide on the Alzheimers Unit. We barely knew each other, and never spoke.

One day, as often happens in Nursing Homes, we had only three aides. One for each pod. When there are seventy-something patients on the Unit, and you are responsible for taking care of at least twenty five of them, it makes you do things you might not normally do. I worked like a trouper for the first hour I was there. Then I sat down in the middle of the floor and cried. Residents were still in bed, breakfast was out, and I just couldn't take care of them all.

The D.O.N. (Director of Nursing) that we had at the time came and hugged me, and said, "Don't Worry. I'll get all of you help, Shiloh. I promise."

Good to her word, about twenty minutes later, she came back on the Unit with three aides from the other side. There he was. I had seen him before. He had cornflower blue eyes that took my breath away. His hair was light brown, thick and curly, and he had a nice friendly personality. But he was married. I knew he was off limits. Still, when he came and worked side-by-side with me, I felt a twinge of attraction that never would go away. Thanks to his agreeing to come work on my Unit, we struck up a friendship.

As much as I was attracted to him, Friendship was all I could allow myself to feel for him. I had bad enough luck with the men that were single, I wasn’t dare going to let myself yearn for a married man. We spoke to each other sometimes, smiled and waved in the halls. But that was all we ever did. When John got a divorce from his wife a year later, I was engaged to be married. The man I was with treated me well, and was good to my kids. I wasn’t in love with him, but I didn’t expect that I could do any better than that. Life went on.

My friend from work, John, dated a few women and went on with his life as well. He got a promotion and went from being a lowly CNA, to being part of Administration. He teased me every once in a while about my fiance. Asking me how Tilt o Whirl was doing, since I had met the man at a carnival.

Life was good. Then, I got pregnant. For almost three months, I was extremely happy. I had thought we’d have a wonderful life. Then I started spotting. My fiancé offered me words of encouragement and told me we would get through it together. I had thought I would spend the rest of my life with him. At least he cared enough to help me through what was quickly becoming a nightmare.

One day, he came home from work and told me he was going to go help a friend from work move a refrigerator. Time passed with no word. Two a.m. came and went and he still never returned. Scared and worried, I paced the house. I made a discovery that night. I found my childrens social security cards gone from the special place where I kept them. Also, money that I kept in that same place in case of emergency was also missing. I felt so completely stupid. Once again, I had shown the world what an idiot I was with the blind trust I offered people I thought I knew.

The next day, I went to the Dr to have her check on the twins because of the spotting. She couldn’t find the heartbeats. She told me that I needed to go home and rest. Right! Two days later I began bleeding heavier than any menstral cycle I had ever had. I woke my children up and walked them next door to my grandmother. Then I drove myself to the hospital. I found myself alone, in the emergency room, miscarrying innocents that never stood a chance.

I was out of work for nearly a month. When I finally got to come back to work, John didn't know what I had been through, didn't know that the father of the babies I had miscarried had deserted me. But, he once again, in his usual, friendly manner, asked me how Tilt o Whirl was.

I broke down crying. I told him what had happened. And how I had allowed myself once again to get screwed over by yet another man. I remember telling him I was cursed. That the only men that ever seemed to be interested in me were the kind that any woman with a brain would know better than to get involved with.

He had been so sweet. His response blew me away. He took me in his arms, hugged me and asked why I hadn't called him. "You shouldn't have been alone. I would have come to be with you."

That only made me cry that much harder. He told me that it was going to be okay. He became a great friend when I needed one. We talked constantly. He was always checking on me to see how I was.

One day, about four months later, he was talking to me and one of the other girls I worked with. We were planning on going out to a Karaoke Bar cause we loved to sing. He was surprised. He said, "I didn't know you could sing?"

I laughed. "Well, I am pretty good. I took a few years’ worth of lessons. If you're not doing anything tonight, why don't you come up?"

He nodded, "Okay, Maybe I will."

That night, he came, and he heard me sing for the first time. We visited, we laughed, and at the end of the night, he walked me out to my car. I unlocked the door and turned back to tell him good-night.

At that moment, something I had never expected to happen, did. He leaned down and kissed me. It was a sweet, gentle kiss. It was as if he was asking me with that kiss if he could have a chance to change my mind about ever taking a risk on anyone ever again.

I was too shocked to say anything when he finally told me bye, and went to his own car. I sat there, staring after him as he drove away. I had known from the moment that I had really started getting to know him that I liked him. I had known that he was a special person. But why hadn't I known that he looked at me in a romantic way? How did I miss that?

The next day at work, he asked me on a real date. I told him I didn't know if that was a good idea. He smiled and said, "Oh, come one. Don't turn me away without even giving me a chance to prove that not all of us men are jerks."

I smiled and nodded. "Okay. But if this starts to feel like a bad idea, then I'll call it quits before we have a chance to lose a perfectly good friendship."

"Deal." He agreed with a smile.

That date started a relationship that made me feel safe and secure for the first time in all of my dating life. We would spend all our free time together. I can't count the times we fell asleep with the phone to our ears.

Two weeks into it, he proposed. Once again, I was in shock. "You can't propose yet! We just started dating. It's too soon for anything like that." I tried to laugh it off as if he was joking.

He smiled and squeezed my hand. "It isn't to soon for me; I've loved you since that day when I came over to work with you. I knew, then and there, you were the one I'd been hoping for all of my life."

But, he did agree to slow down for me. We dated for another five months and I slowly began to realize that he wasn't like all those other jerks. I realized that he was someone that was a keeper, and that he really did love not just me, but my kids as well.

I asked him one night. "Remember that night when you asked me to marry you?"

He nodded. "Of course."

"Did you mean it?" I asked.

His eyes met and held mine. "With all of my heart."

My voice shook with my next question. "Is the offer still there?"

He reached out and took my hand in his. "It always will be."

I smiled and kissed him as gently on the lips as he had me that first time. "Then, I accept."

This coming September, we will be celebrating our sixth year anniversary. I love him more now than I did the night I told him yes. He is the best father I could have wished for my children to have. The bond they have with each other is as strong as any bond that any child could have with their biological father. We are truly a happy little family and I am indeed blessed.