i'm all alone and i'm thinking about the most beautiful girl in the entire world.. |
I will waste my words on you When they do not mean a thing I love you more than my actions While I lay here, my pain sings I cannot let you see how I hurt myself When I have to make my tears flow I cut away my bad parts... And I whisper to myself, "I am loved, I know..." I am only a ghost of the future You have never even met the real me The me that I become quietly But will my past ever set me free? Sometimes I feel I am out of control When I beg my happiness to stay the night I grab at her tired hand And she whispers, "Listen, you must not fight." I test my skin for the answer To how to feel alive, "The dead do not bleed" As this pain begins to dive... The past, it hurts so bad As the light blinds my eyes The person telling me it's okay Telling me all these lies... I keep telling myself I was just a kid But who was there to protect me then? I keep crying and saying to myself, "Why doesn't God let me try life again?" Did I understand what would happen, When I believed I found true love? I feel like I am hurting you And you are my only real gift from above How can I make you cry And pretend like it is okay? I would rather never see you again Then make you feel that way... I'm sorry that I'm weak... I can't help what this does to me I just want my one real chance with you But my thoughts won't hear my pleas I love you more than words More than the pain of my past But when I think of the future I'm always scared that I can't last... I won't last a day, a month, a year Without someone to take this all away And I'm trying to make you that person But I'm just causing you pain I am tired of the pain I cause I just want this all to go away I wonder what it's like to be normal And to not feel so betrayed... I feel like the luckiest person When I look into your eyes But I picked you and you didn't choose me And I know that I'm no prize I'm just another boy with problems Though I still love you all the same But when I have made you cry I ask myself, "Who is to blame?" Sometimes I still feel like you will leave me All alone when I need you most... Then I use my 11:11 wish Just so I'll never see your ghost... |