fury

I’m really sorry, but I don’t know why I say it when I really don’t mean it. I promise this time I mean it its not going to happen again quit bringing me to tears I’m under enough stress please save the fears understand your not the cause its everyone else that’s writing the laws to respect and understand one another is one thing, but to call me selfish is an entire different theory, I don’t mean to be mean I don’t mean to be nasty I spill my guts to you if you could give me a chance, I swamped in lies and really can’t think nothings going to work and I’m on the brink consiousness is killing me but I can’t lay to rest for the things going on are all inside my head on the inside I’m dying but I am not GOING TO BE CRYING when all things comedown to my issues inside me. You thoughts in your head will be for everyone to see, I can’t get a moment of any privacy, when I ask for space I don’t mean for you to leave me just keep your mouth shut so I can try to win the race your pulling me down deeper into the hole you’ve fallen into I’m sorry I can’t be there but I have my own life too

Family time is a tourterous thought if no one’s there what is the cause to sleep eat and argue together you people expect me to be here forever I’m not trying to evade you and I won’t leave in your sleep but the sun’s coming up and your wasting my ink I can’t read you mind I’m too fraught with worry I don’t mean to offend you but my time is my story don’t expect me to be there when you hit the ground I’ll be off and running without a sound I love you to death but I gotta live my life these family values will never end right you thing yelling screaming and scolding are enjoyable while I sit in my room with no light quit believeing that we may have the perfect family my instincts are telling me to keep someone else’s number handy I was stuck in life and you were never there I know you think this is a teen angst song but why would you care you kick me in the back on a spiked floor and stairs/ your life your living isn’t like mine I am sick of worrying about hiding my bodily crime I know you’re disguisted my scars never heal but on this inside this rage is getting hard to conceal I am sick in the head and scream out at night you think I’m better but I’m losing the fight I am trying not to give into all the temptation I might your worst fear you say is for me to go away which is sweet but meant in another way your afraid of what they may think so you put me on pills and close your eyes and think that maybe I’ll be better maybe it’ll go away but its chasing me down and standing in the way you don’t want to accept the fact I was troubled and may not’ve stayed if it wasn’t for someone else to keep me from bleeding away. To that someone I owe my life to in your mind you think is you, but never again will I tell you this today cause the pills are going to comeout and I will never be awake.

I take a deep breath and remove to my room where the hell begins and I start to think soon I’ll be there in my spot razor in my hand killing all my thoughts my fears inside me trap me in such a way I gnaw at the fury to keep me at bay its and addiction of hurt an addiction of pain this life I’m living isn’t going to gain I can’t trust but one, and trust is hidden inside emotional thinking about ending my life but I swear I won’t do it my enemies will smirk so fuck off your going to end up hating the fact you were a jerk I won’t hurt over this cause its an easy way out so I suck it up and try to hide all my doubt god I love you and thanks for being there, your that but one that trust I can share please help me in this time of hurt and fury get over myself and not be unworthy I swear I won’t become another teenage statistic and I swear to you god I’m not gonna die cause I couldn’t get through this tough time in your eyes I’m perfect just the way I am and opions of others are unimportant spam parents don’t worry your daughters still alive cause she knows the fucks in hell will be laughing if she purposly dies this life she has means too much to her to end it all in a second I made a promise to God to never do this unless bekoned and that hasn’t occered yet I will not go I’m going to live this life and run my own show I’m going to get this thing and never end my life cause love means more when you’re still alive