Ramblings Of a Frustrated Youth

It's not fair, I have, yet again, become beaten by something I relied on.
Myself.
Yes, this talentless young being that is standing before you. It has conquered me.

Everything used to be so easy. It was natural instinct. Talent was limitless and ideas swam so freely in my head. And now, nothing.

(it all just stopped and froze)

So what did I do wrong? Why must I pay the dues of a failure?

If failing is the quickest way out, show me the way. Point me to the nearest exit.

I'm out. I have suceeded in defeating my worst enemy.
and I am done. and I'll always be done if you leave me now. Everything so empty, so vacant and... gone.

I CANNOT FORCE MYSELF TO FUNCTION CORRECTLY.
( I am too weak) i will become spineless, and lonely.

I'm giving up my dreams for you. I hope you realize what you've done to me. Yes, yes, I enjoy being with you. I didn't think I'd have to give this up, though.
You are not worth it, you do not even speak.


My brain has weakened because of you. Somedays I feel there is nothing left. I feel like you have taken it all.
(too bad it doesn't matter)

I think my brain has been infested with these consuming thoughts that havetaken over just as termite do. They gather in swarms, devouring the foundation.
and the funny thing is,
You don't even know it's happening... until your house collapses.
(too late now)

It's life in general. The termites are each little reminders that I am alive and that life is coming, coming quickl.
(Infested with gnawing, biting, destroying little bugs)

You are my biggest regret and my best friend. I cannot stand you, nor go on without you. Get out of my life. Get out of my lungs, I need to breathe now. Let me catch my breath, and then we'll talk.
If you promise not to get upset.