gone forever

I ran across the beach, with the wind in my hair, in perfect harmony with my curves. The water on my feet felt so cold yet so comforting. The black sand didn’t reflect the sun and the papers flying free were throwing my past away. I still felt the sweet flavor of that last kiss in my lips. I’ll never forget the disappointing dark blue of his eyes holding secrets to make things easy. In the tip of my tongue so many words crying for freedom. And I ran. I ran like a mother to her crying baby, like a cat to his milk, like the way he ran away from me before. I was so aware of everything around me for the first time. I finally had woken up from the life I had before him. All that mattered was him. I was given up on everything, I didn’t care how much I had messed it up. It was all going with the wind and I was ready to raise my wings. I than climbed that rock, struggling against me. I cried of happiness and despair, feeling energy all over my senses, pushing me towards him. Has I reached the top, expecting my prize, he wasn’t there. He’d been gone already. He was away from me. Nothing mattered to me at that point. I faced the horizon, the sun was going away, even the tears were gone away. I felt this emptiness inside, a lack of thoughts and feelings. As I was dropping on my knees, someone pulled me up. All I could hear was the wind against my dress. He looked at me, straight into my eyes, and I felt that that moment would last forever. A paper flew above us. He quickly reached it, wrinkled and let it fly with the wind. The sea roared underneath us calling for him. He than hold me tight and said: “I would never go away without saying goodbye”. “Goodbye?”, I asked. He shushed me, kissed gently the tip of my nose. I grabbed him with all my strength and he said calmly “everything will turned out just fine” and let go of me, smiled so peacefully and jumped. I stood there. I just stood there, watching the sea, feeling my heart breaking so slowly. A tear rolled down my face and I screamed: “I am not saying goodbye!”. So desperate, lost, confused, I jumped. And than I woke up. He is gone away and there’s nothing I can do. If only I had the courage to really jump like he had. I guess some day I’ll stop dreaming about it and I’ll ran to his arms forever.