Jeremy sticks his neck out

Jeremy, for a pink giraffe, was amazingly boring. One would think, considering that he was both pink, and to more of an extent, a giraffe, that there would be a story to tell, but no. That was all people would ever remark on when visiting him at the 'British Ecological zoo for oddly shaped or coloured animals', otherwise known as BEZOSCA.

'Gee,' They'd say (some would swear, but most said 'gee') 'That giraffe is awfully pink isn't it. For a giraffe anyway.' And in general people would agree.

They held no interest in his unique collection of novelty spoons, and were even less impressed with his knowledge of the history of calculators, so, all in all, despite being a pink giraffe, Jeremy was quite dull.

And this was why, late one hot, steamy Friday afternoon, after 5 days of being gawped at and generally working hard at being pink, Jermemy decided that it was time to perhaps find a new role in life. A new challenge, something that would stretch him more than neck and colour-wise. A fresh start.

And so, as the sun clung to the zoo like cellophane over sweaty cheese, Jeremy stepped over the realitively low walls, his legs bowing in the middle like damaged stilts and made his way out into the City of London.

You would think (unless you don't) that the sight of this lumpering, let's face it, slightly camp creature would have caused quite a stir as it trundled pass Victoria station, his head bobbing up and down like a yo-yo on a spring, but no. The streams of people, hot within the wrappings of their suits acting as though there was nothing to see.

Some never peeled their gaze from the floor, tracing the patterns of brown chewing gum dissolving in the heat. Others almost slithered through the crowds, miraculously avoiding everyone else, as though rolling in a bubble. Three people actually bumped into him, banging their heads on his knees. Only one apologized and in a language that Jeremy didn't understand.

It seems that in London, individuality is accepted, or perhaps, closer to the truth, most simply didn't escape their own internal world enough to see.

But then, just as Jeremy considered turning back, returning to the safety of his old home, among the other creatures such as the long-legged toad, and the featherless bird spider, which were never his friends ever since they got drunk on newt milk at the christmas party and laughed at the crush he had on Sally-Anne the bald stick insect, something happened.

There was a scream, a cry for help, one that only Jeremy seemed to hear. He stopped and slowly revolved his shoe shaped head to spot what the problem was, and then gasped.

'Gasp,' He said.

There, on the other side of the road, Jeremy spied a woman leaning from a top floor window as smoke puffed past her in an attempt to blot out the sun. She was screaming for help.

'Help!'

Without a moment's thought for his own safety, Jeremy leaned towards the window and bowed his head.

'Climb on' He told the terrified lady, but she didn't understand, on account of her not being either a giraffe or fluent in giraffe. So Jeremy twisted his face and gently lifted her from the window. The lady seized her yells and patted his large, pink horns as he placed her delicately onto the pavement.

No one else saw a thing.

'Thankyou' Said the lady. Jeremy smiled but you couldn't tell. 'I'll tell you what, why don't you come with me? I live in a big house in the country, with trees, grass and hills. It'll be just like living in the wild except colder and you're pink. What do you think?'

Jeremy considered the woman's words for a moment and thought, I don't understand a ruddy word this people thing is saying. And so, with that he gave her a lick, Sluuuuuuuuuuuuuuurp, and went home.

Nobody realised that he was gone. But he really didn't care!