Caitriona, part one

************Caitriona*************
Every morning, I was awakened first by the sunlight through my window, then the merry sounds of the warriors with their swords on the practice fields. My father, King Eochan, would already be awake and with them; my mother had died two years before. I would walk over to my best friend Ceridwen’s house, next to ours, and talk to her while we made bread.

Conor, her brother, was one of the warriors; two years older than Ceridwen and I, he was our constant companion- when he was not on duty, he was with us, acting as a bodyguard and a friend. Some days we would steal into the woods, where he would teach us swordsmanship and wrestling among the dancing patterns of shade and sunshine on the forest floor.

Our caer was a happy one, wealthy, on the Maridunum side of Mor Hafran across from Llyonesse. We raised cattle as well as having many fisherman and very prosperous weirs, so we never lacked in food or goods.

Oh, we were happy, but the new-crowned king of Gaul threw a shadow across our happy sun.

“Caitriona,” My father said to me one late morning when I walked into the hall, “there is a letter for you here.” He handed me a piece of paper sealed with a wax seal I did not know. I broke the seal and read it.

“Aedd is a liar!” I cried. “A strong alliance for Yr Widdfa- a strong alliance for you and land to boot, you mean, Aedd MacCaenan!” I looked up to my father, who was watching me both with bemusement and with a little anger. The anger, I knew, was for Aedd, not me. “He asks my hand in marriage!” I exclaimed. “Can you believe it? Of all the arrogance! Can he think I am so stupid?”

My father just smiled. “What will you tell him? The messenger is waiting for your answer.”
“I will tell him no, of course. I would be foolish to give our land and our people over to a power-mongering tyrant king. He shall have to find himself another queen.”
*********************

One morning months later, like every morning, I was fully awakened by the clash of sword on sword and the clamor of the war band. But added to that was the sound of splitting timber, cries of pain, cries of panic. I threw aside the oxide at the door and froze in anguish. A most horrifying sight met my eyes: Gaulish raiders, killing everyone in their path, stopping only to torch houses and taunt those they deemed little worth their time.

“My fault,” I moaned. “It is my fault... if I had not turned him down...” Aloud I cried, “Aedd MacCaenan, you will regret the day you were born!”

In a fury I snatched a cloak and my sword from beside my bed and sprinted to Ceridwen’s house. To my alarm, I found instead Conor kneeling on the floor, head in hands.

“Conor!” I gasped and ran to his side, forcing myself to remain calm. “Conor, what is wrong? Where is Ceridwen?” Through his tunic, damp with sweat, I could feel him trembling. “Conor, are you well?”

Conor rocked back onto his heels, one hand on his forehead. “I'm fine, Cait, don't worry. I just got knocked on the head.”

I pried his hand away to look at his injury, but he pushed me off, gently and urgently.

“I came in here because I heard Ceri,” he explained worriedly. “I heard a yell and ran in here, but she was gone. They took her!” Conor stood then, adding emphasis to his anger.

“Caitriona, you should not even be here. Grab a horse and ride away before they find you.”

But I had already strapped my blade to my hip. “No, Conor, I am going with you.” Conor shook his head emphatically. “You must-”

I cut him off. “I’m going.”

He rubbed his forehead and sighed. “All right. Cait, stay close.” We clasped hands tightly, for courage, then joined the fury of battle in search of Ceridwen.

Twenty minutes later there was still so sign of her, and the only chance of escape from the destruction around us was to flee. My sword brother and I cut a path through the howling invaders to the pasture. One warrior, tall, muscular, and streaked with war paint, stood in front of me. I raised my sword and warded him off long enough for Conor to come to my rescue, giving him a slash on the shoulder.

As expected, the stock had been herded away, but two horses had been left behind. One wore a bridle and one a halter and rope, which had gotten snagged on the fence and kept them too fixed to move- a result of the surprise attack. These two we took, vaulting onto their backs after untangling them, and drove them away from the caer and carnage. I rode with sword drawn, both to fend off attackers and because I could not put it away as it was. My once beautiful blade, used only in practice, was now a dripping weapon and my only safeguard.

Conor’s big mare was obviously the dominant of the two, and I willingly let mine follow her. We were going at a speed to beat the wind already. Two miles from our caer was the sea; in our panicked haste, we reached the beach in what seemed like a breath. Conor reined his mare to a sliding halt and leaped off, and his mount dashed off down the shoreline. My mare squealed and pulled away to follow her; I held her still and tried to get off but she whinnied, bucked, and spun, and I flew onto the ground and into a black void.

I vaguely sensed a voice, a touch; floating, and a rocking. Then nothing.

I awoke, drenched and immobile with almost numbing cold, drifting just yards from shore in a little dinghy. Willing myself to move, I sat up and rubbed life back into my limbs before climbing out and wading to shore.

And yet, not my shore. Not the familiar flat coastline of Ardnurchar, but a wilder, stonier shore. And I was alone.

At that point, I could hardly think. All I wanted was for the sickening knot in my stomach to go away- how long had it been since I had eaten?- and to get warm and dry again. Then I could think about how to get home. I almost cried with relief when I found flint on the beach; my hands shook so that I could hardly hold it, but I managed to light a smoky fire with as much driftwood as I could find.

I dried off my wet, salty mantle, cloak, and belt, sitting in my shift next to the fire, then put on my dry mantle and set my shift next to the heat. Once all my clothes were dry, a few hours later, I was considerably warmer but still famished. I gave attention to my surroundings.

It was May and the late spring sun was growing warm- that lifted my spirits a bit. With the sunlight making clear the green grass and and the sheen of weathered rock and, I discovered thankfully, a path through the weald that edged the beach, I began to feel better than I had sitting wet in the boat offshore.

But I could not go far without food. Where on a rocky beach in an unknown wood could one weaponless girl get enough food to reach the next caer?

Perhaps not completely weaponless. Where my belt had dried next to the fire, I caught the glint of steel, and never was I more happy for a dagger in my life! Besides, I reminded myself, shaking my head, I knew how to find edible plants in a wood. My exorbitant hunger was making me inattentive.

Replacing my dagger at my belt, I ventured into the weald, walking slowly to find food. Within an hour, I had found several roots, a few mushrooms, and a small brooke of fresh water. I ate what I had found, then set about making a rabbit trap of sorts. Conor had taught Ceridwen and I how to make them one day in the woods near Ardnurchar.

I was lucky- I went away to explore, and came back a few hours later with a small rabbit in my trap, which I took to my fire pit. Once again I made a fire, bringing enough wood from the weald for my meal, and spitted my catch across it.

That satisfied me for the time, and I decided to sleep by my fire until the next morning, when I would look for the nearest caer. I gathered enough wood to last me all night and settled down to sleep, wrapped in my cloak.

I awoke to clear, blue skies and a rumbling stomach, so I found more food and then set off for the next caer.

Soon I stopped for water, at the brooke that I had found the day before. I had knelt down to take a drink when I heard a dull thudding behind me, on the road I had just left. I sat up and crept slowly toward the track, where the noise came from. As I got got closer, I almost laughed aloud; it was a horse and rider ambling along the path, on the opposite side of the weald I had searched for hours the previous day, looking for the caer. I might have been upset with myself, but at least I knew now that there was nothing for a good while in the opposite direction.

Taking a deep breath, I stepped boldly onto the road. The rider, a tall, broad-shouldered man with sun-streaked dark hair and a sword at his hip, reined in his horse and nodded to me.

He spoke to me in words which I did not understand, though they were close enough to my own tongue that I understood he was saying hello. I shook my head. “I don’t understand. Do you speak Latin? Or Cymric?”

The man raised his eyebrows. “Cymric?” he asked.

I nodded. “I am from Ardnurchar, in Yr Widdfa. I drifted ashore in a small boat, escaping from raiders.”

The man- a warrior, I guessed, from his clothes and manner- smiled and shook his head in disbelief. “Yr Widdfa? You are a far way from home. This is Derwedd."

“Derwedd?” I realized how many days I must have drifted along the coast of Mor Hafran to be so far from Yr Widdfa. “I have been without food since Ardnurchar- can you tell me where I could get some?”

The warrior walked his horse over to me. “I have some bread here,” he told me, “and I could give you a ride back to my caer where you can get more. My horse will carry us both.”

I was just about to agree when a loud crack sounded from the wood behind us. His mount started and reared, knocking me sideways. I stood up just as his heavily muscled rump swung around and for the second time since leaving home I was knocked senseless by a horse.

I awoke, once again, in a strange place, leaning against a wall in an unfamiliar house. This time I was not alone. The warrior sat across from me. He held half a loaf of bread in his hand, and offered it to me when he saw that I was awake. I thanked him and ate the whole piece; bread had never tasted as good as it did then, hungry as I was.

“I am sorry my horse hurt you,” the warrior said. “Are you well?”

I did a mental appraisal and found that I had only a slight headache. “I am fine, thank you,” I told him.

“What are you called?” he asked, handing me a cup.

“My name is Caitriona,” I answered cautiously. “What is yours?”

The man regarded me with mild amusement. “My name is Maelwys.” He waited as I drank the water he had given me and then took the cup.

“I am indebted to you for helping me,” I told Maelwys. “Thank you. Now perhaps I could speak to your lord- I need to find a way to get home.”

Maelwys crossed his arms across his broad chest. “You can stay right here, if you please.”

“I don’t think that-”

“You have no choice in the matter,” Maelwys said. I made as if to stand, and only then did I realize that I was tied fast to the wall by a rope around each of my upper arms. My hand went to my belt.

“Looking for this?” Amiable Maelwys had suddenly acquired a dangerous edge. He twirled my gilt- edged dagger in his fingers. “Couldn’t have you leave, now could I? You don't even know where you are. Anything could happen out there."

“You speak Cymric well all of a sudden,” I observed hotly. “My caer was ransacked and my kin scattered when we were attacked by raiders. You’ll get no ransom! Let me go.”

“I know you were attacked- I was in Caer Legionis staying with my cousin’s family. I was one of the raiding party that attacked Ardnurchar, and I saw you flee with your valiant friend. You will not leave until I let you leave. I tell you, it is a bad idea.”

“My friends are gone, and it is your fault,” I snarled.

“But you are not, and it is for me to keep you until they fetch you. You are not in such a bad position- I know who you are, and I am not going to kill you."

"I would rather die than stay here peacefully!" I spat.

Maelwys ignored me. “I’ll be back later.” He stood and left, my dagger tucked in his belt.

I sat huddled against the wall, and prayed desperately.When I had calmed down, I sat contemplating how to get out. My dagger was stolen, my sword lost. I would have to undo the knots that held me with only my hands.

Very quickly I discovered why my captor had not bothered to keep the knots out of reach- they would be nearly impossible to untie without a pair of strong hands or a knife; the knots were too low on my arms to reach with both hands so I had only one to use. After a long time pulling, panting, straining, and working the ropes, I fell asleep, exhausted.

I awoke to footsteps and a touch at my side and opened my eyes to see Maelwys crouching next to me, knife in hand. Startled, I jerked away, but Maelwys grabbed my arm. “Hold still, or I might cut you instead of the ropes,” He scolded mildly.

I frowned suspiciously. “Why are you letting me loose?”

He stopped cutting for a moment. “You don’t like being tied up, do you?”

“No, but-”

“Well, then, I am taking them off.” He resumed his work and then a moment later I was free.

“You are filthy,” he said, not unkindly, “and your clothes are rags. Stay here a moment- and I will know if you try to leave.” He pulled aside an oxide curtain in the corner and stepped into what appeared to be a makeshift bedroom, reappearing presently with a bundle which he dumped in my lap. “There’s water in that pitcher, and in the basin next to in. You get cleaned up; I’ll be outside.” Maelwys strode out.

I stood and stretched stiffly, then stole a glance out the door to see where Maelwys was. He sat whittling a piece of wood near the corner of the house, so I went back, washed, and changed; I had been given a rag for washing, a comb, and a shift, mantle, and belt. They fit surprisingly well and I wondered why a lone warrior had women’s clothes in a chest in his house.

I returned the pitcher to its place next to the basin, folded my dirty things and stepped outside to dump the basin’s dirty water.

Maelwys stood and crossed his arms warningly. I glared at him. “I was just going to dump the water. Besides, you’ve no right to keep me jailed up like this!”

“Perhaps none that you know.” The warrior’s arms remained crossed and the corner of his mouth turned up in a satisfied smile. “I was right,” he said, pleased. “You are better clean, after all. You look like a decent human again.”

I let his remark pass. “Where do I dump this?”

“Behind the house.”

I dumped the water and walked back, startled by a loud whistle. “Oi, Drew! Drew, come here!”

A few seconds later, a big, shaggy, black dog came bounding over. “This is Drew,” Maelwys said, indicating the dog, who was wiggling happily from nose to tail and licking his master’s hands. “You are not afraid of dogs, are you?”

I fondled the shepherd’s soft ears, not looking at his owner. “I had a dog.”

“Good,” Maelwys said. “Drew, guard. Caitriona,” he added warningly, “don’t leave the caer, or you won’t like him anymore.”

Great, Lord, I thought, now I’m even a dog’s captive. But at least the dog would be nice if I stayed where I was supposed to. I had no assurance that the warrior would do the same.

I followed the dog and his owner back into the house and, fingering my mantle, I let curiosity get the better of me. “Where did you get these clothes? You’re not married, I take it.”

A shadow crossed the young man’s eyes but it passed quickly and he answered me, a little sadly. “There was a fever epidemic a few years ago. My mother, sister and I got sick. I survived, but they did not. The clothes belonged to my sister.”

“I am sorry,” I said quietly. “My mother had the fever as well. She was strong, but not strong enough, and my father and I could not save her.”

Both of us stood lost in memory for a moment and then Maelwys broke the silence. “We had better get supper now or it will be gone.”

The hall was huge, even larger than the one I had left, and displayed easy wealth. It was well- built and handsome, the walls lined with spears and decorated shields. The man who sat at the head of the warrior’s table on a fur- lined chair was undoubtedly the king, a gold torc at his neck and a cloak edged in gold thread on his wide shoulders. Maelwys paid his respects and spoke quietly to the king for a moment. The king glanced at me and nodded, smiling slightly. I inclined my head in deference and waited for Maelwys to come get me.

He did, and pulled me around the other side of the table, where two of his friends slid over to make room and greeted him raucously. “Hail, brother! Eat up, we ride tomorrow.”

“I know,” Maelwys laughed. “I told you that this morning.”

“All the same,” His friend shrugged. “Here, lady, I'll get you something to eat.” He returned a moment later with a full plate, making me laugh in spite of myself. “I cannot eat all that.”

“Maelwys will help you,” he grinned. “Not only is he the best warrior in Caledon, he is the best eater. We have to hide some food from him in order to eat!”

Maelwys shoved the man amiably and rolled his eyes, turning to me. “Don’t listen to Alector. He’s just jealous.”

I gave him a half- hearted smile and bent my head to pray before my meal. When I lifted it up again a moment later, Alector, Maelwys’s dark- haired friend, was watching me hopefully. “Who were you praying to?” He asked me.

I was taken aback. “Christ,” I told him. “The true God.”

“It is as I hoped!” He crowed, then leaned over to me confidentially. “The others, there- they think I’m touched in the head for being a Christian. But I have been praying for someone else to come along, another Christian.”

I frowned thoughtfully. “How did you become a Christian, if no one else is?”

Alector winked. “I did not say that no one is. My father is a Christian- he lives in Caer Londinium.”

“Really? Why do you live here now, then?”
He motioned to Maelwys. “He’s my best friend. I came to be part of his warband- there’s no better warrior, not in all Caledon, like I said. And no better friend.”

“His warband? He’s the war-leader?” I stared in surprise.

“He didn’t tell you? He’s a strange one, that fellow. Aye, he’s our leader.”

Next to me, Maelwys had heard something funny and burst out laughing. His laughter was so hilarious that tears ran down his face. The sight of my warrior-captor in mirthful tears was a sight to behold and I found myself laughing almost as hard as he was, especially when ale started coming out his nose, he had been trying so hard not to spit it out.

Maelwys gave me a sideways glance, eyes twinkling, though he was still trying not to spit all his ale out. I shook my head, grinning despite myself at the sight he made.

“Where’d you find that girl, Maelwys?” Another of his friends grinned. “She’s a match for you, all right. Look at the two of you going on over nothing!”

Maelwys had calmed down enough to talk by now, having managed to swallow his ale. “Her name’s Caitriona. She’s from Ardnurchar. She’s staying with me until her family can fetch her back.”

“By the saints!” Alector exclaimed suddenly. “You’re Eochan’s daughter, aren’t you!”

I dropped my food and stared at him. “How did you know that? How did you know Eochan?”

“Didn’t Maelwys tell you? What has he told you, lass? He and I grew up in Caer Meldryn- three days’ ride from Ardnurchar, I’m sure you know that. When he made a visit to Eochan on behalf of his father, on his way back here, I went with him. It wasn’t three years ago, and I remember you, I’m sure I do.”

I wasn’t laughing now. I stood angrily and stormed from the hall- If Maelwys wanted to talk to me, he could find me. And he’d better do it before I made up my mind to kill him for his treachery. I didn’t go far- slumped against the wooden walls of the hall, I sat trying not to cry.

“Caitriona.” Maelwys called once and waited for me to answer. When I was silent, he came and found me.

“I didn’t gain your father’s trust and then turn and attack him, if that’s what you’re thinking.” He stood before me, arms crossed, impassive. “I was raised by my uncle for some few years, until I was sent to Mor Effren, and when Sarras raided Ardnurchar, I was there in Londinium with a string of horses that my uncle bought from my father. My cousin told me that there was a cattle- raid and asked me to go with, saying I could show off the horses I had brought. Since your warband stole half their cattle last year, I didn’t have much trouble agreeing to go with.”

I fumed, hating every fiber of his being, though I knew it was wrong. “That was no cattle raid. That was Aedd mac Caenan’s revenge on what was to be my land in years to come. He has loyalties all over Britain. ”

“Why would the new-crowned king of Gaul want revenge on a Cymric king’s daughter?”

I sighed heavily. “I refused his offer of marriage. Which was not an offer, but a demand, and Aedd took my refusal- which was backed by my father- as disdainful of his kingship.” I paused, thinking that I should have seen the attack coming. “Ardnurchar was not the first caer ransacked. It was only part of the retaliation; he offered my father several wealthy villages of his to my father in return for my hand, and thought to inspire remorse by destroying ours.”

Maelwys glanced back at the firelit hall, brooding. “Then I was much deceived. I am more sorry than I can say, Caitriona. Had I known Sarras and I were merely an instrument of revenge I would not have gone- but news is not so swift to spread across the sea, and I knew little of Aedd’s pillage.”

“You ought not to have agreed to sack a village you had no grudge against,” I snapped. “We do not steal cattle and if we had it still would not give you reason to kill men!”

Maelwys did not rouse at my sharp words but shook his head calmly. “I had to be there in case such as thing happened- in case it was not really a cattle raid, after all, or got out of hand.”

He was waiting for a response. “Why?” I snarled through gritted teeth.

“Because I owed it to your father to save you. Our fathers were good friends and, in fact, I would have been raised in your family if not for my demanding uncle’s wishes. I knew that anyone who recognized you would hold you for ransom, so when I finally found you, I followed you to the beach.”

The blue-tattooed whorls and knots on Maelwys’s face and arms glinted in the moonlight and suddenly a picture sprang to my mind- a tall warrior tattooed and streaked in blue war- paint and standing in my path. Instinctively I reached up and touched his shoulder. “I cut you,” I murmured, feeling the still- healing wound. “You were the one who refused to let me pass.”

“Your warriors got to you before I could get you away. I managed to get to the water’s edge, where you lay on the ground. Your valiant friend was fending off other members of Sarras’s warband and so I put you in a boat, intending to get both he and I into it when it was safe. Neither of us made it, obviously- I had to shove it off and let you go, but couldn’t get in without being killed first.”

“Conor,” I whispered. The fight had left me and in its place was immeasurable grief. “What happened to Conor?”

“Your friend?” Maelwys sighed. “I don’t know. After the last attacker was taken care of I rejoined my cousin’s band and left. I looked for him on the way out but I didn’t see him. ”

I hardly dared to ask my last question. “And... my father?”

Maelwys didn’t answer right away. He looked at the ground, his jaw working. “He died,” he told me, voice painfully quiet. “Died fighting. You should have seen him, he was a valorous warrior- it was too many opponents, not lack of skill, that overcame him. I am truly sorry. I wished I could have helped him.”

I buried my face in my hands and wept. “He can’t be gone,” I sobbed. “Not my father. I loved him so. Ceri, Conor, Mari, Lewis- they can’t all be gone. They can’t.”

I cried long and hard, until breathing hurt and I had no more tears left to cry. Then I sat in the dark trying to accept my loss. I felt Maelwys drape his cloak over me and realized that I was cold and shivering.

I stood, taking Maelwys’ offered hand, and allowed him to lead me back to the house. I looked at him and saw tears tracks glistening on his face in the pale light.

“Maelwys,” I began uncomfortably, “Forgive me, please. I had no idea. I thought you were using me and my family.”

“Of course you did- I should have told you sooner. It would have helped, to be sure. I didn’t want you to mistrust me as you would have if I’d obviously recognized you when you found me today, or if you had recognized me, hence the Island dialect. Some of our people came from far north and brought the tongue with them- Cymric-based but different. I thought if I spoke Cymric you might recognize me sooner. I also didn’t want you try to escape- obviously someone wanted you, dead or alive. You’ll rule Ardnurchar and all it’s people someday and Aedd is determined to stop that.”

“Ardnurchar is gone, all my people scattered or lost. Nobody was supposed to know who I was. I thought I was protected if I hid my nobility.”

“You would have been until someone recognized you, as Alector did.”

“How long will you keep me here? What kind of friendship compelled you to try to save me and my father- and why do you continue to help me? Whether or not I die won’t affect you. You’re not Cymric, and you didn’t even know me. Now Aedd will be your enemy as well until one of you is dead. ”

He raked his fingers through his hair, searching for the right words. “You know that it’s the custom for king’s sons to be brought up by other noble families? So that they can learn more than one way of things, and form alliances? My father is the king of Caledon. He grew up in Ardnurchar and was your father’s shadow from the moment he arrived- they were inseparable for twelve years. Then I lived in Mor Effren, with my father’s friend’s family, until four years ago.”

That caught my attention. “You’re Cernach’s son?”

Maelwys nodded. “So you see, because I grew up in a part of Llogres, I am a Roman Celt in a way. And I knew your father, though not as well as I could have hoped. I am doing it for my father’s friend, I suppose. Does that answer enough?”

I nodded, overcome. “You don’t have to, you know,” I whispered.

“I want to.” He was sincere, a sober expression on his weary face.

After I had washed the tears away at the house, Maelwys handed me some blankets. “I’ll be up before dawn, so you’d better get to sleep. I may wake you. And please- don’t try to leave.”

I pointed out his dog, who hadn’t left my side since we’d returned to the house. “I don’t think I could, even if I wanted to. And besides- I wouldn’t leave now, not after what you’ve done. You saved my life at the risk of your own.”

He smiled slightly. “Sleep well, then.”

Maelwys was, as he said, up before dawn. I awoke to footsteps and sat up. “I’m sorry,” he said sheepishly. “I didn’t mean to wake you up. It is my turn for riding the circuit, and I’ll be gone all day. If you want to stay here, you can- if you ask my father, he will give you a warm welcome. Or you can come. I have two horses and plenty of food.”

I deliberated for a moment. “You will not mind if I come with?” I asked.

He shook his head. “No.” It was as though the conversation of yesterday had never happened- yet as long as Maelwys protected me, I would not fall to Aedd.

In the hall, one of the girls wrapped a loaf of bread, some cheese, and some cold beef in a cloth and gave it to Maelwys with a flask of water. He tied them to his saddle when he had gotten his horses ready. “This is Dwyn,” he said, handing me the reins of a muscular buckskin gelding. “And this black mare is Makari.” He gave me a leg up and then swung onto Makari’s back. The lanky mare, I noticed, was not truly black; she looked like a palomino who had rolled in fire soot, a coating of black over gold with a gold mane and tail.
Dwyn’s body was the same shade of gold, rich and glossy, but with night- black points. “Dwyn looks like my horse. Llyd ap Dicter.”

“Anger, son of Fury,” Maelwys mused. “He was well named?”

I nodded, smiling at the memory of my fiery horse. “He was Conor’s horse first, battle-trained. But Conor trained another horse and gave Fury to me.”

“Good. You really can ride, then.” Maelwys gave me a mischievous glance and put heels to his horse, galloping off before I could blink. Dwyn didn’t need my urging to follow his friend and caught up with Makari in a few seconds.

“You do realize,” I panted as Maelwys and I raced side by side, “that if I’d been an incompetent rider you might have killed me?”

“Of course.” He winked. “ But I’ve seen you ride.”

He was taking us, as it turned out, to the edge of the woods, where the circuit began. There, waiting for us, were Alector and three other warriors I vaguely recognized as having been at our table the night before. "Rowan, Declan, and Meurig- this is Caitriona.” I nodded to the three men and took a place next to Alector as we rode on.

“Are you all right?” he asked, concerned. “I’m truly sorry- I didn’t know that Maelwys hadn’t told you anything.”

I looked at Maelwys, who was watching us with interest but didn’t intrude.
“I’m better this morning. I just thought- well, what would you have thought? And when I heard about my father...” I swallowed the lump in my throat, eyes burning. “All right, I’m not well, yet; but I needed to do something. To keep going. That’s what we did when my mother died and I can do it again for him.”

“Your father died?” Alector shook his head. “Sometimes I wish I could know why things like that happen. But I am nothing, to question God.”

“It does show how weak we are, and how strong He is. To be killed in an instant, with no warning... to be alive, when there was little chance of life...”

“Keep seeking His purpose, Caitriona.” Alector gave me an encouraging smile. “You are holding on just fine.”

I nodded gratefully and kept my thoughts for myself. I had often regretted, for my country’s sake, my selfishness in refusing Aedd- though to hold to my decision was the only thing I could do. If Yr Widdfa lost her glory and her resolve it was a more fearful cost even than that of the pillaged caers. Without her greatness Yr Widdfa was nothing. Still, if my answer at the first had been yes, I could have spared it all.

I could not mull over the possibilities and regrets any longer. I put them aside for the time and attended to my companions. It was the warriors’ job, I learned, to patrol the caer and the area around it, a defense against possible danger. Four rode it every day while the others practiced and then guarded the caer itself, or did repair work. “They are a good bunch of men,” Maelwys said fondly. “They have learned of their own accord to be a help to whomever needs it.”

“And who do they take their orders from when you’re gone?” I wondered.
He shrugged. “They know what to do, but they go to Cernach if they must.”

The wood was peaceful in the early morning, one well- worn track through much of it. “All this belongs to Derwedd,” Alector told me. “It is a beautiful place. Derwedd, you know, is the whole province, like Yr Widdfa or Llyonesse.”

The wood stayed peaceful as we rode, the warriors occasionally talking and joking with each other. I was silent for the most part, thinking about my father, my caer, my responsibilities. In the stillness, I was reminded of my Lord. “In your presence is fullness of joy,” Lewis had said. “Indeed there is, Lord,” I whispered, alone with him in my silence. “But where does that joy come from, when my father has died? Where does it come from when my friends are dead and lost? When I have an impossible job to do with people I hardly know?” I sighed. “I know that it comes from you, but I don’t know how it comes through.”

“Hungry?” Maelwys interrupted my prayer unwittingly, holding out a piece of bread. I took it and thanked him. Between the two of us we managed to eat half the bread, cheese, and meat and drink half the ale. Alector, Declan, and Meurig had brought their own food. “Good thing,” Maelwys said to them. “You are not sharing mine!”

We were now walking along a ridge, still part of the wood, and it was a lovely sight. At the bottom of the ridge was a wide creek, blue-green from the top of the leafy ridge. There were many kinds of trees: ash, oak, rowan, beech, pine- all of them green and full.

“Caitriona,” the warrior called Declan turned to me as if with sudden inspiration. “Can you shoot a bow?”

I laughed. “Yes, but never from horseback.”

“Then we will teach you!” He pulled his bow off his back and handed it to me with an arrow. “Drop your reins- you can steer Dwyn with your knees. Slow him down by touching his neck, if you need to.”

I dropped them, hoping he knew what he was talking about, and drew the bow back as far as I could. “Elbow up a little higher,” Instructed Meurig. “You want your arm to be a straight line with the arrow.”

“Do you men never have anyone to talk to?” I laughed. “You’ve known me half a day and you’re teaching me to shoot a bow on horseback.”

“Well, we are quick to make friends,” Alector shrugged. The others nodded.

“And no, we don’t usually talk to many girls!” Meurig added with a wink. “Now, shoot.”

I did, aiming for a tree straight ahead of me. It flew past the tree and into a bush. “Oops,” I said sheepishly. “I think it’s harder on horseback.”

“Try shooting somewhere you don’t have to twist your body to aim for.”

I tried another time, missing the tree but hitting the one behind it. The next time I missed it by a hair’s breadth.

“Hold the hand holding the bow up, right where you want the arrow to go,” Meurig suggested.

I loosed the arrow, aiming at a tree behind Maelwys, right over his head. It stuck fast in the tree, though it went lower than I had wanted. Maelwys looked at the arrow wide-eyed and back at me. “Were you trying to kill me?” He rubbed his head. “Because you almost did a very good job of it.”

I smiled archly. “It went where I wanted it to go. I just wasn’t aiming at your hair.”

“Maelwys,” Alector grinned, “She’s got you pinned.”

I shot several more arrows, which Declan retrieved as we rode past the trees they were stuck in. I handed Declan’s bow back when I could hit any target at a walk (to Maelwys’s great relief) while steering Dwyn with my knees where I wanted him to go (to my great relief).

During our ride we saw a few other people- hunters, fishermen, riders on duty or enjoying the fine sunshine. The men all greeted them warmly, many by name, and introduced those they knew to me. But for the most part, it was just us. Declan, Meurig, Alector, and Maelwys were kind and eager to befriend me, and I watched them carefully to learn what I could of them.

The first two were warriors through and through and loved their horses and weapons best of all. Alector was much the same, but for his genuine love for God. But Maelwys- in Maelwys there was something more complex. Sometimes I thought him the nicest person I could meet; other times I was almost afraid of him. His eyes were piercing and thoughtful, changing color with his changing moods. I could not quite trust him completely, unable though I was to put my finger on the source of the harm in him. I decided to wait before making any solid judgments.

We arrived back at Caer Derwedd at dusk, groomed and fed our mounts, and went to clean up. Once we were back Maelwys went into the bedroom and pulled out another shift and mantle. “You can put these on, if you like. I’m going to talk to Alector and I’ll be back. Are you hungry?”

“No, not really. Just thirsty. Thank you.” I took the clean clothes and changed. There was plenty of water in the large basin on the shelf, and soap next to it, so I washed my dirty clothes and hung them outside, then made up my blanket- bed. Drew, who had trotted next to Maelwys all day but had stayed with me when his master left, lay down next to me and I stroked his soft fur. A few minutes later his ears perked up, and Maelwys walked in, holding a mug. “Here,” he grinned, handing me the ale. “My men like you- they say you should ride with us every time.”

I smiled slightly. “I like them too.”

His grin faded a little. “But you don’t like me as much, do you, Princess?” He wasn’t mean or arrogant, just curious, sitting on a chair across from me. I sighed hesitantly.

“They’re simple. Warriors, men who just like to have fun and protect their people. You’re different, somehow... I don’t think that what I see at one moment is what I’ll see the next. It’s not all of you. I’m sorry, I can’t explain it- and it’s not that I don’t like you. I just don’t know how to feel about you quite yet.”

He nodded, a trace of his grin playing on his face. “That’s all right.”

Somehow I thought it might be. I settled back and drank the ale, letting him study me. He stood finally and spoke. “I’m not riding the circuit tomorrow. Just practicing. But I’ll still be up early, so I’m going to bed.”

I nodded absently and finished my ale, praying a wandering prayer, praying for my friends and family, myself, Maelwys and his warband, and just talking to God. Nothing is ever more comforting than talking to and listening to the Lord, and I poured my heart out to Him; even so, I still wept for my father as I talked in the darkness. Long after Drew was sleeping at my side, I finished my rambling prayer and settled down to a deep sleep.

“Caitriona.” The voice dragged me from my sleep and I sat up, eyes half open.

“Conor?”

“Maelwys.” He sounded apologetic. “I wondered if you wanted to come get breakfast. I can’t bring it to you because I’m practicing with the men.”

I was more awake now. “I’m coming.” The clothes I had on were fairly clean so I simply braided my hair while walking to the hall.

“Coming to practice?” Alector asked once we were seated, handing me a piece of still-warm bread. I glanced at Maelwys. “I don’t know. Can I? You could all very easily chop me to pieces!”

The dark- haired warrior laughed. “But we wouldn’t, and none of us would let you die. You have my word. Maelwys says you can use a sword.”

His friend shrugged, in response to my surprised look, and gestured to a large, tan young man across the hall. “Moran can make you a new one. And don’t look at me like that, I saw you fight and Alector was simply asking!”

“Well, then, I am resigned.” I smiled compliantly. “But I cannot be part of the warband!”

“And why not?” Declan asked eagerly. “It has been known. Go ahead, train with us.”

I chuckled. “All right, All right! If you are so determined, as I have nothing else to do, I will come practice with you.”

An hour later I faced Meurig, sweaty and winded, fending off his careful attacks. “You are not being very offensive, milady. You can’t move fast enough with that heavy sword to hurt me- go on, attack.”

I swung at his chest and was blocked, swung again; a third time, and a fourth. “Come on!” Declan encouraged me while fighting another warrior. “Hit the scurvy rat!”

I swung this time with determination, at his shoulder. He blocked it in time, but my sword glanced off his and onto his arm, leaving a cut.

I gasped. “Meurig! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to hurt you!”
He laughed. “I’m fine. That is what you were supposed to do all along. Now do it again!” He tore a strip off his tunic and tied it around his arm, then held up his sword again. “Ready?”

I aimed a blow at his side for an answer. He was too quick and I didn’t get close. But after another hour, I’d had enough practice again to make Meurig work up a sweat. “Good,” He panted, grinning, “tomorrow try that while I’m moving!”

I groaned and stretched out ungracefully on the grass, where half the warband was already and the others were finishing up their skirmishes.

“You do this every day?”

Declan came and sat next to me. “For two hours, those who are not guarding the caer walls or riding the circuit. We go by turns. Then, we all have a post to guard, or a job to do; some days, it’s hunting, too. It takes a lot of meat to feed the king’s hall.”

The next day, as it happened, was Maelwys’s day for hunting. He introduced me to five other men when we met with them on horseback. “These are Alun, Rowan, Forgall, Llew, and Bran,” He pointed with his riding spear to each man in turn. “You all know Caitriona.” They greeted me with smiles and waves, eager to be hunting. I had never been before but I found, as I had with all the warriors, that they were kind and steadfastly patient in teaching me. We brought home several deer and one boar, though I was not much help yet.

As I joined my new friends in their daily routines, hunting or riding with Rowan, Declan, Alector, and Meurig some days once I was comfortable with them, I found that the change of everything I knew made it easier to forget the losses in Ardnurchar. Being away made it less painful to remember my father and friends and the horrifying battle, and I began to like my new life. A few weeks went by and I grew better at everything the men could teach me.

Maelwys, though, even if I liked him, remained a mystery to me. There was never anything simple with him; not to say that he wasn’t merry- when around other people, he was bright and funny, capturing everyone’s attention with natural charm. But there was a reflective watchfulness about him no matter what his mood.

The second time I rode the circuit with Maelwys, I had been in Caer Derwedd for over three weeks, and it was June. The days were growing warmer and farmers were beginning to harvest some of the early crops, so we saw more people along our route. We set off early, Maelwys, Rowan, Llew, Cormac and I, on the path that was growing more familiar to me. We rode along amiably until Cormac pulled up his horse. “I am hungry,” He announced. “Let’s eat.”

The others agreed and found a place to stop under a cluster of leafy trees and got out the food. We were soon back on our path and all in a good mood, content to be the only ones in the forest with the brilliant weather all to ourselves. The rest of the day was as calm as the morning had been and we returned to Caer Derwedd before dinner.

Maelwys turned to me with an impish glimmer in his eyes once we rode into the pasture. “I’ll race you to that tree.”

I took off as fast as I could, and we sprinted to the oak tree, laughing at each other whenever we took the lead. I was ahead by a length when all of a sudden, Maelwys was on Dwyn’s back behind me, and Makari ran along beside us, teasing her friend. I gave startled yelp and turned my head.
“Warrior’s trick,” He grinned. Then, just as suddenly, Dwyn stopped and at the same moment I felt myself being pulled off his back. I rolled on the grass and sat up to Maelwys’s lighthearted laughter. He leaned against the tree, eyes twinkling. “Didn’t want you to pass it.”

I sat down next to him, grinning too. “Of course. I obviously needed your help stopping.”

The horses came over to be untacked, then dashed off frolicking happily. “You can have a horse, you know. It doesn’t seem right for you to be here nearly a month and ride every day without having your own.”

I looked at him in delighted surprise. “You mean it? I would love a horse and you could have Dwyn back.”

The younger stock was in the pasture next to us, unclaimed or untrained horses who had been bought or bred recently. We looked them over from where we sat. “There are several good horses out there,” my friend said. “That dark brown mare with the white face, or the gray gelding near her- and that black filly with the snip on her nose, the bay stallion by the fence...”

The black filly caught my eye. “Cernach bought her last week from a caer nearby. They’re all well-trained, I hear- but nobody has claimed her.” Maelwys looked at me. "You can have any of them; my father gave his permission.”

“Thank you, Maelwys. I honestly appreciate everything you’re doing for me- taking care of me, letting me come along with you and your men, finding me weapons and a horse. It’s more than anyone else would have done.”

He waved a hand lazily. “I don’t mind at all, Cait. You return good with better and we like having you here.”

“Well, I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t saved me.”
Drew met us at the house when we returned, as excited as ever to see his master. I laughed. “It’s been almost a month since I got here,” I said, “what would he do now if I left?”

Maelwys looked at his dog. “Rip you apart.”

“Clanna na cu!” I exclaimed, “Can’t you tell him not to?”

“No.” Maelwys shook his head, grinning. “I haven’t taught him that yet.”

The next day I awoke aching and with a headache but decided that fresh air would do me better than sitting inside, so I still went hunting with Maelwys, Alector, Llew, Declan, and Meurig. I rode Makari, for a change, since I had yet to ask Cernach for my horse, and Maelwys rode Dwyn. We had no luck until after noon, when we killed three deer. Then all of a sudden, there came a wild yell to my right and six blue-painted riders galloped out of the trees. Makari spooked and bolted, and it was all I could do to stay on and trust that I wouldn’t run into anyone. But after a moment it was clear that I would be safer fighting on foot than clinging to a horse’s mane for dear life; I gathered my courage and slid off, rolling a few times and jumping up with my sword drawn. One of the attackers had apparently seen me jump off Makari and ran over to me, expecting an easy kill. I killed him instead, turning away from the sickening deed only to be grabbed around the neck by another man. His grip wasn’t strong but he held his slippery hold until I wrestled him off and knocked him out. I must have looked like a Pict myself, I thought, all blue-painted and bloody as I was now.

I ran over to Maelwys, hurting from my skirmishes, and asked if there were more Picts hiding somewhere. Surprised, he turned around to face me with his sword ready. I gave him wry grin, holding up my bloodied sword. “That should be it, then.”

“You’re a fool to think you can hide here uninvited then supplant me when you gain power!” Maelwys growled, drawing his sword arm back and slashing it across my throat. “How dare you!”

I clutched at my throat, horrified. He’d been lying to me? I had been right not to trust him. If only I had known the extent of his treachery before. My hands came away from my throat sticky and warm and breathing was like swallowing fire; I fought the swirling dark of unconsciousness just long enough to look Maelwys in the eyes for a second.

“Traitor,” I whispered, “I trusted you.” Then I was gone.