Creating Your Best Life II

Today, I took 15 minutes to sit outside and just be. I actually used a timer because I am working on making this a daily discipline.

I just sat there on my front porch and experienced God's gifts in the form of the gentle breeze and the pleasing sights and sounds of the leaves rustling in the wind. I watched the butterflies and dragonflies going about their business and just let my thoughts and imagination go.

Some people might deem this time unproductive. That is a mistake. It was definitely productive time. What it produced was a spirit of peace and tranquility, as well as emotional, mental and spiritual energy that can be utilized to further my goals.

If you think you are too busy to enjoy 15 minutes of quiet time, you are definitely too busy not to. It only takes a shift in perception and priorities. I know, easier said than done, but absolutely worth the effort.

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When we realized on Tuesday that we were going to have to walk some people, I started getting stressed because our earlier call-arounds had not discovered any availability. But in a little while, my new patterns of thinking kicked in and I remembered that stress and frustration do not present solutions. Besides, people pick up on their leader's vibrations and take their cues as to how to respond to the situation by how their leader responds.

So, I took a few deep breaths and told myself everything was going to work out well and that solutions would present themselves and that is exactly what happened.

It's how we program our minds that determines whether we will turn a difficult situation into a successful one or whether the situation will turn us into a basket case. We all have default programming that was completed before we knew any better. But we can choose to install new programs that will serve us better and override the negative ones. And at any point, we get to choose which program to run.

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In order to live a full, joyful life, there must be balance. Work can't satisfy all by itself, just as we cannot expect our every need to be met by one personal relationship.

It is important to make a valuable contribution in our work, and also in our family life, personal life, social life and community life. The best lives are those that enjoy growth and reciprocation in each of these areas and who personally develop spiritually, emotionally, socially, physically, and intellectually.

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Sure, there are challenges, but challenges are designed to help us grow, stretch, expand and progress.

There may be frustrating moments, when multiple challenges rush in as if to fill a vacuum you weren't even aware of, but frustration is only a feeling, not a fact. It passes, and life and work go on.

I have made the decision not to lower my expectations to match the level of certain employees' behaviors. I intend to maintain high standards and expect my staff to reach for them. Some may decide not to, but people generally live up (or down) to our expectations of them.

There may be a few who don't want to put forth that effort. They want to fill a time slot, draw a paycheck and do the minimum required to keep their jobs. They are welcome to do so somewhere else.

Fortunately, I have several who are self-motivated and who care deeply about our success. And that's what I intend to build on.

It has been my experience that when you are passionate about what you are doing, you tend to set whatever is flammable on fire and annoy the rest. That's a good thing, because what will remain will be those who are ready and willing to do the work necessary to create prosperity and achieve greatness.

Nothing less will satisfy.

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Why is it that some managers can be tough and yet be loved by their staff, while others who see themselves as tough are hated? It all comes down to how they make people feel when interacting with them.

The problem is, people won't change the way they interact with others until they see that the way they interact is causing the problem. As long as they think it is everybody else that is difficult, and they are just ...(however they describe their interactive style), they will continue in the same methods that are getting them the poor results.

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We shouldn't limit our choices based on whether others might question our motives. If they're thinking small, they probably will. But other peoples' perceptions are their responsibility. We are responsible for creating our own life experience. No one can create our best life for us. Why not create a life experience, including a work experience, that we passionately enjoy? Let others create their lives as they wish, but let's not allow their perceptions to alter our own designs.

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I am a firm believer in inspiration. Still, in order to set something on fire, it has to be flammable.

The expressive work of inpsiration is the part of the inspirer. The receptive work of inspiration is the part of the inspiree.

The vast majority of people who listened to Christ Himself failed to be inspired by Him. He changed the world, anyway.

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If you will listen to the things people tell you, and work through the hurt to see if there is some nugget of truth and value that you can use, you will grow toward greatness faster than you can imagine. Your people will direct you on the correct paths, if you pay attention. Every path has a destination. If you don't want to go where a path is leading, simply choose another path.

We are not given our employees to direct, but to lead. True leadership does not consist in telling people what to do, but in showing them the way to be by our example. We do not have the power to control other people. Sure, we can fire them if they don't jump at our command. But is that really the path we want to follow? How much better to bring out the best in people by patiently helping them to see the value we see in them? Most people will blossom in a positive atmosphere of caring and encouragement. There may be the occasional person who is simply not ready or willing to grow, but if that happens a lot, there is something wrong with the soil we are providing. At that point, we must consider what we can do to provide soil more conducive to growth.

Our true power lies in love, the most powerful motivational force in the universe. Love is such a powerful motivator that people will die for it. The problem is, people think love has nothing to do with work. Baloney! It has everything to do with work. Love is not being soft on wrongdoing. Love is doing what is best for ourselves, our employer, and all those we associate with.

If we love our work, we will be motivated to give our very best. If we love our employees, we will be motivated to do what is best for them. For a very few, what is best for them is to let them go. For most, what is best for them is to encourage them, and help them, and show them their potential, so that we set fire to their very soul, and their passion results in great contributions to their employer, to their own lives and to the lives of all they touch.

Remember when I talked about the action line with my kids, and I said the skill is transferrable to work? Well, the obvious difference is, we don't fire our kids. The relationship is so important to us, that we will keep trying to find solutions until we find something that works. That's a great lesson in perseverence, and in most cases, we can and should practice perseverence with our employees, as well. There is a time to cut our losses, but only after we have invested the caring, the training, and the encouragement necessary to develop an employee and we find we are not getting an ROI proportionate to our investment.

Remember the laws of sowing and reaping:

1. You reap what you sow. If you plant corn, that's what you can expect to harvest. If you plant discontent, it's not going to yield a lovely garden. If you want a joyful work environment, you must begin by planting joy.

2. You reap more than you sow. A few small seeds bear a multitude of fruit, bitter or sweet, according to what you planted.

3. You reap later than you sow. It takes time to see the results of what you have planted. You can't expect an instant harvest.

There is greatness in you, but you have a truckload of emotional baggage to dump. If you choose to keep approaching life from behind the garbage that life has dumped on you, then you are victimizing yourself. The reason it is so recognizable to me is that I have been down that path, and I find that the more I let go of emotional junk, the more I enjoy life and the more I am free to share joy and love with others.

I began by choosing not to be a victim any more. I became aware that what happened in my past only continued to hurt me because I chose to relive it again and again. It was like continually opening a wound so that it never got a chance to heal. Once I chose to grieve my losses, I was able to move past them. It was a little rough getting through the grief, but the only way out is through. Trying to ignore your pain is ineffective. If you don't deal with it properly, it will pop up at times and in circumstances that are not convenient for you. If you think your emotional life does not affect your work life, you are mistaken. We don't check out lives at the door. Wherever we go, there we are, and whoever we are being is who we are choosing to be.

You were not put on this earth to wither, but to blossom and to share your beauty and fragrance with the world. In Bible terms, "Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." Evil may happen, but we are intended to grow bigger and more powerful than that evil, and to overcome it, not to be overcome by it. There is only one power that can overcome evil, and that is love. If you think about it, love is all that is good. And all that is good is love.

I look forward to seeing you grow larger than your pain, and larger than any problem thay may present itself to you, so that your goodness and your greatness are visible to all and love flows from you and to you in avalanches of abundance.

"We must be the change we wish to see in the world." - Mahatma Ghandi

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Here's the deal: you want me to be more cautious. I want you to be less so.

Will you be hurt? Hell, yeah. But in my experience, shutting out pain means shutting out everything else. If people can't get in to hurt you, they can't get in to love you and bless you, either.

We've been hurt, and we will be again. So what? We'll handle it. Everything that has happened in our past can benefit us. It can make us strong or fearful, depending on how we choose to frame it.

You may think being tough means building an impermeable wall around your heart that protects you from being hurt, but to my way of thinking, being tough means being open to pain, taking the risk, letting people in, being willing to be hurt rather than be hard.

Don't get me wrong, I believe in being wise when it comes to people, but I have observed various GMs and I have realized that GMs are not really objective when it comes to their people. The same employee that you think walks on water, the next GM will not care to work with. That's just the way it is, because we all have different filters through which we process life's experiences and relationships.

Life is bland without contrast. We really wouldn't want it too easy, because without challenge, life would be boring and we would disengage. Just like salt enhances the sweetness in desserts by providing contrast, it's the pain we experience that makes life's blessings so incredibly sweet. We appreciate the goodness of life because of contrast. If we never had it rough, we wouldn't know how good we have it now.

So, yes, I am a bit of a Pollyanna, but it's not because I've never been taken. It's because I choose to approach life this way. I've tried viewing life through the filter of fear and caution and it never got me anywhere I wanted to be. Viewing life through the filter that everything is going to work out for my good gets me joy, pure and simple, and guess what? Everything does turn out for my good. I am a victor, not a victim.

So, there it is. Loving is worth the risk to me, because I know from experience I can only release the magic that's inside me when I am open and I give of myself freely. Everyone has magic inside them. Why not pop the cork and release your magic and so bless the world? The rewards are well worth the risk.

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I think I have figured out the source of my deep disappointment in making mistakes, and especially in having them pointed out. I have mentally and emotionally tied my value in to how I am doing on the job. Not only have I done so, it is a common error. Didn't you hear Renee say more than once, "You're better than that." Hell, yeah, I'm better! But not because I am able reach some impossible standard of perfection. I am better than any fault, failure or mistake because I am a creation of God Almighty, Who never makes junk.

Unfortunately, that doesn't mean I am not going to make mistakes. It just means the mistakes are not part of who I am. They are actions or omissions that fell short of the mark. Let him that is without sin cast the first stone.

Now, I understand to a deeper degree why so many GM's are emotionally unhealthy. The only aspects of themselves some develop is their jobs and the ability to hold their liquor. So, when they fall short of the mark in their jobs, what else do they have? Not going there, not doing that, no, thank you, no.

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