\"Writing.Com
*Magnify*
SPONSORED LINKS
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1103490-Walking
Item Icon
Rated: E · Other · Action/Adventure · #1103490
A boy walks through an orchard on his way to shchool.
Given this run-on sentence:


Time dragged both slowly and painfully while the sun slowly rose into the sky, shining down on a small boy who was walking along a path kicking at rocks, and tossing sticks aimlessly through the air in an attempt to hit the small birds which were roosting in the blossom covered cherry trees that had dropped pink petals all over the ground as far as the eye could see.

My three conclusions:

It is Morning

The boy is throwing sticks at the birds

He is in a cherry orchard


My re-tooled paragraph


It was near the end of the school year, and Mitchell was restless. The sun seemed to be taking it’s time rising, and a chill pervaded the air. He hated walking to school; but his house was so far from the road, he had to trudge through the cherry orchard to get to the bus stop. “One more week,” he said aloud, “and I am free!” He kicked at the stones covered in cherry blossom petals, coating his shoes in the pinkish-white castoffs. The birds mocked him, twittering and singing in ever increasing volume. Mitchell picked up a fallen twig and hurled it at a nearby tree, scattering his tormentors.
© Copyright 2006 Ravenwand, Rising Star! (ravenwand at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
Writing.Com, its affiliates and syndicates have been granted non-exclusive rights to display this work.
Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1103490-Walking