Knickers That Fit

They say Size Doesn't Matter,
But as we get fatter
It's important
Knickers That Fit

A brief or a thong
If it's tight
Then it's wrong
Admit it, and don't be a twit
Only wear Knickers That Fit

We get older and wiser
But bigger and fatter
It's a matter of size
Tight knickers don't flatter
Open your eyes and you'll see

Elastic that pinches superfluous inches
Gussets that bite where the fit isn't right
Your knickers may not take the strain
Unbearable tension they cannot sustain
Over and over and over again

Are they tight in the beam?
Or coming apart at the seam
In silence you suffer
Not daring to sit down
Because of the size of your tum
Or the wedgie that's stuck up your bum

Shortage of fabric
That's one way to say it in a roundabout way
Too short for your weight
You need to be taller
Your knickers have shrunk and gone smaller

So please won't you try when out shopping to buy
Knickers That Fit
Not what used to fit you, historically
Now you're bigger
A much fuller figure
Old and wise
But a different size
"They fitted before"
Yes, but now there's much more of you

Gone are the days of size 10
We may never see them again
Or was it 12 or 14 that you always have been?
Now you long for Sweet Little Sixteen

Whatever your past
It's different today
Figures don't last, figures change
And sadly, we slip up the range
Towards the plus sizes
Large, and there's larger than that
You've put on a pound or two
Little bit more of you
Rounder, OK, just fat

And you cannot disguise
That your diet's consisting
Of too many pies and chips
Chocolate, crisps, high calorie dips
Snacking and grazing
Sitting and lazing
It's a shame and a pity
That people are hungry today
Not too far away
Just existing, not living
And here we are turning to fat
Where's the fairness in that?

And in over-eating
What need are we meeting
Hungry inside, for what?
I saw it on Oprah one day
It's food, and it's mood, and it's far from OK
'coz it's taking our figures away

Let's do something about it
Exercise? Diet?
We all ought to try
Nothing tastes as good as Knickers That Fit feels
Calorie-counting
Jogging and sweating
Never forgetting hips and thighs
As we slim to our previous size

Now fitter and slimmer, we smile at the mirror
We pull on our trollies with ease
A fit that feels pleasing, not tight
A fit that feels ever so right
Knickers that fit without pain
Knickers that let you breathe out once again

Now our knickers are slack
With some give at the back
Fitting with comfort and style
At least for a while
Now we smile

'coz we'll buy
Knickers so sheer and so fine
No visible panty-line
Satin and silky, lacy and frilly
Why were we silly to cram ourselves in
To knickers that fitted us when we were thin?

Knickers That Fit
Such bliss
now tell me
Does my bum look BIG in this?

:)