The First Wheel

Just read what i've written so far! I hope you enjoy it. Most people who read it say "wow thats great, just like Harry Potter but it'll sell more" WARNING - above may be a lie. I seriously hope, nay believe, this will be a published novel by the end of the year. You see theres this hot woman (28 years old) in my creative writing group and I need her to fall in love with me. She's also working on a novel called Dark Matter that reads like a cross between Bridget Joneses Diary and One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest. It's very very well written so i've got that to compete with. Any spelling or grammer mistake in my novel are unimportant and will be corrected before publication. So just sit back, relax and enjoy being one of the first people ever to read The First Wheel!

Chapter 1

The future. It’s no big deal really. Close your eyes and empty your mind. Count to ten. Now you’re ten seconds in the future! Well done dear reader, you’re a damn time machine. I guess you really want to know about the future though. It’s basically a lot like right now, but with slightly smaller mobile phones. Welcome to 2266.

Literia: 2266

The crew of the First Wheel were finally in motion, setting off from the eye of the hurricane. Inside they were battered relentlessly, as the craft slid in and out of the heart of the storm like some deranged sex addict. Ominious growling noices reverberated and echoed into a spasming cocaphanny. The ship wasn’t holding up too well either. Stacy stood defiantly in the dark rusting cockpit, his hands stubbornly crossed.
“But we’re going to be o.k. right?”
Lazarus snatched a glance away from the miriad of old fashioned computer screens and holo-cubes that illuminated the cramped compartment. His pale noble features did not look happy.
“If by o.k. you mean theres a distinct possibility that we may survive the next ten seconds before this heap of shit falls apart, then yeah, we’re fine. I thought I told you that the stabilisers needed replacing but…”
The ship juddered violently, screeching as it left the upper atmosphere. Stacy was flung hard to the floor, his head greeting the sheet-metal with a resounding gong.
“…Oh what the fuck?!” hissed Lazarus, “And now you’ve made me swear. I hope you’re bloody satisfied.”
Stacy muscular arms shot out at lightning speed, grabbing the central control pillar that Lazarus was in symbiosis with and hoisting himself up. He massaged his head, vainly trying to reduce the persistant throbbing pain in his temples.
“If you cant handle the heat Lazzy, then get out my kitchen. Besides, we’re all living on borrowed time, mate. Frankly after that little mishap on Literia, I’m surprised you aren’t just counting yourself lucky to be alive.”
He gave Lazarus an unnecessary hard pat on the shoulder.
“Can you set a course to Earth please? Do you think you might be able to manage that one little thing? We all need to get back and touch base.”
“It’s on my to-do list” sighed Lazarus as the starship punctured through Literia’s grafity and shot out into deep space.
Lazarus turned once more to squint throught the darkness and say something sarcastic but Stacy was already gone, his shoulders just visible passing through the narrow metal doors.


The turn of the twentieth century. Around the globe people partied like it was 1999. Humanity laboured on still worried about where the money was coming from to pay the bills. Time simply flew by as Big Brother reached its 50th series. It still was really really bad. People mainly thought about saving up to buy a new iPod; you know, the one that transmitted music directly into your brain. By 2100, Swiss scientists had created a fat-free chocolate, found a cure for cancer and invented several new Cuckoo Clocks, each more accurate than the last. World War III enevitably almost tore the world appart in 2109 pitting the people who really liked blowing shit up against the people who didn’t have anger management issues. Twenty years later, when the final missile had been fired and the final bomb went off, people generally agreed that the whole war thing was overrated and it would be a lot more sensible to sit down and discuss it like responsible adults. In the face of the suffering and tragedy the world gained a new sense of the importance of unity. People finally began to realise the potential of the human race, if only they could set aside their differences. The World Government was established in 2141 with each country having an equal say in world politics. Europe united as a single entity; the USA stopped acting like an asshole and poluting the planet. Another hundred years of technological progress rushed blizing by; psy-energy (energy from the unconcious mind) was discovered and a universal translator was created. The operation to insert it into the speech centre of the brain became as commonplace as having an ingrowing toenail removed. Computers leapt forward, the interent became fully virtual and immersive. It still was mostly porn though and Windows still crashed all the time. Finally in the summer of 2242 fold-space starship engines were invented and about time, most phycisists thought. Lots of people wanted the revolutionary technology to be called hyperspace engines, but the scientific community generally agreed it sounded like a cliché. About this time our protagonists, the crew of the Starship First Wheel were born. They were born into a new world, a world where contact with new alien species occurred on a regular basis. The thing about species who hadnt yet invented fold-space engines is that other, more developed life forms left them well alone. It was just like the paperclip or the post-it note; once invented everyone couldn’t understand why no one had come up with it sooner – it was so obvious. And so spacemen jetted off in shining new ships, making contact with hundreds of new civilisations. The universe, it soon became apparent, was filled with as many worlds as there were cities on Earth. The very first alient world that mankind made contact with was called Foveon. Back home we waited with fevered anticipation.

Dreamer:
This is the crew of the Starship Dreamer, representing mankind of the Planet Earth. We extend our deepest greetings and sincere best wishes. This is an exploration vessel and we mean no harm to your planet. Do you understand us?

Fovean Central Space Command (work experience boys):
Atack! Destroy!!! (laughter), shhhh! (muffled laughter) Exterminate! Destroy! (intense laughter) Oh god, oh god oh god (more laughter) (deep breath) We understand you mankind of Earth and extend our feelings of welcome, solidarity and (what was it? Darren give me the “first contact card”) …and friendship. Your ship is clear to land sector C3L11.7, transmitting the coordinates. The weather there is beautiful right now. Enjoy your stay on Foveon. (muffled talking, shouting) …Oh by the way, about the whole destroy thing, we were just having a bit of a joke. Ummm, could you kind of not mention that to anyone please?

Dreamer:
The crew of the starship dreamer, representing mankind of the Planet Earth, thanks the people of Foveon for their gracious and most apreciated hospitality. We found your joke rather funny and assure you that we will indeed not mention it again. Many thanks for showing us compasion and welcome. Our ship is decending as we speak.

Fovean Central Space Command (work experience boys):
Cheers guys! Yeah, thanks for that. A welcome committee will be there to meet you. You’d better suit up until we work out of you can breath our atmosphere ok? Don’t forget that. Chat to you soon. Bye.

And so mankind made contact with its first alien planet. Aliens were nothing like we had been led to believe from the movies and science-fiction books. Physiologically they were rarely anything like humans, their path of evolution normally varying greatly to out own. Also they were only really interested in one thing: tourism. In a stable galaxy with very little war or conflict, the universal economy boomed on tourism. First contact with a new planet was their opportunity to show us around and give us leaflets, but it was never a big event – never even made it into their newspapers. The crew of the First Wheel left Earth in 2265 having spent all their savings getting an old second-hand “Boldly122” one of the first commercial starships ever made. They were pioneers in their field, each ond every one of them. They were Earth’s first interstellar theives.








Chapter 2

Literia: 2265 (23 days earlier)

The crew of the First Wheel were gathered in the common room, eating brunch and planning their future. Stacy passed through from the kitchen with a platefull of crumpets and placed it in the middle of the table, which his friends were assembled around. Squishy chairs, books and weapons lay discarded on the metallic floor of the converted cargo bay. Various posters were pinned to the composite metal walls; ‘boys are stupid’ proclaimed one and Emma Emerson a pop princess gazed down from another. The smell of crumpets, coffee and burnt plastic filled the air.
“Eat up guys” announced Stacy, “I can always make some more”.
He gazed thoughtfully out of the huge common room viewing window which filled an entire wall. Stars filled the void with their faint shimmering light, but Stacys sight was drawn towards the planet which the ship was in orbit around, a turkoise watery world. He turned and looked back at his crew who were greedly eating and drinking. Two men and three women sat around the wooden table. Nearest to Stacy, with their backs turned to him were Lazarus and Dalya. Lazarus was a tall pale man with messy brown hair. He spoke in a posh accent fitting of his public school education,
“I expect now you’ll be wanting something from us in return” he said.
Next to him sat Dalya, her short black hair made even darker by the light above which had blown and not been fixed yet. She tured round to gaze at Stacy with her large striking green eyes and grimmaced,
“Theres no pleasing some people.”
Stacy returned to his seat at the head of the table and helped himself to a crumpet and some orange juice. Thirstilly he drank the whole glass in one go. On the other side of the table sat Zeezee, Hariet and Tally. Zeezee was the youngest on board, only just in her twenties. Her pretty freckled face was made more distinctive by her mismatched eyes (one blue, one brown) and a tangle of curly ginger hair. She winked at Lazarus,
“Stacy always wants something is return but don’t worry, you’re not his type” she said in her deep husky voice. Lazarus mearly gave Zeezee a piercing look as if to say I am better than you in every concievable way. Harriet picked at her food with a distant look on her face.
“Are you feeling ok?” asked Stacy.
Harriet brushed her long dirty blond hair out her face, pushing her glasses further up her nose.
“I’m fine, thank you very much” she said dismissively, “why would you say that?”
“It’s just that” interjected Tally “…you seem a bit down”. He run a hand through his spiky blond hair and stretched lazily,
“I could think of a few things that might cheer you up” he said.
Harriet blushed in response to this, understanding the gist of what Tally meant.
“Don’t flatter yourself.”
Everyone was finished eating except Tally who proceded to butter a pancake with his finger.
“That’s disgusting, you malnourished animal” said Lazarus speaking for the group.
Tally looked up and grinned, “Sexy disgusting!”

(this chapter is not finished yet, but I’m tired) - David