I never did it for you

I never did this for you

Slamming into the dirty slates of a busy street-
drunk with regrets and a warm bottle of whiskey,
dropping to my knees
on the "Home" mat
of his building,
asking for help, for him to forgive me
I cry, "Daddy! Daddy!
but my apologies are worthless explanations,
he shuts the door in my face while no one's looking.

So minutes, days, months later
in a blink of an eye
or maybe my eyes were closed most of the time.
I pick myself up
onto my callused feet
and walk away,
as he finally opens the door
to ask if I'm okay and asks me now if I need anything,
I turn around and say,"No thanks."