drenched...... in my own consciousness

soaking

I am soaking

never knowing what is coming, never knowing which way is up

life has a way of knocking me down, throwing me away and spitting me out so I never have a chance to breathe for too long

it is only love that frees me

but it never stays

it is only peace that can take me to a higher place

but

I cant achieve it

there is nothing that I can do to feel up to the challenge of punching life out, the way it deserves, the way I need to, the way I want to

cursing my way out of the nothing I've become within the web of lies and decietful ways of the world. people, places and things and without knowledge, power and existence

I just continue to sail through the earth's core

with nothing to show for it

my consciousness allows me to fake my way through so-called happiness

smiling to conceal the worst fears that come true before my eyes

soaking

I am soaking in it

shit that I can't control, love that hurts me and hate that eats me up inside

it has me stagnant

and I don't see a way out of it ........



that's what scares me

that's what scares me the most

..............................cause there's no way out

of my head