Turmoil of a Troubled Mind

The Turmoil of an unstable mind


Once in a land of great grief and despair, there lived this woman who was in grief and despair also. She was one with confusion and turmoil, afraid to let out feelings of any sort in fear that she would be judged. For being judged would be a fate worse than death itself; and with an already fragile mind this is the thing that would send her over the edge. What is it like to live in a mind that is constant with thoughts of fear, anxiety, smoldering desire, and grief? To many this is an area that is not known, but for her it was an area she knew all too well.

Thoughts race through her mind like their in a race to go nowhere; I mean where can they go. She is trapped in this mind of inescapable misery and despair. Will she ever be free, totally free or a slave to a mind that isn’t quite right. Will there always be meds to take, and the fear of falling into a lake and drowning if she doesn’t take them faithfully? Will she always be jumpy, snappy, and unable to love completely? Is the life she is destined always to be filled with unhappiness, doubts about fulfillment, the constants fear something bad is about to happen? Will there ever be a moment in which will be filled with sunlight in which the rays fade all that is dark?

At times she cries over spilt milk, a word not spoken just right, or a feeling that has overtaken her; tears seem to be in abundance in her life. Can she dry them up someday?
A feeling of dread is not uncommon with her, but feelings of complete happiness are unfamiliar. So unfamiliar in fact, that seeing a touching movie sends her in waves of sadness and feelings like life can’t be that unfair. Why can’t she find true love or happiness, or maybe in her mind true love and happiness are not what they seem. Is she confusing the two so to avoid any emotion? Can she be sabotaging her own life?