If my life had a soundtrack, this would be it. |
As graceful as a spider web in a breeze Her feet traced the dance floor gently A ridiculously large belly Balanced on slender legs. It was News Years Eve 1983 Her pregnant mind full of resolutions His eyes dimmed by champagne. Maybe that’s where the music starts The night before I was born When they waltzed to Sinatra Tangoed the Caminito And fox-trotted to Ella. I grew up in a world full of smoky voices As warm as chocolate chip cookies When it’s worth having a burnt tongue for a taste. Just take a little Nat King Cole Stir in old Satchmo, with a kick of Billie. There’s something pure in their lazy drawls. Their sounds smell familiar Like the fireplace in the old house Or mother's milky skin. But that’s just in memory Sometimes I remember the lyrics wrong. In your youth, you don’t really understand the lyrics, anyway. Like the time I sang for Mrs. Dumas My third-grade teacher. She went to the Calgary Chapel Full of white smiles and black faces Rich buttery flavored cries, voices so soulful It made you want to melt into yourself. “Sing baby, sing!” She chanted So I sang the songs that I knew My white-girl hue probably flat In contrast to their colorful tones But I didn’t care. That same year, my radio broke Or maybe it just got stuck on a bad station. Mom and dad stopped dancing, Mom moved us to the house that had one of those Electric fireplaces Didn’t put off smoke, only dry heat It was a house full of bad music Like a Neil Diamond Christmas album. Funny how some of the worst songs stick with you the most. But baby, you’ll never learn to sing the blues If you don’t drink every color at least once. The watery hush of violins and reeds The rhythmic itch of brass and guitar The hard, salty kiss of syncopated voices The deep, throaty moans of graveled cries. They are rich with colors. But my canvas wasn’t art Until the day I fell into red. I fell into a red pulse of harmony Enamored by an adagio of scarlet and heat Kissed by a cadence different than any other beat And for a moment, I forgot every other color There was just this, Crimson Bliss. But I overlooked that warmth can burn That red means stop, careful, caution. You can’t survive on one color alone. The day I curled into black And fell asleep in the ashes Was the day that I knew I could taste every rhythm And it wouldn’t scar me. I can savor every texture, every hue And baby, I can finally sing the blues. |