The Desperate Lowlife

-I'm standing here...outside this box, just looking in, looking in on you and looking out for you...it's what I was good at...it's what I lived to do, not just for me...but for you too.

-You have a soul that can feed the world, all this from a sweet, seductive, amazing girl, who would've thought...can you even imagine how beside myself I was to know she strategically pursued me in a way that's left me pining for her to this day...shit what more can I say...

-Just listen...just wait,...on second thought, I have so much more to say...but how do you describe something or someone you can't explain fully...you know the feeling they give you, you've enjoyed that high many a time. The memories of moments spent linger in the air they live on in your heart and in your mind like feature length films...which spills into your dreams fucking with your sleep because it seems so real it leaves you questioning each dream.

-No matter what words i speak it never seems to me like i ever even come close to scraping the surface of actually explaining how i feel for you...every time i try to it's almost as if it makes no difference you just bat your eyes, roll them and say something cute, like it's all irrelevant...all that energy spent, this is someone i can't bare to forget...this is something my heart is not ready to regret, because i know when worse comes to worst you're all I'll have left.

-Then again not all flames are meant to burn forever, but i can't forgive this heart for not forgetting her at the same time i can't keep letting her...FUCK!

-Why does it always hurt? I can never find the words...this time I'm really on my own, never truly felt this alone even after losing my home...with so many reasons as to why i should or shouldn't hold on,...my heart's overwhelmed, my mind is just riddled with unmade descisions.

-Our long silent procession has left my mind wandering and my heart guessing that this may not be the place for me, but for the fucking life of me...I can't think of any other place that I'd rather be...than here.

-Things aren't so clear anymore. What do you do when they can't love you any different...but if it wasn't for them you'd be six feet deep and stiff...now loving them is killing you instead...what then?

-Is that the end? We never had a real chance to begin...I'm worn so thin, the veins in my wrist still throbbing deep with sin...I can feel them itching under my skin. The world will know how much I tried and kept trying until the day I die...this year my valentine has hollow eyes...

...Long live the desperate lowlife.