No Beauty Ever Loved a Beast

No beauty ever loved a beast
No man would notice any shoe
The reason these are fantasy
Is because they can’t come true
A chick with hair that men can climb
Would not be seen a second time
Nor would any girl whose wish
Is to no longer be a fish
Aurora was simply narcoleptic
Authors just would not accept it
Thumbalina was a midget
And not as cute as little Gidget
Snow White was a snow-white wench
Even after death she’s frenched
Away with a necrophiliac
Those seven men will miss that ass
So if you learned anything from this poem
I hope it’s something you’ve always known:
The bald and tall get no action
Fins or a shoe will spur a reaction
You’re hotter when you’re dead or sleeping
And well-endowed dwarves aren’t worth keeping