Healing

A search to HEAL

Imagine the joy when someone wants to meet you.
Imagine the pain when someone leaves you.
The hellos are difficult but exciting.
The parting is nothing but frightening.

You wait for word to find out if you were acceptable.
And nothing comes but things your repress.
Anxiety, wonder, fear and torment are all within your soul
And when you hear” I’m home safely” you lose your control.

Were you ever good enough to be loved by this special someone.
What did you do to scare the feelings away?
Did you order confusion and distrust and were you good enough
Are you the person you thought you were or simply not much.

You drown your sorrows with days of nothing.
Night unending pain.
Tomorrow you check again, to see if they still refrain.
What is wrong with a simple explanation?

I cannot, will not, do not love you.
I will never see you again.
How do I know this without the words?
The words that bring the pain.

I was good enough.
It was you who was lacking.
Trust that my love could overcome all distracting…
And be there for you, the one.

But, no, not to be.
Unacceptable you see.
Missing the defining words
I loved you.

I continue my course with a slow, painful pace.
I wonder if you think of me or even see my face.
I brought you pleasure, I know this for a fact
You could not disguise how we physically act.

So remember me in years to come
As someone who could have been your someone.
I wanted you well, not hurting with pain.
I wanted your love, not your neglectful disdain.

I will long remember this painful time
When you and I could have shared the sublime.
Not good enough, not pretty or sweet.
Not just the right body to warm your feet


Or love you enough to make life complete.
Give all of myself not caring for money.
Wanting your sweet soul to carry the honey,
The sweetness of our imagination.

Life is so short and so hard to find
The one you think loves your mind.
Your body, no concern, or so it is said
The love that you give, more like blood that is bled.

I will never forget you.
I wanted you to be
The one that I thought
Really wanted me.