Safe

Is it possible to feel this lonely, but be surrounded by people? I often wonder what you’re thinking; I sit and watch you for hours. Interacting with the rest of the gang, I notice how you hide your pain from them. But when it’s me and you, alone,together, I see something they don’t.

Your eyes tell me you’re afraid
I feel you flinch
When I stroke your arm
Why are you so scared?

I sometimes wake up at night, to find you shaking in your sleep. Nothing can save you from the demons in your mind. I lay stroking your brunette hair, watching your eyelids flicker as you relive your worst memories.

Is it me that haunts your dreams?
Is it me that you hide from?
I hear your whispered reply
No baby, it’s him

No matter what you’re doing, you look as though you have the weight of the world on your shoulders. Teaching the girls, how to be a warrior, how to talk about their problems with their Mentors. We’ve been together 3 years now, and you’ve only just started to tell me about your past.

His words torment your mind
Dirty slag, filthy whore
Twisted words making you believe
That it was all you were good for.

I try to comfort you, but you distance yourself from me. I can’t explain to you I love you and I will never hurt you like he did. I tell you all the time, that you’re special and how much you mean to me. You look at me as though, you want to believe me, but you never do.

I know when I reach out to hold you
All you can see is him,
His wandering hands,
Taking away all innocence you had.

No body realizes that somebody as strong as you, can be tormented by you’re past. You try and act so big and tough while your dying inside, the bags under your eyes from last night will heal by lunchtime, but they will be back tomorrow morning. You barely sleep or eat, every time you hear a mans deep voice you jump and look alarmed.

You pay for his crimes every night
In silent tears and nightmares