Overcoming

Why can’t you hear me? I have tried everything, and yet you don’t seem to hear. I shout and it doesn’t even sound like a whisper to you, it’s less than that.
I never cross your mind. I’m not there. Less than a disturbance. And I talk, and talk, and talk, but there is nothing to do…
At times I tell myself that there is no way for me, because you don’t want to listen, don’t want to know, don’t even want to acknowledge that I am here.
So I drown myself into many things. I hope you notice it. I make noise, I use space, I exist. It is as simple as this.
You are not the only one I blame. I also have pain in my heart for the one who took parts of me with him, and made me pay instead of worshipping me. More than pain, I harbor hatred for he who has brought me down to my knees.
I have been to hell. I have come back from hell. I have found out that I enjoyed parts of hell. That I wasn’t a fallen angel. That I could take my revenge. That I would take my revenge. Come what may, I now know that I will have my moment of glory. That precious time when I will feel at ease. That precious time when I can say my heart is pure again. Bliss will come and remove the evil inside.
I am not able to forgive you. I am not able to forget you. But I will get over you.