Chapter Five: Staircase of Memory

Chapter five: Staircase of Memory



I stood there, stunned at what I was looking at. I let go of the drawer handle and reached in to grab the key. It was small and shined brightly, light glaring off the silver surface. The handle was carved beautifully into the shape of a heart. Inside the heart was a keyhole. The head of the key was also etched into the shaped of a semi-complete heart. I had no doubt in my mind as to what this was. It had to be the very same key I had heard my voice describe only moments before. But what was I supposed to do with it? If this was the key to my heart, which I was sure it was, how was I supposed to use it? I stared at it, and then reached down to place it in my pocket. As I put my hand in I felt the piece of paper I had put in there before I had found the key. I pulled it out; I seemed to have gotten folded up. I unfolded it only to see something I had nearly forgotten about. It was a locket, gold and carved into the shape of a heart, well a half heart. I had gotten it for J.J. and I on our one-year anniversary, the gold thread glistened as it dangled from my hand. I opened it to see the name Jennifer carved in the gold. For that instant the thought of J.J. flashed through my head, my eyes grew wet and I shut them, squeezing the locket in my hand. I grew angry and shoved it back into my pocket. Ever since the fight I had had the urge to through the locket away, and once I almost did. I was standing above the garbage, while it dangled below my hand. I thought about letting go, I almost did, but something stopped me. I don’t know what it was but it did, since then I had just kept it in my pocket instead of wearing it around my neck, I suppose that was the next best thing.

I noticed the paper, which I had dropped upon seeing the locket and picked it up. “Through the door, up the stairs, hurry.” I read it over and over again, through the door? There weren’t any doors; it was just an empty room. I shook my head and looked up, stuffing the paper into my pocket. Sighing I walked over too the chair and sat down. I looked at the sword that I had just pulled out of my heart and got lost in the blue-white light that it seemed to emit. My eyelids drooped and I went into a semi-conscience state as I continued to gaze at the glowing blade.

Then I heard something, the same voice I had heard before, the one that had said the poem. It was beautiful, and I struggled to remember whose voice it was. “The one who is most important to you, will be the one to guide you through.” It faded away and my whole body twitched, jerking out of the trance. The sword began to vibrate and I held it away from my body. The heart that was carved onto the hilt began to glow a bright blue while the J, which was carved within that, began to turn white. At that moment the blade grew even brighter, waves of light pulsating in every direction. Then the strangest thing happened, the vibrating stopped and the blade grew dim, except for its tip. It looked like a star, that single point of light shining while everything else was dark, for even the light in the room had diminished. From the sword’s tip came a thin, narrow beam of light. I shone upwards towards the opposite side of the room. Once the beam hit the ceiling it shot strait down to the floor, then split into two beams. The beams of light spread farther from each other, though never separating at the top, until a huge triangle had been created. I slowly moved foreword, the triangle, it seemed, was a door or a gateway. I stopped right in front of it, not sure if I wanted to walk through. On the other side I couldn’t see anything, only a black abyss. I looked at the door and then at the sword, the J carved on the handle grew brighter and emitted a beam of light all its own. This beam shot straight foreword, into the darkness. “The one who is most important to you, will be the one to guide you through” I said it to myself and heaved a sigh, “Well if you say so.” And I stepped foreward.



Just like when I had stepped through the Mind’s Door, it all happened fast. Where there had been a black nothingness before there was now something. I was standing in a circular room, in the center was a spiral staircase. I walk to the foot of it and looked up, it went on for a long ways until it disappeared into the blackness. The tip of the sword was no longer glowing and the entire blade went back to its normal all-around glow. The J, however, was still emitting a beam of light which flowed up the stairs and out of sight. The beam gave one last burst of light before disappearing altogether.

I lifted my foot and placed it in the first step, nothing, I took another step, still nothing. I smiled, this seemed easy enough. I set a steady pace and continued up the staircase. Higher and higher I climbed, before long I grew tired. I looked down from the edge, there were no railings so I was careful not to fall, I could no longer see the floor, at least I was making progress. That seemed to give me hope and I begin to climb the stairs again. I walked for some time, below me the stairs stretched endlessly, I looked up, it was the same. To my sides there was nothing, the walls had disappeared. I continued up, higher and higher, then something caught my eye. Above me, in the blackness, was a star, the star, the same one I had seen in the field, and on the alter before venturing through the Mind’s Door, it warmed me and I was filled with a new hope. I quickened my pace, being careful to stay away from the edges. I broke into a slow jog, the sword shining at my side. My foot caught the step and I fell forward. My head slammed into the stairs and my face throbbed with pain. I lifted my arm and wiped my face, it was bloody. I set my sword down and stood up, my nose was bleeding and I cleaned the blood off the best I could. I bent down and grabbed my sword.

As I straightened I saw, to the side of me, a piece of glass. Well that’s what it looked like. I turned to examine it more closely, I looked like a mirror, a few inches wide and cut in the shape of a diamond, it slowly floated down into the abyss. I looked around, there were more of them, hundreds to be more precise, all diamond shaped, thought some were larger than others, they all were slowly falling down through the air. A little ways up I spotted one that seemed bigger than the others, it was also moving more slowly. I stepped up the stairs until I was close enough that I could look into it. It was just like the others, only bigger…but wait; I saw something, inside of it. It was a picture, a moving picture, like a movie only more real. It was a picture of me, on my first day of high-school. I was talking to my friends; they walked away except for Jordan. I had every class with her, we walked down the hall towards the algebra classroom. We sat down, I saw J.J. too, we had that class together but weren’t going out at that time. I looked into my face; I remembered how scared I was that day. The picture faded as the mirror dropped lower. I looked up, there were still more coming, I ran up to the first one I could see into properly. Just like the first one I could see myself, I was in the Jr. High School. It was the dance and I was standing by myself, looking at Jordan. A second later my friend, Matt, comes up and notices me staring at her. I remember that, I forget what grade I was in, but that was the night I had spilled my secret to Matt about liking Jordan. I smiled, and saw myself walk over to Jordan, I said something and the picture faded as the mirror drifted lower and lower. I walked down, hoping to catch up with it, but it disappeared quickly into the darkness below. I walked over to another one, there I was, sitting on the bus next to Kyle, another friend, reading a note. My brow furrowed, I remember this, that was the break-up note Jordan gave to me. I remembered it all to well, I quickly walked away not wanting to remember that.

I looked into another one, it was Homecoming. I was dancing with someone, but who was it? My mind raced as I tried to recall the name of the person that I saw myself dancing with. J.J. I was dancing with Jennifer. How could I have forgotten that? Was I losing it? I shook my head, ashamed at what had just happened. I continued to walk, every once in a while looking into a piece. It wasn’t long before I realized what these things were, they were my memories. Indeed what I was looking at were my memories.

I kept climbing, noticing that as I got higher, I got younger, younger in the Memories I mean. I saw some of me in Jr. High. Slowly they went to elementary school. I saw one of Collin, my friend, and I playing on the playground at school, a different one which included my third grade teacher, who happened to be the best teacher I ever had, and even some of my brother.

I kept going and eventually I saw a Memory of me from before I had moved to Morrison, back at the apartment complex where I used to live. I stopped walking to look at it, my best friend, who was also named Alex, and I were playing down by the creek. Our shoes were sitting on the bank and we were bent down with our hands in the water. I quickly straighten; in my hand is a crawdad. I hold it up to Alex’s face and he jumps back, falling into the water. I laugh and he gives me a good splash. I cover my face and the crawdad goes flying, into my shoe. I slip and fall into the water and we begin to splash each other, back and forth. I smile, remembering. My eyes began to grow wet as a tear rolled down my cheek. Everything was so simple back then, I didn’t have a care in the world. Now everything is so confusing. The picture faded and I ran down the stairs, not wanting to lose this Memory. I caught up and continued to watch it, we were done splashing and soaking wet. I shook my head spraying water everywhere, he flinched, then did the same. We laughed and went to put our shoes on. As I slipped mine on I saw my face grow white with pain. I jumped back, the crawdad flying back into the creek. I sat down, rubbing my foot while Alex rolled around in laughter. The Memory continued to fall and I struggled to keep up, still wanting to watch, but I couldn’t and it disappeared below. I looked up, there were still many more and I went to watch another one. I found another one including me and Alex. It was winter and we were both building snowforts. After we had finished we began throwing snowballs at each other, though it wasn’t long before we grew tired and settled on a truce. I found one in which we were both sitting in my living room, watching TV. He was sitting on the couch and I was lying on the floor. I walked over to the next one; Alex and I were at the table, drawing pictures with crayons. We both love to draw and would often have contests to see who was better. They were always close. I smiled and more tears rolled down my face.

The next one I saw was probably my favorite. We were at our favorite place to hang out; on the top of a hill under a lone tree. The sky was blue, the sun shining as clouds drifted in the distance. Alex was sitting against the trunk with his eyes closed and his arms behind his head. I was lying in the grass staring up at the sky. We would talk about so many different things there. Every once in a while I would point up at the sky and say something to him, he would come over, look up, say something, and resumed his earlier position. I continued to look at it, at us talking. We would do that for hours. I began to cry, I missed being a kid so much, not having to worry about anything. I drifted down lower and I made an effort to keep up, not wanting to let go of this one. I reached out to grab it and it shattered. In front of me was my Memory fragmented into hundreds of pieces. “No,” I said, now sobbing. The pieces glistened as they drifted down before fading altogether. I sat down, laying my sword next to me; I put my face into my hands and cried.

I don’t know how long I sat there but after a while I looked up to see a different memory. I was one that haunted me to this very day. It was the day that I was moving to Morrison. I was talking to Alex. Though I couldn’t hear anything, the words echoed in my head as if it was happening at that very moment.

“I guess this is goodbye,” I said, looking grim.

“I guess so,” Alex sighed, looking as sad as I was.

I looked up, “See you soon.”

He looked at me, “You promise?” He stuck his hand out.

“Yeah,” I said taking his hand and shaking, “I promise.”

We stood there a while, shaking hands until I let go and walked away. He shouted something and I turned around, “Just remember,” he yelled, “we’ll always have our memories.” I saw myself nod, turn, and continue to walk, if only I knew that that was the last time I would ever see Alex. The Memory faded into the distance and I sat there, that last sentence ringing in my ears, “Just remember, we’ll always have our memories.”



He was right.