Truly, Madly, Deeply......Forever.

It's 11:06pm and finally, I have time to think, time to feel, and time to reflect upon where I am at this very point in my life. I am sitting here noticing the moon full and shining bright, showcasing the greatness of this dreamy, snowy night as it delivers me graciously from the utter chaos of the day.

The tranquility around me is most unusual, but welcome as it presents no demands which I must fulfill. Peering through these large, frosty windows is like looking within a life-sized snow globe. I watch as snowflakes furiously blow about, then cling to life on the snow dusted trees or come to rest peacefully upon the blanketed landscape.

I positively adore the serenity of this scene, but nothing is so great as to quell the thoughts of you dancing about in my mind. Thoughts of you never fade, never become mundane, and never forsake me.

I am unsure as to whether or not you realize just how much I love you; how much I am committed to you; how much I care. I hold you so close to my heart that I can almost feel your heart beat. Please, know that as I say these words to you, it is for the first time in my life, right, correct and true.

Before my life was blessed with you, there was a storm of confusion that raged inside me, but now has subsided to a very comforting and focused calm. The unsettled feelings are gone. There is no doubt in my mind how I feel about you. I have never been more trusting in my feelings and in my thoughts. For the very first time in my life, I absolutely know what I want. I want you.

I have evidently loved (if it could even reasonably be graced with that title), but now I realize that I have never been truly “in love”... until you came into my life. Never have I known feelings for anyone else like the feelings that I have for you.

My eyes and heart are wide open with the reality of an unconditional and undying love before me that has substance, stamina, and truth. I am not even sure that you are ready to know everything that I feel and am about to say. I am taking the chance, anyway. I have to be open with you and there's not a more perfect day than today.

I cannot explain how or why our paths crossed, other than the fact that we are meant to be together. I am glad they did. I honestly believe that we are meant to be the dynamic team as we have been and continue to be. We are different enough to make things interesting and alike enough to succeed. We have a profound chemistry between us that is undeniable.

I love and respect you so much for the man that you are. I love, accept, and am so thankful for the man that you used to be, because it has molded you into the man that I will undoubtedly love, always and forever.

My thoughts on "forever" have respectfully evolved since our lives merged years ago. Forever, at one time, felt like a "life sentence" without the possibility of parole.

Now, when I think of "forever" as being by your side, forever just isn't long enough. I can tell you, with every ounce of sincerity contained within my being, that there is no place that I would rather be, than by your side. You are the man that I love, need and desire “forever.”

There is a special treasure for you buried deep within my heart waiting for the time that you will choose to uncover it. There are so many things that I would love to say, to do, to experience with you that our time together simply does not allow.

It is so unfair that fate couldn't have brought us together sooner in life in an uncomplicated way, especially when we could have likely crossed paths in other places and times before.

I love everything about you and I can honestly say that there is nothing about you that I would ever want to change. I love each and every inch of you in each and every way. You are uniquely perfect and I adore you each and every day.

I am so absolutely attracted to you; from the first moment I saw you, now, and ever more. I love to kiss your smile. Your eyes are captivating to the point that it is hard to look away. I love to taste your lips (among other great things) and feel your tongue caress mine. I simply love the fact that I can touch like you need to be touched and make you feel so good. It gives me so much pleasure to be able to relax you and to steal your stress and pain. I would do anything for you just to keep it all at bay.

I want nothing more than to please you and be there for you every day. I look forward to those moments and long for the days that we have time to be together, yet it’s difficult only get to be with you a short while, to love you, to kiss you and then go our separate ways.

You told me that we'll be together in a few years, but how I wish those few years could just become today. I have to tell you that sometimes it's very difficult to really need you and for you to be so very far away. I am strong, though, and I do believe that "someday" is not so far away. I feel that you want me with you, just as I do you. You spoke these things from your own lips and I believe and trust that you are being true.

I love the way you just know how I need to be touched. You melt me. I crave the way you touch me, the way you hold me, the way you gently slide your fingers inside me, the way you make me so wet and so ready for you to enter me as I take you so eagerly and tightly inside me. You just make me want to be on my knees totally submissive to you, pleasing you in every way.

To feel the force of you inside me is nothing less than spectacular as you awaken every emotion in my body. I can't help but feel the need to scream...with pleasure. It feels so damn good to feel you touch me so deep and to feel your explosion between my legs.

I need to have time to lie next to you, to be in your arms, to be entwined with you, to relax with you and make love with you again and again. When you're inside me, nothing else matters and that moment is so significant, because it sets us free.

You simply amaze me. You are my Superman. I trust and believe in your abilities and I believe that there's nothing that you couldn't do. Everything you do spells success. Everything you pour your heart into is beautiful. I admire your passion for so many things and you bring perfection into everything you do. You're so intelligent and you possess the ability to conquer obstacles that would force an ordinary man to quit.

Your capacity to love and to forgive touches my heart. You are a good man. You stand out from the rest and you shine bright like a star in the sky. You're not afraid of saying or doing what you feel, even if it goes against the grain.

It warms my heart to see you with children. Your caring way comes so naturally to you and to see a man in that light is so very refreshing. You are so unselfish. You are giving of yourself, your time, and your heart is kind. You cradle others with your protective nature and you make us all feel safe and guarded. I love "your way".

The way you make me feel is wonderfully complete. You make me feel loved and secure in our relationship. You encourage my talents and you strengthen my weaknesses. You are my rock. I want to thank you for all that you have done for me throughout the years. You have helped me and improved my life in ways that you may not even realize. You bring out the best in me.


I love you with all of my heart and soul. I am totally devoted to you and to being the woman by your side that helps to make your dreams come true. You mean the world to me and everything that matters to you...matters to me.

My dream is for us to have a happy life and I know in my heart that we possess what it takes to have that together. We have the right combination to make great things happen for us, as well as others. You and I work and play well together, as it is meant to be. We are intelligent, compatible, and we have the ambition to support each other's efforts. We have great chemistry. We have respect for each other. We have open communication with each other. That's what it takes to make it all happen and to withstand the treachery of life. These reasons make our union powerful.

I promise to love all of your children as my own, just as I feel certain that you will do the same. I want you to have everything you need in your life to be content and happy. I feel that you deserve that. I would never, ever, deny your happiness with your kids. I love you too much to ever hurt you or to hurt them like that.

Even though you told me first, I have loved you for an extremely long time and the connection that I feel to you is something so strong that these words couldn't possibly or adequately convey.

These are things that I needed you to know. Given our circumstances, I cannot possibly relay these things to you in any other way. Our time together always runs out too quickly and "our times" are too few and far between. To merely have a telephone conversation is almost impossible, so I just felt the need to write this for you.

I thank God every day for answering my prayer and bringing us together. I have never had an answer so fast and one so clear. I needed from you what you said to me that October day. It really changed my whole life. Loving you so deeply without really knowing how much or if you truly loved me in that way, was tearing at my heart. I have always known that you cared for me, but I am sure that you understand what I am trying to say. My heart and mind couldn't take it anymore. I had to know.

I know you don't really read much into this kind of stuff, but, I swear, 4 days before you called me and told me how you feel....I was crying and fell asleep praying for us. I pray for us all the time. I begged God to just give me a sign that would show me whether we were meant to be together or not, so that I could either move forward in the way that we should go, or simply get the idea of there being an "us" off of my mind. I needed so much for you to open up to me and you did. I was prepared for any answer, but I got the one that I was praying for.

The sweetest thing that I have ever known (besides having my baby) is when you told me that I am the best thing that's ever happened to you (besides your children, too) and when you told me that you would like for me to be your wife one day. God, that totally blew me away. I didn't expect to hear that, but you made my day....What am I saying? It made my life! To hear those words from you made me the happiest woman alive. I look forward to the day that I can actually say that I am your wife. My heart is invested and committed and totally devoted to you as if I were your wife. I just don't have the ability to be there for you in the manner that I want to be, because I have to always worry about showing obvious emotion. That is hard, because I do care and I do feel what I should feel for someone that I love so much, but I have to act like "oh Gosh" "Oh My" kind of uncaring, mindless bullshit to put on a good show. I am a good actress, but don't ever think that I don't hurt when you hurt, because I know and I do hurt. Most of the time, I know something is up before you even tell me.


I won't be a worthless wife that drains you and takes from you. My hopes and dreams for you and for us is to thrive. I will be the one working hand in hand with you and side by side, encouraging you and helping you to accomplish wonderful things in your life. The sky is the limit and you know that's true. It would take quite a lot to defeat "me and you".

I want good things for us.....not speaking of material things, either. I want and need the things that matter. I want a home with love, peace, respect, comfort and affection. I feel so alone in my house full of "things". It's a house. This house is not a home. It's cold. When you walk in, you don't get that feeling of welcome comfort and peace. You could cut the tension with a knife most of the time and that is just not what I want out of life. I want warmth, purpose, and meaning. I want sharing, caring, and understanding. I want to make and meet goals and joint dreams. I don't expect perfect...that would be merely setting yourself up for disaster. Besides, perfect would get really boring. There is no such thing as perfect, anyway. I know that. I am not expecting that at all.

I hope you know what I am trying to tell you. I am certainly not trying to dictate what I want. I want us to be happy and you cannot have a "cold-fish, one-sided, non-passionate relationship" and come out happy. From what you always tell me, you feel the same way. Things can get rough, but with love and true respect for the other person good will always prevail. There is something good for us. We just have to take it. I know you're not ready yet. I completely understand and I am not asking for you to do anything that doesn't feel right, but I wish I had taken you up on the 3 months offer, sometimes.

Now, I have the... "What if we had done it?" "Should we just have done it?" I think it's the "what if" syndrome. It was three months, then and year and now it's up to about 3 years left now. Like I said. I am not going to push you and I know that you weren't in the state of mind to make a life changing decision on the day you said "three months" and I wasn't about to let you do something like that in that state of mind. Like I said, I love you and I don't want you to hurt. I don't want you to ever regret loving me. I want to be totally supportive to you. I want us to be togehter and I won't lie to you...I want to be with you sooner than three years. I really feel like I need to be with you sooner than three years. I do, however, want it to be right, becasue I want us to be happier than we have ever been before. So, I guess, it will happen as it should and we will know the time when it's time. It is just so complex, isn't it?

You know, when I was without you for that short, insane while.... nothing was right. It seemed like an eternity in Hell when I was without you. There was a constant misery torturing my existance every moment that I was away, but it made me realize that I never want to be without you ever again.You breathe life and strength into me.

Everything I do for this business...I do for only you.. to help you and to take some of the stress off of your shoulders. I don't know how you do what you do. I try not to be needy, because everyone seems to pull you in every possible direction. I try to take some of it off of you. I am not sure how much I actually help, but I do try with your well being in mind. Thanks for always being there for me even after being tugged in all directions. You are always there and I truly appreciate you.

I just pray to God that I mean to you everything that you mean to me. I aspire to be for you everything that you need for me to be.

I just want you to know how happy I am to simply share life with you! I feel like I have been blessed with your love. I swear, I love you more each day.

Happy Valentines Day!

I Love You Truly, Madly, Deeply…………….Forever!

*** Next Part Added After Our Conversation Today.


It mortified me today when you told me that you spent a week in the hospital last year and I didn't even know it. I felt so bad that I wasn't there for you. I already haven't been able to forgive myself for what I did. Now, I am absolutely ill that I hurt you when you needed me the most. I hate myself for that. I am really ashamed of myself for doing what I did. Medicine or not... I have to own that. I was wrong and I hope that you can forgive me. I am sorry, but sorry just doesn't get it on something like that. I don't know what I could ever do to make that right. I can't. If I could turn back time...If I do that I would. I have to live with the fact that I hurt you like that and there's nothing I can do to take it back. I am so, so, sorry to have done that. I have really been upset today, because I hurt you so bad. I can't stand the thought that I really and truly hurt you. I just can't stand it. I am so sorry.

I really don't know how I would handle it if you were to go into the hospital again. I would have to be with you. I don't know how you would want me to handle it, but I know I couldn't stay away and do the mindless "oh my god" act. There's a time and place for that nonsence, but with something of that serious nature...my acting days would be over. Someone would have to physically remove me. The only way that I would leave you is if you personally asked me to and only then, out of respect for you would I do so. If anyone else asked me, there would be absolutely no way. I would sleep in the damn floor for as long as it took. I would call someone in to take care of my son and that would be that. I would face whatever I had to face later. I couldn't live with myself if I just left you like that.

I literally walked the floor when you went to the emergency room with your arm and when your blood pressure was elevated and you were there for eight hours, I was ill. I was pacing. I had thrown up. Nobody called me, because I am not supposed to matter. They don't know. They have no reason to think of me. I was forced to do the "oh well..oh my goodness" thing. I got to myself and then fell apart in private. I couldn't concentrate. It was like I lost my mind. I "went to the post office" because I was crying. I am sorry, but that is how much I care and I am telling you that the hospital issue wouldn't be an issue, because I would have to be there. If that's wrong, I am sorry. If that is not your wishes, please, tell me. The only reason why I even am mentioning it is, because I was made aware of the possibility and have thought about it all day.