Another Year

I have watched another year slip away
That means I am another year older
Yes its my birthday
Where did the time go?
It feels like the years are short
Flying by way to fast or
is it I’m busy and I don’t slow down to smell the roses?
In the last few weeks I have had the time
To think, reflect, to analyze
Where my past, present and future is going
What I see isn’t pretty
I have had some major losses
Without these I would not have grown as a person
I have had some great loves
The joy I received from these
Can’t be taken away
The present time I find myself confused, struggling to find my place in time
what is my roll in life?
Loneliness, heartbroken, bewildered at times,
Angry, a little bitter, shocked and amazed,
Big hearted, giddy like a school boy, nervous,
Just thinking to much!!
What the future will hold I don’t have a clue
I am going to take it one day at a time
Like with my M.S.
What is out there for me?
Love, compassion, tenderness
Or am I looking in the wrong direction?
I don’t know
That’s life!!

This past year I have had major battles
I watched my girlfriend die
I helped pack up the stuff from the house
Moving back to my moms cos I didn’t have anywhere to turn
Holiday blues
Making new friends and possible relationships
Naw it just seems just friends
Broken cars to feeling alone
Wishing that my life was better,
alittle more stress-free
working on getting out of debt,
trying to get ahead for once
which I find isn’t easy
the one thing that I know for the future is I am going to watch Lorelei grow-up.
This little girl now is two
She means the world to me!
My little angel on earth !

This golden birthday that I just had WOW!!
I didn’t feel golden or special
I was myself
Just older
I can’t believe that I am this old
People look at me and guess my age
Its kind of funny to hear their response
Age ranging from mid 20’s to mid 40’s
Wow is right
Is it my looks or my actions the way I present myself or something else
A big kid at heart and the little kids can see that.
I’m a lover not a fighter
Because I am caring and listen well people come to me to vent, to share feelings
I just take it all in
I don’t question why I am this way
It just gets to me sometimes
I think it does say sucker on my fore head !
Just joking not really haha

As the years pass
I am finding out what is really important in life
That seems to be some great friends, Love
And time to take a step back and just watch!!