Where You Belong - Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Finally they were onboard. It took a bit of shoving and shouting, but they were one step closer to getting to England now. In the fuss surrounding the fire and general chaos of the world situation they had no problem getting on even though both of them didn’t have their passport.

Xan still carried the hawk on his arm when they reached the room they would be in for the weeklong voyage to England. Now that Julia was feeling better and the danger was gone he decided to let his companion go. He closed his eyes, concentrated and the hawk disappeared with another flash of green.

‘Goodbye…’ Xan whispered.

‘Goodbye, my Lord,’ echoed in his mind.

‘Xan?’ Julia asked, ‘T-There’s only a d-double sized bed here…’ She trailed off, looking at the tips of her feet.

‘What am I going to do? He’ll think I don’t like him if I say something… It’s just… if we sleep in the same bed… what if I have another nightmare… but if we don’t… I’ll get scared and…’

‘Oh, I guess that’s because it was supposed to be a married couple’s room and they’d probably wanna sl… Oh,’ he stopped suddenly.

‘Yeah…’ Julia muttered, still examining her shoes.

‘Julie, don’t worry. If you’d feel uncomfortable sleeping in the same bed, I’ll just sleep on the floor, it’s no biggie,’ Xan reassured her., ‘I’ll be close in case you need me.’

‘I’d feel g-great… j-just…’

‘I know. It’s ok; we’ll wait a while. The fact that we don’t sleep in the same bed doesn’t mean we don’t love each other,’ he smiled at his choice of words, ‘and I love you,’ it still sounded unreal.

‘I still can’t believe how kind he can be. And he loves me! Me out of all people!’

‘I love you too,’ she said, without any trace of her stutter.

‘Ok, so lets put our stuff somewhere and then we can go to the dining room for lunch,’ Xan said in a matter-of-fact-ly voice.

‘L-like a d-date?’ Julia blushed, her stutter back in full.

‘Yeah, our first date,’ Xan smiled, ‘Unless you don’t want to…’ he teased.

‘Of-of course I do!’ now her face lit up like a star. ‘I, um I never had a date with anyone before.’

‘Oh my, I don’t even know what to say. Is there something I should do? Is there like a ‘first date’ tradition? Is he going to think I’m stupid because I don’t know?’ She was babbling even in her mind.

‘Julia… you have to stop worrying. Love is a beautiful thing, a beautiful thing that doesn’t include worrying about silly little things. Always do what you think is right. No, what you feel is right. And it will always be fine. Ok?’

At this Julia leaned over and kissed Xan. ‘Ok!’

The kiss must have lasted less than a second. It was gone as fast as it came, but the sensation remained.

‘Lets go then!’ Xan smiled and linked his hand with hers.

Soon after, they were sitting opposite each other in one of the ship’s many restaurants. This was a particularly beautiful one, decorated with ancient maps and treasures. It was very dimly lit and the calm and relaxing atmosphere fitted the situation perfectly. Xan was enthralled by Julia’s deep and magnificent pools of blue, as the sparse light from the candles between them made little dances on her face. Xan was so focused on his beautiful companion, that he didn’t notice the waiter who patiently waited for Xan to get his share of examining her beauty.
Julia, on the other hand, was a bit confused, not being used to so much attention. She fidgeted in her chair, but the thought of Xan’s eyes following trails over her was causing her stomach to make flip-flops. Why couldn’t she just disappear?

‘He’ll realize eventually I am not the one he wants. I wish he’d stop looking at me, he’s gonna notice that I’m really not beautiful, that he’s just been idealizing me.’

Xan quickly ordered, as he sensed that something was wrong. He knew that leaving Julia quiet for so long would lead to negative thinking. How could he convince her that she really was everything he said? That she was adorable, sweet and…

‘Ok, enough! I’m sitting here, thinking how cute she is, while God knows what’s going on in her pretty… Enough!!’

Whatever he tried, he knew his thoughts would always stray to Julia, and there wasn’t the time for that.

‘What’s wrong sweetie?’ he tried.

‘N-Nothing, I’m f-fine…’ Julia lied.

‘Sweetie, it’s ok to worry. You can tell me anything. I’ll support you and wont judge. I know something is wrong, you get that sweet concerned look on your face,’ Xan joked.

‘I-I still can’t b-believe all of this, that’s all…’

‘Is it that hard to believe?’ Xan trailed off, not realizing Julia meant the world taking a downward spiral, not their relationship.

Julia sat silently, wondering how Xan could have thought all the monsters, the events at the prison and docks could be easy to understand.

‘It’s me, isn’t it, I’m rushing it right?’ Xan frowned.

‘Rushing things? What? What’s he…’
When no answer followed, he assumed it was true.
He didn’t know what to think, but it was devastating. She didn’t believe in their love…

‘N-N-no!’ Julia finally got it, ‘Xan, I l-love you.’ she began to mumble something and a lonely tear made its way down her cheek. ‘I meant the world…’

‘You see, you can’t even talk properly. Now he wont believe that you love him,’ she told herself.

Xan cursed himself. How could he be so stupid? He hurt her again…

He got up quickly and cupped Julia’s face in his hands.

‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry Sweetie. I just. I just thought that you meant. It doesn’t matter,’ he stopped himself to calm his stirring emotions, ‘Julie, I’m just as scared as you about all this chaos. Everybody is. That’s nothing to be ashamed of.’ How could he make up for his blunder? ‘Come, we’ll sit together, ok? Please?’

How could she say no? She sat on his lap and put her arms around Xan. A smile returned when Xan playfully rocked her and spread kisses along the back of her neck.

‘I love you,’ he whispered.

‘M-Me too,’ Julia smiled.

Lunch turned to dinner as Xan and Julia spent most of the afternoon much too obsessed with each other to pay any attention to their food. Xan then carried Julia back to the cabin and carefully put her down on the bed. He smiled when he realized she fell asleep on the way. She was so adorable when she was asleep…

‘Not that she isn’t adorable while awake though,’ he reasoned with himself and smiled at the thought of justifying his own thoughts.

He removed a spare blanket from the closet and lay on the floor, falling asleep almost instantly. It was a great day that seemingly demanded a sweet set of dreams.

Julia woke up at around midnight, far from rested, but missing something. She didn’t have to look far to realize what. Xan. Suddenly she felt a bit guilty, seeing him sleeping all alone on the floor. She had to hold back her tears as she looked upon his sleeping frame.

‘I don’t deserve someone like him. He’s tried so hard and I’m just a big dork, always afraid, always jumping to the wrong conclusions, and now I’ve probably hurt him.’

She slowly climbed off the bed and lay down next to Xan on the floor. He was lying on his side, facing the wall so she just cuddled against his back and put an arm around him possessively. She watched him shuffle into a more comfortable position, and was warmed to feel him hold the hand in his own subconsciously. In his comfort she slowly began drifting off to a world far away.

Xan was surprised to wake up with Julia’s next to him and a soft hand linked with his.

He had to admit that he was a bit sad going to sleep last night not being able to lie down next to Julia on the bed, but this made it all up to him. She was so small and fragile, yet her touch was stronger; in its way, than that of a powerful warrior. It had the strength to soothe, to relax, and anyone lucky enough to experience it was sure to be mesmerized.

Xan hadn’t awoken in such peace and happiness for a very long time. In fact he couldn’t remember if he ever had before. He wanted to lie there forever, with his love sleeping and at peace.

Suddenly Julia began to stir. She squeezed his hand so that it turned white, mumbling a couple of words Xan didn’t understand. He didn’t know what to do, so he just turned to face her, gently held her hands and whispered soothing words into her ear. It had immediate effect. Julia relaxed and soon after, timidly opened her eyes. They had the remains of tears and she immediately hid her face behind the covers.

‘Sweetie, it’s ok… I’m here, I’m with you,’ he whispered and motioned to remove the blanket, but she shuffled away.

Whatever progress he had thought he made to rid his beloved of her fears and extremely sadistic ways of her parents, was lost. There was always a trigger, something small, but seemingly important to start her off.

She was now breathing really fast, this time Xan had the feeling it was something much more serious. He wasn’t used to comforting, or let alone even being able to comfort others. Such inexperience usually left him wondering what to do. What was appropriate in such a situation? Did he even have the right to comfort her? To ask what had happened?

‘Julia, I wont hurt you. Believe me… please.’

‘I wish I could, oh God I wish I could just close my eyes and believe all of this is true. But it can’t be. It’s all a dream; I’m imagining everything, just like the man from the mental institute is saying. None of this is true, he said. I collapsed after the tragedy at the school. Now I just created this fake world to…’

Her mind was silenced by a hug from Xan. She was concentrating so hard she didn’t even see him.

‘Oh Xan… Can I be imagining all of this? Nobody could ever treat me like you. It’s all a dream… A dream the man said I had to wake from one day…’

‘Sweetie… What is it? Tell me, please. I’m worried about you.’

He waited silently. Minutes turned to hours, the sun was beginning to rise and golden strings of light were beginning to penetrate the room, but still she didn’t reply. All he could do was hold her tighter, afraid she might disappear. Determination crept back into his face. It was time to do something, time to help the girl he loved.

He stood up and in one swift motion picked Julia up. He sighed a sigh of relief when she didn’t resist, and on the contrary put an arm around his neck. She still felt very weak, so Xan was extremely careful. He kissed the top of her head and opened the door of the cabin.
People watched them everywhere, they were used to that, but this time it was with approval, not hatred. The people here didn’t know them, didn’t judge. All they saw was a concerned Xan and a tired Julia.

He carried her to one of the pools; it was empty as it was still too early, but that was exactly what he had planned. He sat her on the side of the pool and smiled as she removed her shoes and quietly watched her toes beneath the water surface.

She was still very sad, but when she noticed Xan was going away a new frown filled her face.

Xan noticed the change and was happily moved, that he had such an effect on such a beautiful girl.

‘Don’t worry sweetie, I’m not going anywhere.’
He stopped at the door and braced it with a broom that lay nearby.

‘Let the show begin!’ he thought.

Julia sat and wondered what was going on, doubt and anxiety still having the better of her.

Xan returned now, smiling. He then closed his eyes and knelt beside her. For a while nothing happened and Julia began wondering if he wasn’t waiting for her to do something and just when she was going to ask she was interrupted by a strange noise.

While Xan gave out a quiet sigh of exhaustion, Julia’s jaw dropped as she saw a beautiful pair of dolphins emerge from the pool right in front of her.

They returned to their cabin many hours later, when Xan was starting to lose control over the beautiful creatures. They were both completely wet, but what did it matter? They were happy…
Xan realized it probably wasn’t the best idea to exploit his powers in such a way, but it was the only thing he could think of at that moment, and it had worked!