Secret Identity

Secret Identity
by
E.E. Coder

It wasn’t the sights, smells or sensations of a nubile teenage girl that disturbed Josh’s dreams at night. No, it wasn’t something that simple that set Josh to tossing and turning in his bed, he desperately wished it were though.

The incessant clanging of the alarm clock penetrated his consciousness. Slapping the back of the shrilly irritating clock he struggled to regain the dream that was so cruelly chased away by the intrusion of reality. Slowly he ground his pelvis, rubbing up and down against the mattress, drifting ever so sweetly back to the sights and sounds of his own wondrous fantasy.

“JOSH GROGAN,” his mother called from downstairs. “get yourself up and into that shower young man. Hurry up now, or you won’t have time for breakfast before the school bus gets here.”

“Ok, OK,” Josh groaned again, his dream fading away. He rolled over tossed the blankets back and sat up on the edge of the bed. “Jeeze mom, you ought to get a job as a drill instructor!”

With a long stretch and a deep sigh he stood up, stumbling towards the bathroom, his erection beginning to fade along with the sweet images imprinted on his brain. He had hoped that he could keep the excitement going while he showered, maybe even get in a quick jack off, but a glance at the clock showed him that he probably wouldn’t have enough time.

Normally Josh took his time in the mornings, not caring if he was late to study hall, but today was the last day of school. The last day of school before summer anyway, starting tomorrow he could sleep in as long as he wanted, enjoying his fantasies as long as he cared to. Best of all he wouldn’t have to put up with any crap from that damn Mark Newton or any of those jerks that hung around with him either. Josh would have the comfort and safety of his own house for three solid months. Plus with his mom working nights and the odd double shift at the hospital, he would be pretty much on his own which suited him just fine.

Stripping off his pajamas Josh took a long critical look at himself in the mirror. His blonde hair had the slightly tousled style most of his fellow teens worked so hard to perfect but seemed to just fall easily into place for him. His sparkling blue eyes the color of a young Paul Newman, his slightly olive toned skin the envy of sun worshipping teen girls everywhere. Still Josh didn’t think of himself as handsome, being as self conscious as any teenage boy.

Josh glanced down at his still semi-erect penis, taking time to admire the look of it. The more he looked and admired the harder it became, he was sure that it had grown since the last time he had measured it. Turning sideways he was gratified to see how much it jutted upwards, he was positive it had definitely grown. Making a note to find the ruler, Josh flexed his tightly toned chest grinning at himself in the mirror.

“Yeah buddy, you’re looking pretty good!” he laughed at himself “Must be Superman under those pajamas, his secret identity exposed!” Turning to the shower he adjusted the taps to get the water just right, taking a quick glance back at the mirror he was struck by how good his backside looked too.

“Hahaha Josh you ARE a pervert,” he laughed to himself. “no wonder the other kids think you’re weird!”

Although he could laugh at himself here in the safety of his own house, like any other kid Josh feared the laughs and comments of his peers. In fact Josh was pretty much a normal ever day kind of kid in all ways. Growing up in a small town in the Fifties he played with trucks and guns and all of the stuff little boys do, easily making friends then.

Josh smiled a little, remembering those days with fondness. Yeah, Timmy and I sure had a lot of fun back then.

Josh and his mother had been sitting on the front porch enjoying the afternoon breeze that hot summer day, when they saw the large Bekins truck maneuver it’s way back up the driveway next door. Stepping into the shower, Josh shook his head and laughed again as he remembered the funny looking little kid trailing shyly behind his mother, his soon to be best friend in those pre-school days Timmy Johnson.

Timmy’s mom needed to use the phone because Timmy’s dad still hadn’t made it and she was concerned that he may have had trouble. After making the introductions the two mothers went to the kitchen for a cup of coffee leaving the two boys to size each other up.

“I have a pet rat.” bragged the little stranger. “His name is Arnold and he can do tricks!” This information intrigued young Josh, his own mother didn’t allow pets especially anything so exotic as a rat.

“Oh yeah?” countered Josh. “I bet I can spit farther than you can.” Demonstrating his prowess, Josh proudly cleared his throat bringing up a gob of phlegm, tilting his head back slightly he propelled it across the sidewalk.

“Wow, that’s pretty good!” laughed Timmy, forcefully clearing his own sinuses, bringing up a tremendous green glob. Standing on his tiptoes he propelled it as far as he could, not quite matching Josh’s distance. The initial shyness overcome, the boys raced off so Josh could show Timmy the neat tree house he had in his backyard. By the end of that first day the two of them were fast friends, remaining best friends until the fourth grade. Eventually they picked up different interest and somehow drifted apart even though Timmy still lived right next door.

Timmy and he had done the usual experimentation with just about everything that normal little boys experiment with back then. They had their first, (and Josh’s only), cigarettes at about age 7, stolen from Timmy’s mom’s purse. Not long after that, had explored the mysteries of their own and each other’s bodies skinny dipping down at the river, even inviting Mary Collins to the tree house one warm afternoon to delve into the mysteries of girls. Josh hadn’t really thought much of that little diversion, but Timmy seemed to enjoy it almost as much as Mary had.

Later that same summer the two boys had overheard a couple of older kids talking about “queers and faggots” and had discussed that for a whole afternoon up in the tree house.

“What is a queer anyway?” Wondered Josh. “Is a faggot something different, or what?”

“Ryan said queers kiss and suck on each other’s weenies” Timmy in a shocked stage whisper. “He said they stick their weenies into each other’s butts too! Timmy made a face and clutched his backside. “I think maybe faggots are girls that do the same thing!” Unlike Josh, Timmy had an older brother and a younger sister so quite often Timmy had the lowdown on just about any subject, especially it seemed, about things pertaining to sex.

“Girls don’t have weenies so what would they stick in their butts?” Josh remembered that Mary didn’t have a weenie, so maybe that was why they were called something different. Josh was beginning to think that things that had to do with sex were pretty strange, but given the choice he thought maybe he would rather be a “queer” than be a “faggot”. He didn’t think it would be much fun to kiss a girl and they didn’t have anything to suck on like boys did.

“Man, I can’t wait until I get older,” Timmy laughed rubbing his penis briskly through his pants. “so I can kiss girls and stick my weenie into them! Do you think maybe we can get Mary to come over tomorrow to play?”

“Why would you want to kiss a dumb old girl and stick your weenie in her butt?” Josh asked quite shocked. “Girls are so gross, yuck!”

“Hahaha ya dummy,” Timmy had howled. “you don’t stick your weenie into their butts! With girls you stick it into their pussies! That’s how you make babies ya idiot!”

Josh had digested this information quietly, thinking to himself that somehow having someone suck on his weenie didn’t sound all that bad. Josh even thought about asking Timmy if he would like to try sucking on his weenie, he wasn’t too sure he would like having someone stick their weenie in his rear end though. Remembering the laughs and hoots of derision that had accompanied the older boys “queers and faggots” discussion he had decided to keep quiet.

It wasn’t Josh that brought it up though, Timmy’s voice dropped to a whisper causing Josh to roll over closer to hear him. “Say, I wonder what it feels like having someone suck on it? We never tried that.”

“Wanna try it?” Josh asked, hoping that Timmy would say yes but at the same time kind of afraid he might. All of a sudden Josh’s stomach felt a little funny, feeling like his legs would be to weak to stand up if he tried.

“Right now?” Timmy asked, his legs and tummy feeling funny too. “Sure why not, it might feel pretty good. I sure ain’t gonna kiss you though.” Timmy was absent mindedly still rubbing his penis, forgetting for the moment the laughter of the older boys.

That was Josh’s first sexual experience, although it really consisted of no more than the two boys giving each other’s penis’ a self conscious quick lick and rub. After that day the two boys never did it again and didn’t talk about it any more either. Within the next year or so Josh started playing Little League baseball as well as being involved with other sports while Timmy seemed to prefer hanging out with the older boys and girls. As the boys drifted their own ways, Josh began to realize a little secret of his own, troubling him a great deal.

Josh found himself thinking about that day in the tree house off and on over the years, not so much as thinking about Timmy but the experience itself. He knew that Timmy wasn’t a queer and he didn’t think he was either then, still the thoughts would drift through his mind. As Josh got older his penis would get hard sometimes when he thought about that day, especially as he lay in bed late at night. Josh never asked Timmy though, to see if maybe he felt the same way, somehow he just knew that Timmy didn’t. Josh was afraid if he ever did ask, he would get that hoot and laughter that he remembered from the older boys. Timmy was usually hanging out with some of those same boys now, as well as a few rough girls that wore a lot of makeup and smoked cigarettes.

Josh didn’t think about Mary at all during those late nights in bed, though she had grown into quite a nubile young beauty. No, Josh didn’t think at all about soft female flesh, even thinking about her sucking on his penis didn’t excite his interest. He sure didn’t want to stick his penis in her vagina, and her backside was way too soft for his tastes. No, what Josh thought about late at night laying in his bed were strong muscled men with hard thick penis’, well developed muscled asses clenching. He would sometimes slowly stroke his hard penis dreaming about thrusting it in and out of those asses. One thing else Josh knew, he knew that he wasn’t about to tell anyone else about what he thought about at night.

That was a problem for Josh, he had no one at all to tell these things to. Josh’s parents had divorced when he was ten years old, his father moving two states away in pursuit of a new job. Though they wrote sporadic letters back and forth for awhile, his dad soon remarried, he even had two other children now.

Josh’s mother hadn’t remarried, she didn’t seem to feel the need to have another man around the house. When anyone asked her about it she just laughed and said. “Joshie could take care of her, besides she worked long hours at the hospital, she didn’t have time for men!”

As a result, Josh never got the father son sex talk with his dad. Bringing up the subject of sex and his dreams with his mother was out of the question! Though his mother was a nurse and she had insisted that Josh know and use all of the proper names for body parts, she wouldn’t allow him to call his penis a weenie, that women had vagina’s, not pussies. Still, talking to her about sex was uncomfortable.

“A pussy is a cat,” she would tell him “and a cock is a male chicken! We have no animals under our clothes young man!” With that she would laugh, ruffle his hair and lesson done, send him outside to play. Satisfied that he was growing up to be a fine young man. It never occurred to her to discuss sex with her “baby”.

That was what his mother was always telling him, he was a fine young man with a great long future ahead of him. As Josh got older his mind drifted more and more to the outside world and his desire to get out where no one knew him, where he would be free to discover who and what he really was. Josh thought about leaving a lot, his mother would tell him stories sometimes while they sat on the porch, about her days in college, about how much fun it was.

“There’s a whole big world out there Joshie.” she would say quietly. Her eyes glowing with remembered exciting times, fun times, before she married that good for nothing Bob Grogan. “All you have to do is work hard in school, keep your grades up, stay out of trouble. You’ll see, someday you will see and do great things.” Josh always got a tingle on those evenings, listening to her stories. For now though Josh kept quiet, not even talking to his mother about what he thought about on those long lonely nights in his bedroom.

“Josh! Are you out of that shower yet?” his mother banging on the bathroom door startled Josh out of his daydream “Come on Joshie, get a move on will you?”

“Ok, ok, mom, jeeze” Josh turned off the rapidly cooling shower. “I’m coming already!”

“Ok then, get with it young man,” laughed his mother. “breakfast is on the table let’s go! If you can get done in twenty minutes I have time to drive you to school.”

“Great mom,” Josh hollered rubbing himself down briskly with the towel. “I’ll be right there!”

That WAS great news, now Josh could avoid having to ride the school bus and going through the usual torment that awaited him on those trips to and from school. At least he could avoid it for the next three months anyway and who knows, maybe next year things would be different.

Josh had an uncharitable thought. “Maybe that asshole Mark will get run over by his grandfather’s combine this summer,” he frowned to himself. “and then I won’t have to put up with his teasing anymore!”

Josh knew that was probably a vain hope, even though Mark and his friends worked at Mark’s grandfather’s farm every summer they weren’t usually allowed to do anything too dangerous. Besides, Mark wasn’t the only one who teased him, even if he was usually the instigator. Josh knew that such thoughts were unchristian and he immediately regretted even thinking about something that terrible. He had taken a lot of abuse from Mark and his friends this past year, but for now Josh would keep the unchristian thoughts to himself, he was getting good at keeping things to himself.

Josh and Mark Newton had met Josh’s first day of Little League practice, Josh had been on his way to the baseball diamond and his path had taken him past the old McMullen place just two blocks from his own home. Josh was hurrying along brimming with excitement when he spied a lone boy tossing a baseball up into the air, in the yard of the big old house. What really caught Josh’s interest was that he was catching it with a brand new Spalding glove. Josh’s own glove was getting pretty worn and he had been hinting to his mom that was what he wanted for his upcoming birthday, he was curious to get a feel of it if he could.

“Hi,” Josh called out, almost making the boy drop the ball as it was coming down. “Neat mitt you got there!”

“Hi yourself,” the boy had almost sneered, quickly covering it with a smile. “yeah my dad got this for me just yesterday.”

“Are you going to go out for the team?” Josh wondered, he was in a hurry but stopped to lean against the fence separating them.

The new kid trotted up to his side of the fence. “What team, sandlot baseball?” He really did sneer this time.

“No, real Little League! Sign ups and practice begins today.” Josh smiled “I’m on my way over there right now, in fact I’m going to be late if I don’t get going.”

“Where at?” the kid asked. “I might come along and see what kind of players this hick town has.”

“Down behind the high school,” Josh said “ hurry and ask your mom if you can go with me, but we got to go now, we don’t want to be late.”

“I don’t have to ask my mom anything,” sneered the boy again. “come on I’ll race you, I’m pretty fast so you better keep up!”

Easily vaulting over the fence the kid laughed and took off, Josh following pretty close behind him. Josh would have won the race if Mark hadn’t cut in front of him giving him a shove just as they reached the diamond. That was the new kid’s name Mark Newton, Josh found that out looking over his shoulder during the sign ups. Mark turned out to be a pretty good baseball player too, by the end of practice Coach Jenkins was working with him on the pitcher’s mound. Josh had wanted to try out as pitcher himself but Coach assigned him to first base, this began the small rivalry between the two boys.

After practice Josh was tired but thrilled to be on a real baseball team! The coach had said he was a pretty good first baseman, even telling him he seemed to be a “natural”, Josh couldn’t wait to get home and tell his mom how well it had went.

“Hey kid!” Josh turned and saw Mark jogging after him. “Wait up and I’ll walk with you.” Mark puffed as he reached him. The boys had done a lot of running in practice, so they soon slowed to an ambling walk.

“Hey Mark,” Josh smiled, “Coach kept us working pretty hard, huh? It looks like we might have a pretty good team.”

“Oh? Did you think so?” Mark blew a raspberry and laughed. “Well, all right I guess, for a hick town team of sissies. I don’t think that dufus coach knows anything about baseball, but I guess with me on the pitcher’s mound the team can’t mess up too much!”

Josh was startled to hear the way Mark was talking, during practice it seemed like Mark was having a great time. Josh himself thought Coach Jenkins was a great coach and he was grateful that he had given him some extra attention when he had a little difficulty with ground balls.

“Oh yeah,” Josh smiled “you seemed to have a pretty good curve going there by the end of practice. I think yeah, we should do pretty well, the whole team looked pretty good I thought.”

“Hahaha well if you ever learn how to stop a ground ball, maybe.” Mark laughed, Josh had thought he detected a little bit of cruelty in that laugh. Josh himself thought he had done ok after Coach had worked with him on the grounders, only missing one of the ten or so Coach had hit his way at the end of the day. The rest of the team had done real well Josh thought considering it was only the first day of practice.

“Say,” Mark said. “how about we go to my house and get some cokes, maybe I can work with you a little on your grounders, you need it.”

Josh was tired and pretty excited to get home to tell his mom how well things had gone, but he WAS pretty thirsty and he knew he did need to work on his grounders.

“Okay sure,” he smiled “for a bit, but I got to get home pretty soon it will be dark in a little while and mom will worry.”

“Oh?” Mark sneered again. “The little sissy boy has to get home to his MOMMY?”

“No, that’s not it,” Josh protested, puzzled by Mark’s attitude. “it’s going to be dark soon and almost supper time.”

“Oh forget it,” Mark turned away as they reached his house. “hurry on home to your mommy, faggot. You don’t want to be outside when the boogeyman comes out, hahahaha.”

“No, wait,” Josh began “I can stay for a few minutes, I just got to get home soon is all.” Josh couldn’t believe how quickly Mark could change from a somewhat nice guy, to the next moment a real jerk.

“I said forget it,” Mark growled vaulting the fence. “I got better things to do then help you anyway!”

“Well okay,” Josh said “see you at practice tomorrow, maybe we can walk together again.”

“Yeah well,” Mark sneered. “if I want someone to walk with me maybe I’ll find one of the first graders, they probably aren’t afraid of the dark like some homo. Hahahaha.”

Josh stiffened his back and turned to confront Mark over the fence. “I ain’t no homo, what are you talking about?”

“Hahahaha, are you going to cry now?” Mark’s cruel laughter came again. “Homo, HOMO, HOMO, faggot!”

Josh HAD thought briefly about inviting Mark to come to his house with him for a snack or something, it didn’t look like anyone was at home in that big old dark house and it was getting close to suppertime. Looking at Mark standing in front of the big old dark house laughing and calling him names for no reason had puzzled Josh, his compassion quickly faded. Angry but cautious, Josh couldn’t figure what Mark’s problem was, but thought it was best to go home.

Josh remembered striding off down the block, the anger flowing over him so strongly that he literally shook. Josh thought about what had happened a lot after that. Josh knew that he was different from the other boys, doubting that the other boys had the same late night thoughts he did. If any of the other boys did, no one talked about it. Josh knew that yes he was probably a faggot, but he also knew that he had been very careful not to show any thoughts like that to anyone. No one knew, not for sure, they couldn’t! So why had Mark said those things? Could he somehow see something? Some giveaway that Josh couldn’t hide? Could he see somehow into Josh’s mind? He didn’t think so, but after that Josh vowed to be even more extra careful.

This friction went on between the two of them for the next four years, Mark being continually cruel and taunting Josh just about every day about one thing or another. Josh learned a little about Mark over time, he heard that Mark and his family had moved here from Fremont, a much larger city north of here. He heard too that Mark’s dad was some kind of big shot salesman, but that he was hardly ever home, spending most of his time on the road. Mark’s mother spent a lot of time “out”. The whispers were that sometimes she didn’t come home alone. Mark’s dad had moved them here to get them out of the city. Mark’s grandfather owned a large farm outside of town so Mark’s dad had moved them here.

Most times the taunts had to do with Mark insinuating that Josh was a “queer”, sometimes the taunts and teasing would be about Josh about not having a dad or that maybe his mother was some kind of lesbian or a whore. Josh, on his part tried to live his life as carefully and “normally” as he could, never quite understanding why Mark seemed to single him out. He had always been a pretty good athlete, most of his coaches claiming he had a God given talent. Josh proved them right too, going out for three sports every year. He was a great first baseman during little league, carrying that along into his high school career well enough that he may well earn a scholarship by the time he finished high school. Also a terrific forward on the basketball team, the team going to the state playoffs last year, he even played first string tight end on the football team.

Josh had some friends in school but no one close, he tended to be somewhat of a loner. He had comradeship with his teammates maybe, but no one he really cared about or who cared for him. His slim athletic build and surfer boy good looks sent most of the girls dreaming of what might be if they could only nail him down. Josh was always friendly with the girls, even going to school dances a few times, once even with his old friend Mary. Josh gave a small shudder when he remembered THAT particular night, he and Mary had stepped outside for some cool night air and Mary had dragged him over to a darker corner where the school chaperones weren’t so apt to pay attention.

Wrapping her arms around him, Mary had snuggled in close, whispering into his ear, “Say Joshie, why don’t we take off for a while.” she breathed “We could go down behind the bleachers, maybe if you’re a good boy I could suck on your weenie even, it would be just like old times.”

Josh was pretty shocked, he knew that Mary tended to be a little wild since she entered high school, but this was pretty strong for a fourteen year old girl. Josh also remembered what they had done while they were kids, Mary had never sucked HIS weenie, Timmy must have went back to her on his own. He had struggled to figure out some way turn her down without arousing any suspicion, knowing he couldn’t go along with her suggestion. Luckily for him the vice-principal had come along right then looking for kids sneaking cigarettes.

“All right you two,” Mr. Johnson had growled “come on out of the shadows, either get back inside to the dance or go home.”

Mary had been pretty pissed off about that, but she knew better than to argue with the vice-principal, so she had stomped back into the dance not getting a chance to smoke anything, not even Josh. Josh had breathed a deep sigh of relief after that episode and he was careful from then on to only ask girls out who he knew had deep religious objections to pre-marital sex or who were clearly not interested in him.

“Josh, JOOOSH?” his mother called impatiently, startling Josh out of his daydream again.“Well young man, you messed around long enough that now you are going to have to catch the bus. I have to go right now, Maureen just called and she needs me to stop and pick her up on my way.” Maureen was a friend of his mom’s from work, frequently needing a ride.

“Awwww, Mom.” Josh called out trying to struggle into his shirt as quickly as he could. “Hang on just a sec. I’ll be right there, I don’t need breakfast.” It was too late though, Josh heard the front door slam before he could get downstairs. “Damn, now I’ll have to ride the bus!” slamming his books down on the counter, Josh resigned himself to his fate and sat down to breakfast.

Later, standing at the bus stop, Josh could only hope that maybe Mark had caught a ride with someone himself, he disdained riding the bus if he could get out of it. It was a vain hope though, as the bus pulled up, Josh could plainly see that Mark and all of his pals were already on it. Climbing wearily onto the bus, Josh tried to avoid even looking in their direction, but it was to no avail.

“Hey Josh,” Mark called, a small grin on his face. “C’mon back here and sit with us. Look who’s here, it’s your old pal Timmy!”

Josh could see Timmy sitting alongside Mark. Timmy’s face looked a little red with maybe a touch of something wary in his eyes, but he was smiling at Josh and so far everyone looked friendly enough. Josh shrugged his shoulders and sauntered towards the group, figuring that Mark wouldn’t try too much here on the bus.

“Say Josh,” Mark began “Timmy here was just telling us that you two were pretty good friends back in grade school.”

“Yeah we were,” Josh smiled at Timmy and nodded his head at the rest of the group. “how’s it going Timmy?” he asked.

“Good, good,” Timmy smiled a little sheepishly. “long time no see huh?”

“Yeah Joshie,” Mark laughed that dirty little laugh he had. “Timmy tells us you were great friends, he even tells us that you were a pole smoker back then too!” With that the entire group of them laughed and hooted, slapping each other exaggerated high fives and pounding the backs of the seats.

Josh felt a cold blast of ice water run through his veins, at the same time feeling his face flaming like it was on fire. He stared hard at Mark and his friends, saving his most ferocious glare for Timmy who wouldn’t look him in the eye.

“POLE SMOKER, POLE SMOKER,” the chant started by Mark quickly picked up by the rest of them. “HOMO, HOMO, FAGGOT, QUEER, HOMO, HOMO!”

Josh immediately turned around and stomped towards the front of the bus. “Let me out, STOP the bus! Let me out!” he hollered at the driver.

“Sit down and shut up!” ordered the driver. “You can get off at the next stop or at school!”

Josh jerked at the bus’s door handle trying to pull it open, “LET ME OFF NOW,” he pleaded, tugging and struggling with the door. “I HAVE TO GET OFF!! PLEASE!” Laughter and chants still ringing loudly in his ears from the back of the bus.

The driver, determined to not deviate from his schedule kept his foot firmly on the accelerator, ordering Josh again to sit down. “Now, damn it! We ain’t stopping for nobody or nothing!”

The tears streaming down Josh’s face, he finally managed to pull the lever to open the door, looking back at the jeering boys, he stepped right off the speeding bus. He may have survived it, he wasn’t trying to kill himself, not really. To the stunned onlookers, their faces pressed against the bus windows, it looked like he had made it, maybe would have run a little ways before catching his balance fully. With all of his athletism and youthful energy he may well have survived it, if it hadn’t been for some other perpetually late kids.

Marge Johnson was at that time following closely behind the bus, hurrying to get her kids to school on time she was temporarily distracted by little Marvin Junior wailing in the backseat. She turned back to the road just in time to see a quick glimpse of Josh's face just at the moment of impact.

The police and school authorities didn’t press any charges against either Mrs. Johnson or the bus driver. Marge didn’t drive a car for over a year, when she finally did resume driving she strapped the kids in securely threatening them with tape over their mouths.

The bus driver never had the patience for driving a school bus again, retiring right after the accident.

Timmy, so haunted by the betrayal he had committed and what he saw on the bus that day, quit school the next year. He turned to drugs and petty crime, dying of a drug overdose a few months later.

If this had been one of the Superman comics Josh had been so fond of as a kid, ALL the bad guys would have got their just rewards in the end, but Mark Newton graduated high school and went on to college. Studying corporate law and gaining a nice internship with a prestigious firm, it looks like he might have a long and brilliant career ahead of him.