Why I Have Three Dachshunds

Every morning I wake up to six eyes, three tails and twelve feet. I own three dogs. Not just any dogs, either, but the most intractable, stubborn, strong-willed, sometimes silly, always irascible and ridiculously diminutive dachshunds.

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If you are at all familiar with the breed, then you probably understand where I'm coming from. There's a reason why they are so little; if this much attitude existed in a larger breed, they would probably rule the world. My oldest dog, Amber, who weighs in at a whopping 11.5 pounds, once took on a 90 pound labrador. It's a given that she won the fight, but the amazing part involved her grabbing this poor dog's 'ankle', flipping him onto his back and going straight for the jugular. Fortunately she was on a leash so in the split second it took her to take on her confused opponent, I was able to drag her off.

From the time Amber was a puppy, she believed herself to be a golden retriever. I was living in south Georgia when I got her, in a trailer next to the football stadium at Georgia Southern (hey, it was cheap). The one thing we had plenty of down there was pine cones. Nearly 9 years later, they are still her favorite toys. She will do anything to get her paws on one, and that includes snatching them out of a christmas tree (after climbing a couple of feet to get to one). If you don't believe that she can equal a golden retriever, I'll show you video of me throwing her ball or a pine cone as far as I can into a lake and you can watch her dive happily in, again and again. But of course, how many sweet-tempered golden retrievers will protect you from well-meaning door-to-door salesmen?

Amber has had quite a few crazy experiences in her life, including participating in my move from Georgia to Oregon. She has happily accompanied me on most of my airplane trips. She is the only dachshund my vet has ever seen break her leg, and not just once but twice. Given that their legs are only a few inches high, it takes alot of insanity and determination for her to have managed it. She also survived rat poisoning. One of the worst moments of my life was when the emergency vet told me she had maybe a 30 percent chance of living through the night. She not only pulled through, but was back in working order in no time. To this day I don't know how she ingested rat poison. I was living in a high-end apartment and didn't have anything remotely resembling poison in my place. Her walks were always leashed (for obvious reasons, see above). Maybe that labrador came back and laced her favorite pine cone with poison, I will never know.

Leashing Amber is a requirement unless I am sure I won't have a close encounter with anyone. My dog is well trained and will obey me, so if I'm in a field tossing the ball for her, there are no worries. If someone starts walking up, I can always call her back. Problems occur, however, when I'm hiking, through no fault of my own or my dog. People always, and I mean ALWAYS assume that a little dog is nice and friendly. Most people aren't completely stupid, they hold their hand out gently for her to sniff, which is fine. Amber would probably never hurt a human (I say probably because with any dog, you never really know until it happens, they aren't really people). But it's other dog owners that drive me nuts. Invariably, their dog is off leash, and when the dog comes sauntering over to check Amber out, they'll say "Oh, don't worry, he's really friendly!" Then most of the time I have to either pick Amber up or forcibly keep the other dog, who is usually at least 5 times her size, away from her. The other dog owner will act confused, and sometimes even offended, by my behavior. I usually just tell them that I'm trying to keep their dog from getting hurt. Which of course causes more confusion. They'll look at my little dog, then back up to me, and wonder if I'm joking. I just shake my head and ask politely if they could put their dog on a leash.

Dachshunds were originally bred as hunting dogs, and a great deal of their instincts remain that way. Though they are small, they are very athletic and with regular exercise, can outlast most humans when it comes to hiking. One thing I've gotten used to is passing people on trails, and maybe 50 percent of the time they will say, "Oh, that poor little dog, you'll have to carry her soon!" I resist the temptation to say, "Sick 'em, Amber!", and politely explain that this dog could probably hike twice as long as I ever could.

I had a friend once ask me to recommend a breed to them. I've owned several breeds, including bearded collies, standard poodles, pekingnese and mutts. I've researched breed after breed when deciding on my 'next dog' (of course I always come back to dachshunds). Given what I knew about my friend, the first thing I said was, "Don't get a beagle," and the second thing was, "Don't get a dachshund." These are not easy dogs to train and they have viciously loud voices, which they use at the drop of a dime. Their personalities can vary, depending on whether they are a short, long or wire-haired, depending on the personality of the parents, and within a litter, depending on each dog's characteristics. However, if the breeding is good, they will generally be stubborn, they will require LOTS of exercise and if not trained properly will rule your house. They need to be shown who's boss from day one and I would recommend never purchasing a dachshund until they are at least 10, preferably up to 12 weeks old. My friend cannot handle strong discipline when it comes to pets. This is not a problem because there are many breeds of dogs that require nothing but a firm voice to train. Dachshunds, however, are not one of them.

Did my friend listen to me? Of course not, she wouldn't be the person I know and love if she had. She went out and bought a beagle. Beagles are cute, happy, and a real pain to train. Her dog has the run of her house and no discipline, but unlike many new pet owners who take on a dog they haven't thought through, she will live with the problems and love the dog as part of the family anyway.

If you are thinking about getting a dachshund, feel free to write me and I will try and talk you out of it. Okay, not really. For the right people, dachshunds are absolutely wonderful. They are great companions that love to please their owners. I call them my little space heaters because I let them burrow under my covers to lay next to my legs. They are long lived and are usually playful throughout their entire lives. I can't imagine ever owning better dogs.