My name is Hildegard
and i take thee
Jason Bob
to be my grumpy husband
and wait on him foot and hand
i will obey obey obey
whatever he might say
his crankiness I will applaud
even when he buys his midlife crisis hot rod
i will honor honor honor
his future AA sponsor
after Chompy drives him to drink
and the Cowboys continue to stink
i will love love love
his model train and NASCAR club
when it meets thrice a week
i know our relationship will have peaked
I, Hildegard Crowder look forward to this life
as Jason Bob's wife
to obey, obey, honor, and love
or maybe to just 'partially listen to' and patronize
my Jason Bob as a lifetime prize
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