A Quickie on Life

A Quickie on Life
Austin Andrus

After coming home from a dentist appointment, the young boy named Walter felt like committing suicide. His teeth hurt, his pants were wet, and his reputation was forever forged. He had not been there alone, for that would have been somewhat survivable, as no one would have seen it. However, another young boy, one whom Walter happened to dislike very much, had been sitting in the chair next to Walter as the incident occurred. This other boy, named Scott, had been singing a song unknown to Walter to himself. A moment later, a blue bird flew into the window, scaring Walter beyond all imagination and reason. The wet trail began. At first, it only ran down his leg, unnoticeable to those outside his pants. Soon, however, the pants, pressing down upon his legs, began to show vague signs of moisture. When Scott noticed this, it was the end of Walter as he knew it. There was much laughter and mocking, along with a score of tears and “shut ups!” The dentist entered the room after he heard the laughter, noticed the young boy Walter’s wet pants, gave a slight smile, and said nothing. He went on with the appointment and sent Walter home. Walter ran as fast as he could all the way home, locked himself in his room, and did not come out again until dinner that night.
While in his room, Walter contemplated his demise. He certainly was not suicidal; he was far too young for such thoughts. He merely felt like he could no longer continue his life outside home. Everyone at school would certainly know what had happened that afternoon in the dentist’s office. Walter would show up at his school Monday morning to a chorus of jokes and cooing. So it was decided that school was not longer an option.
What measures would Walter have to take to prevent this humiliation? Walter considered running away, but knew that he would eventually have to return home for food and a place to sleep, so this idea was tossed out immediately. He thought about wearing a mask, but who could not guess as to whom the boy behind the paper bag was. It would be obvious to all and only increase the humiliation. The only option Walter saw was to cease to live. He did not know how to kill someone though, let alone how to kill himself. Death was a mystery to him. He was young and knew not of how a human dies. He had seen on television scenes of death, guns, and illness, but Walter’s mind could not comprehend how it was all done. How could Walter kill himself? His life was not that bad, after all. So, Walter came to the conclusion that in order to survive the rest of his life, he and his family would simply have to move out of town.
He brought up this issue at dinner that night, but his parents only laughed and told him that the kids would forget eventually. Walter knew this was not true. These kids were unrelenting little devils who would not let even the smallest embarrassment go unnoticed. Walter told his parents that if they did not move, he would kill himself. This got their attention immediately.
“Why would you say such a thing?” his mother asked.
“Because it’s the only way,” Walter replied.
“Death is no way of escaping,” his mother said. “Now, you go to your room. I will not stand for you saying such ridiculous things.”
Walter left and went to sleep. The next morning he awoke but did not have any intention of going to school. As fortune would have it, his mother would send him away that morning to a new school, but the children in this school were strange and seemed to Walter to be the evil spawns of Satan. They were. Walter had been sent to a special school that kept watch on troubled or depressed students. Walter stayed for a week and hated every moment of it. He hardly ever saw his parents and could only talk to them once: Friday night.
“Mom, I don’t like it here.”
“Too bad,” she stated simply.
“I want to come home.”
“Too bad.”
“I miss you.”
“Good for you.”
“It’s like jail here.”
“Deal with it.”
“Mom, I want out!”
“I’m hanging up.”
She hung up.
Walter cried and cried and felt thoroughly unloved. He slept that night with horrid thoughts in his mind. His roommate, a boy by the name of Chris, awoke him and told his he was talking in his sleep.
“Sorry,” Walter said.
“Oh, it’s no problem. At least you say good things in your sleep.”
“What do you mean?” Walter asked, curious.
“My last roommate, who I hear is now in jail, talked in his sleep too. But he would say things like ‘I’m going to kill that bastard’ or ‘Why don’t you go somewhere other than Heaven!’ He scared me, so when he was arrested for killing another student here, I was happy.”
That being said, Walter decided he would never be able to sleep again. He decided that next morning that this place would be the death of him. He did not want this, however.
The following Friday, Walter called his mother again.
“Mom, I don’t like it here!”
“So?”
“There was a boy killed here, Mom!”
“And your point is?”
“Mom! I don’t wanna die!”
“Do you mean that?”
“Yes, I do!”
The next day, his parents came and rescued him for the institution. On Monday he went to school, expecting people to point and laugh at him. They did not. Apparently, Scott had been kind enough to keep Walter’s incident a secret. As for his long absence, his parents had covered it by explaining they’d been on vacation. Walter’s life went back to normal, and he finally decided that not everything is evil and that his life was not ruined. Scott, however, still made fun of him in secret.