The Car Ride

The Car Ride

J. Fitzgerald

2003

The afterthoughts came to me only seconds after my actions. Backing away, I failed to speak and the only sound that left my lips was a small murmur. Upon looking into his deep brown eyes, I realized confusion ran through him just as much as it ran through me. I took another step back, but I had nowhere left to go. The locker handles behind me bit into my back, as I struggled to breathe. He took a step forward and I shut my eyes to the hall’s bright glare, then put a hand up to stop him.

"Don’t," I choked out. "Just don’t."

"But…" he began, but I slid around him and began to walk away. His words were caught in his throat and I stopped him before he could continue.

Shaking my head, I said, "Forget it. Forget about me."

My steps grew faster and farther apart as I picked up my pace. I felt tears begin to sting my eyes. My feet felt heavy and I struggled to breathe. No. He hadn’t. We were just too different.

Upon reaching the doors, I threw my body into one, the opened it, only to find rain had begun to pour in heavy sheets. Great. It just figured. Wrapping my hooded sweatshirt tighter around my body, I began to walk home as the school grew farther and farther behind me.

A pair of headlights broke through the rain and a car pulled up on the curb beside me. The red coat of paint was familiar, as well as the person inside. I continued to walk past the car, not even giving him the satisfaction of looking at him. The car continued to roll along the curb beside me.

"Come on. Just let me give you a ride home," he yelled out the passenger’s window from the driver’s seat.

"I thought I told you to forget about me," I yelled, continuing to look forward and walk at a steady pace.

"It’s storming. Get in and let me drive you home, would you?"

"Go away," I screamed. "I’m just fine."

"I’m going that way, remember? We’re next door neighbors."

"And that’s all we’ll ever be."

The car came to an abrupt stop and the next thing I knew, a door was slammed and footsteps heavily hit the pavement. I had to sidestep him, so I wouldn’t ram into his body. But he was just as quick as he always had been. He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me to him as the rain picked up its pace and began to fall harder.

"Let me go!"

"No," he said simply.

"Listen, in case you haven’t noticed, we AREN’T friends. We’re lab partners, we’re neighbors, but we are not friends and we’re certainly not anything more."

"That’s where you’re wrong. You aren’t wrong often, are you? But you know what, you are this time!" he announced.

"You think you’re so great, don’t you?" I yelled in frustration and anger. "You think I should worship the ground you walk on because you’re smart and cute and the captain of the god damn football team! Every other girl would be falling at your feet, wouldn’t they? But you know what? That’s NOT me! I’m not like them!" I pulled my arm free of his grasp and stomped my foot. "We’re two totally different people in case you haven’t noticed!"

"I hadn’t realized that was a bad thing," he screamed back at me.

"Well it is and I refuse to be one of them! I won’t! I’m fine not being popular and I’m fine not being in your group!"

He shook his head. "All I did was ask you to Homecoming."

"And I’m not going, especially with you!"

He bit his lip, his eyes shining a bit of hurt, but that quickly left as he said defiantly, "You kissed me back." My spine froze and I didn’t move. "When I kissed you in that hallway, you kissed me back. So now you’re running scared because you’re too terrified to admit I mean something more to you."

Anger shot through me again. "I’m just some toy to you!" I started to walk away, but he grabbed my hand. "Let me go! My God, you just don’t give up do you?! You only want me because you see me as some sort of chal…"

But my words were caught off as he pulled me to him and kissed me deeply. I tried to pull away, but lost the fight in the end as he held me gently.

When we pulled away, I stared up at him in awe. "Don’t say it," he whispered, pushing my hair away from my face, before gently cradling my face in his hands. "Let me talk." Silence passed for a few seconds. "I like you, okay? I genuinely like you and have for awhile, but you just never give in." I looked from his eyes to his brown hair, to the way his lips moved when he talked. "This isn’t a game to me. So, please, if I mean anything to you at all, can you let me just drive you home? We can talk about Homecoming later. All I need you to do now is let me take you home, so I at least know part of what I’m feeling is reciprocated."

I bit my lip, weighting the right decision. I thought for a few minutes, before pulling away from him, stepping back. And glancing at him once, I stepped off the curb and climbed into his car for the car ride home.